


We Are All Worthy of Redemption

by Maxy93



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Multi, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:34:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 60,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23662417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maxy93/pseuds/Maxy93
Summary: Hazel is the daughter of Hosea and Bessie, she hasn't known another life than the one the Dutch created for them. After Blackwater shakes the gang to its core, Hazel is left to navigate the new life for the gang and deal with growing up while on the run. Starts several years prior to RDR2 and will follow all the way to the end of RDR1.
Relationships: Sean MacGuire/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 15





	1. One : The First Decade Is Always Easy

Chapter One : The First Decade Is Always Easy  
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May 17, 1881

May hadn’t always been a bad month, in fact Hosea had always liked that with the new month usually came warmer weather and more job opportunities, but now it was a chilling reminder of what he had lost. On May 17, 1880 Hosea had become a new father as well as a new widower. Bessie even becoming pregnant in the first place was a shock to both of them. After three years of marriage and a few pre-marital beddings the couple had given up hope of their own child and had decided that Arthur was the only child they would ever have and they would have to share him with Dutch. So when the doctor gave them the news they didn’t get too excited, not expecting it to last and neither of them were actually expecting it to result in a squalling baby girl entering the world.

Bessie’s labor was long and hard, she wasn’t exactly a spring chicken and the doctor had pulled Hosea aside and told him the chances of coming out of this with both his wife and child were slim, Hosea told the man to save his wife, but in the end Hosea was left holding a baby as his wife wasted away in front of him. Bessie managed to hang on for a few days; she named the baby, and was even able to feed her a few times before she passed. Dutch, Arthur, Susan, and Annabelle had all arrived right before she had passed and were all able to say their goodbyes. Arthur held Hazel as Dutch dug a hole and the women helped pack and sell things from around the house, Hosea was coming back to the group. The last day before the new owners of the homestead were set to arrive Hosea and Dutch sat outside on the porch as Hosea drowned his sorrows in a bottle and mourned the life he had fought to get, even if he wasn’t totally out of the outlaw life, he had given Bessie a normal one, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to live it anymore, living your life split between two ideals was hard.

Dutch was scouting a lead up north when Hosea’s letter arrived and now they were heading back that way, Hosea was not in the right mind space to help Dutch, but when he did manage to crawl out of his bottle he was always greeted with the sight of his teenage son trying to control his daughter. Hazel was a long baby and Arthur was still trying to get the hang of his long limbs, the boy hit all the teenage milestones later than normal it seemed. Annabelle and Susan would always correct Arthur or gently encourage him if his resolve wavered when it came to the infant. Hosea knew he would never have to worry about Hazel growing up without a mother figure, or even not having love, she was going to be luckier than most of them were as children, that’s why Hosea never questioned his decision to bring his daughter into this outlaw life. Then when she was older she could decide if she wanted to stay in or not.

All of those emotions were still a bit raw this year, but things were better. Bessie was a year gone, but Hazel was a year older and she now had a head full of hair that was the exact color of Bessie’s and it always caught bright in the sun and got in her eyes when it was windy, it grew as fast as Bessie’s had too, Annabelle and Susan always fought about if it needed to be cut or not several times a month. Right now the toddler who was slowly mastering walking was trying to chase after Copper who was running around her in circles after his own tail. Arthur was by the fire, splitting his time between stirring breakfast and drawing in his journal, Dutch and Annabelle had yet to emerge from their tent, Susan was looking over the supplies, she was going to head into town later on today because once he and Dutch hit the warehouse tomorrow they would have to leave, so they needed to be prepared for their journey towards the Dakotas.

A disgruntled squeak and a thump had Hosea turning back towards his daughter who had fallen on her bottom for the third time in what seemed like the same amount of minuets. He smiled as he watched her try to push herself back up, but her arm had gotten stuck under her leg and she couldn’t seem to be able to figure out how to free herself and she started getting frustrated and Copper who had deciding to keep licking her face wasn’t helping anything. He put his bottle on the ground, he was planning on nursing it all day, and walked over to his daughter and scooped her up and tossed her in the air so she wouldn’t start crying and upset the calm morning they were having. “Papa’s gottcha!” he says as he tosses her a second time before he settles her on his hip and walks over towards the fire, Arthur was too caught up in his drawing and the oatmeal was sticking to the side of the old pot, they really needed a new one. Arthur let out a huff and rubbed at the paper with the side of his hand. “What’s the matter son?”

“I was trying to draw Hazel and Copper but they never do what I need them too long enough to finish it. So I have to make up the rest.” He grumbles, Hosea just shook his head as the teenager pulled his legs closer to his chin and with a look of concentration went back to his work.

“I’m sure whatever you make will be amazing, not like you let the rest of us see your drawings too often, but they are always amazing.” Hosea says as he leans over the fire to look at the white goop in the pan, it wasn’t looking too shabby, maybe they had some fruit they could toss in it-

“Mr. Matthews!” a loud shriek from across the camp made him jump and drop the spoon into the pot, hot oatmeal flew up and hit him in the hand, making him jump more and his curse joined Arthur’s curse as the boy tossed his journal to the ground beside him, Susan’s yelling obviously messing his drawing up again. The woman storms across the camp, “You’re going to catch that child on fire if you get her that close to the fire!” Hazel let out a little whimper at the commotion, but brightened at the sight of her aunt walking towards her; Hosea handed her over without an argument and shook his burnt hand out. Dutch and Annabelle popped their heads out of his tent with a worried expression, obviously trying to figure out what caused such a loud outburst when the morning had been so quiet.

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Later on that night Hosea and Dutch sat with their heads over a map, double checking all the planning for their job, Susan and Annabelle were playing dominoes and were getting a bit too drunk to actually play right, while Arthur, Hazel, and Copper were sitting in the tall grass watching the lighting bugs dance in the night. Hazel was easily amused and distracted by the flashing lights and Arthur was trying to get Copper to understand how to sit, but the puppy was having more fun trying to catch the flashing bugs than his master. Hosea missed Bessie, but as he and Dutch laughed over memories of their first time hitting a warehouse and he noticed his bottle was still half-full that time did help painful things heal, and if this is how much this day had improved in a year, he had hope for all the months of May that followed.

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1886

*CAMP*

“Ow damn it!” a very tiny voice squeaked and Hosea looked up to see a grey-white shirt sail a small way across the air, Hosea just shook his head and didn’t bother to scold his daughter since Susan’s shrill voice filled the air soon after.

“Miss Hazel! What is the matter with you? That ain’t no way for a young lady to act!” The camp mother hen was soon in front of the somber 6-year-old pointing her finger at the discarded shirt, “We might live in the woods but you are not an animal.”

“But Miss Grimshaw-,” Hazel tried to argue,

“No buts, you know better, and you need to learn how to fix a hole in a shirt. Now pick it up and let’s see what made you decide you could get away with that.”

Hosea shook his head again and watched as his scolded daughter slipped off the stool that was still too tall for her, pick up the shirt from the ground, and go back to her seat. Hosea guessed she had stabbed herself with the needle again since she kept sticking her middle finger in her mouth as she did, and she probably lost her temper at the pricks she seemed to always give herself. Hosea and Dutch both thought Susan was in denial when it came to Hazel being a seamstress, the girl just didn’t have the knack for anything related to fabric. Hosea doubted Dutch would ever let the girl near his clothes again since his red vest turned into a pink and green one a few weeks ago, But since Annabelle had passed Susan needed help keeping the men clothed and they couldn’t afford new ones every time a hole appeared or buttons were ripped off.

“I’m sorry Miss Grimshaw.” Hazel says after they looked over the shirt a few times, even Hazel knew she wasn’t good at this sewing stuff.

“It’s okay child,” Susan says with a softer tone in her voice, “We can always say John was attacked by an animal if anyone asks why his shirt looks like this.” They both laugh at this, since John always looked like he had been attacked by a small angry animal, all wild hair and ratty clothes.

“I really don’t think I’m ever gonna be good at this stuff.” The child says putting the needle back in the cushion and rubbing at her finger again.

“It just takes practice, now go on, get outta here and enjoy your birthday; the boys are over yonder at the river.” Susan shoos the child away who doesn’t need to be told twice as she leaps off the stool and takes off in a dead run towards where her “brothers” were and the older woman sat at the table and started pulling the tread from John’s shirt and fix the hole properly. “Hosea, I hate to tell you think but your daughter is going to be more like a boy than a girl, she couldn’t sew her way out of wet paper.”

“You keep giving her leave to play than finish her work none of the kids are going to be afraid of you anymore, that tough exterior isn’t going to work on them.”

“Don’t be silly, even Arthur still asks how high when I say jump.”

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*SALOON*

Dutch had woken up that morning before most of camp and had headed towards town and the saloon, Hosea had told him on and off for the last six months that time would heal all wounds, and that the pain from Annabelle’s murder would one day be bearable, Dutch was doubting that day would be today as he downed another shot of whiskey, he was thinking of leaving the glass alone and just downing the bottle, but he was also supposed to be looking for leads so he couldn’t. Or he wouldn’t, knowing no one at camp would begrudge him if he sank into the bottle for the day. It was also Hazel’s 6th birthday and he didn’t want to be too drunk when they ate dinner and exchanged gifts. Hosea and Dutch always tried to have the birthdays of the young ones be days of joy, and Dutch wasn’t going to screw it up no matter how bad he wanted too. He’d just finish the bottle, dunk his head in a river, and go back to camp.

The ring on his pinky caught his eye as he poured another shot, normally Dutch was able to bury his pain under his rage, but today he just couldn’t. Hosea had woken up with a bottle in his hand, his own grief for Bessie always crept up on this day, and Dutch just couldn’t deal with both of their grief and Hosea hadn’t said a word as the younger man rode off. Annabelle had given him that ring; she had smiled so bright, her brown eyes flashing with joy, her dark skin streaked darker with the mud they had fallen into during the stage robbery, Annabelle’s first stage with Dutch. She had found it on the seat and gave it to him. He rotated the ring around his finger a few times and then froze all movement when the familiar and hated voice of an O’Driscoll filled the bar.

Dutch hadn’t heard much of his former friend’s gang in months, after they killed Annabelle they had disappeared from sight, or it could be that Colm had to regroup after Dutch, Hosea, and Arthur had killed a whole camp after Annabelle’s death. Dutch hated the man, but he always seemed to have good information and his boys were loud, especially when drunk. He pulled his hat down and leaned back into the shadows his back table afforded him. Most of the start of the conversation was pointless drivel and Dutch almost gave up, but after a few shots the 2 man at the bar started to wag their tongues.

“So the big man is coming this way?” the smaller of the two asked, he had red hair and a very thick accent.

“That’s what I heard, Bart told me that he caught word that Van der Linde was down this way.” The other man said back, Dutch was pretty sure he had met this one before, few of Colm’s men had short hair, even fewer were clean shaved, Dutch’s brain was giving him the name Peter, but he had no way of knowing if that was right or not.

“Who?” asked the redhead, motioning for another beer.

“Some arrogant prick that used’a run with us last few years, he and Colm had a minor disagreement and some blood was spilled. Dutch is his name, great shot but a real shit with a big head. Always picking up brats and using up supplies on lost causes.”

“He picks up kids? Some kinda sick fuck?”

“Nah, or at least I doubt it, just likes to pick of strays, had three of them with him last I saw him, and had a few girls too.”

“Women and kids? Idiot.” They both order another beer and they click the bottles together and Dutch feels his blood boil, Dutch looked at Possibly Peter trying to figure out who he was. If he knew about Arthur, John, and Hazel he was probably one of James’s men, since Dutch kept most of his group away from Colm and James had actually shown up where they were camping a few times before he had to put a bullet in his head.

The men take a drink before continuing on, “So what’s Colm’s plan?”

“No clue, guess we’ll find out when he gets here in a few days, unless he takes a train, it’s a bit of a ride from where he is. But if it involves Van der Linde it’s gonna be good and it’s gonna be bloody.” The door to the saloon swings open and Peter motions the guys over, yelling Bart as he does so. Dutch clenches his jaw as he recognized Bart O’Driscoll walk towards the other man, Bart is one of Colm’s cousins that came over on the boat with him.

“Boys!” Bart says as he orders a beer as well, “wanna get back on Colm’s good side with me?”

“Why? You found a good score?” Probably Peter asks,

“A moonshing whorehouse?” Redhead says with a laugh. Dutch though his eyes were going to roll out of his head.

“Better, I found Van der Linde’s brats.” Bart says with a sick smile and Dutch clutched the sides of the table to stop him from reaching for his gun, he needed to know just what this man knew and if he had told anyone else before he risked shooting a man in the middle of a saloon and being chased out of town by the law.

“Bullshit,” Probably Peter says, “even if you did know for sure where they are I know for a fact they are never alone, and never anywhere they can just be snatched without causing a fuss.”

“They are alone now, down at the river bend. All of them, even Matthew’s little girl. All alone.”

“No way, even if we could get close-,” Probably Peter started

“But if Colm hates this Van der whoever person so much,” Dutch bristled at his name being forgotten by this nameless O’Driscoll kid, “just think how happy he would be with us, three helpless kids, easy pickings.” Redhead says.

“But they’re not that helpless, that older one, Arthur I think, he’s a pretty good shot if I remember right, what makes you think we can even get close to grab them?”

“My guess is that big brother Arthur is supposed to be babysitting, but he’s not paying attention beyond making sure the other two don’t drown. I hid in the woods and watched them for almost 10 minutes and they didn’t look my way no matter what I did, I even coughed a few times and nothing. Not even the dog noticed I was there, it will be easy to grab them, just grab the girl and don’t think the other two will give us any problem.”

“I say we go.” Says Redhead

“I don’t know, Dutch and Hosea would track us down and if they ever found us….neither of you was there when they burned camp after Colm killed that woman. I was, and I have no wish to live through something like that again.” Probably Peter said.

“There won’t be another burning like that, Dutch was only that reckless since the woman was dead, he wouldn’t set fire to a camp if his kids were there and alive.” Bart said as he downed his last drops of beer. “Do what you want Gerry, but I would like to have top supplies this year.” Bart says and Dutch does in fact know the man he was incorrectly calling Peter, he was James’ right hand, he had been right there when Dutch had killed James O’Driscoll and apparently had escaped his wrath the night Dutch burned the camp they had all had been at after Annabelle had passed. Gerry Quinn was his name; he had a drinking problem and a loud mouth even back then.

Dutch took another show of his own bottle as the three men stood from the bar, Gerry swooning a little as they did so, Dutch watched as they headed towards the horses hitched outside and when they were a bit down the road he followed them. There was a river a few bits from camp, not close enough that camp was in danger, and not close enough for Hosea to be of any use, Dutch mounted his new stallion that he named The Count since he was very slim and stubborn and a little snobby when it came to his feed and who he allowed near him. Poor Arthur had almost broken his arm when the horse threw him not long after Dutch had brought him back to camp. John had dared him to ride the horse, and Arthur, not wanting to be upstaged by his little brother had followed through with it.

The O’Driscoll boys were not hard to follow; they weren’t exactly trying to be subtle as they went. Thinking they were on their way to an easy job, Dutch waited until they were a good few miles away from town before he shot the Redhead off his horse, causing the other two to slow as their horses reared up at the sound. Dutch soon shot at the ground by the horses and it didn’t take long for the drunken men to fall off the panicking horses. Dutch rode up to them and slipped off his saddle, kicking the guns away from the flailing men. “Hello boys, going somewhere?”

“Van der Linde!” Bart huffed out as he tried to push himself off the ground, only to get a boot to his face for his trouble; Gerry just looked at him like a fish out of water.

“I suggest you both make you’re peace.” Dutch said before pulling the hammer back and ending Bart’s worthless life. He then looked at Gerry, “You really should have followed your gut and stayed at the bar. But you never were very smart.” Another shot and another O’Driscoll was gone from the world. Dutch looted their bodies and quickly drug them deeper into the woods and far away from the road. He dropped a few bits of predator bait on them for good measure, hoping the wolves would rip them apart. He whistled The Count back over and kicked the horse in the flanks as he kept in the direction of the river. If everything the O’Driscoll’s had said, if the kids were not paying attention than they were going to get an earful from Dutch. He had buried the love of him life and their unborn child and he wasn’t looking to bury anymore of his family. Especially not his children.  
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*RIVER*

John was sitting in the river, the water just brushing the sides of his legs, he still refused to learn to swim, no matter how much he was pestered to do so. Some people were made to swim and John had decided a long time ago he was not one of them. But he still liked to sit in the cool water and play with Hazel and annoy Arthur by tossing smooth river rocks at him. They had gone fishing and when Hazel came crashing through the trees they had abandoned their poles and just enjoyed the cool water.

Arthur was chasing Hazel around close to the shore, the water moving too fast in the deeper areas and Hazel being too young a swimmer for Arthur to allow her much breathing room, every time she got too deep he would scoop her up and toss her towards John who would splash her and trip her making her crash into the water again. She was giggling and yelling fairly loud, but it was just too much fun to really get onto her for it, it was her birthday after all and they all deserved a bit of a break from Annabelle’s death that still seemed to haunt the group. Copper was munching away at a fish he had snuck from the bag that held the rest of their catch.

“Hazel, if you go beyond that rock until I get back I’m going to drown you.” Arthur says as he walks towards the shore to put the bag out of the dogs reach, if they came back empty handed and Copper with a full belly again he’d never hear the end of it. He tied the bag to a nearby tree and picked up a stick from the ground and called Copper’s name who happily left his fish at the voice and the movement of the stick. He tossed it towards the water and the dog took off, moving so fast John had to fling himself to the left or he was going to get trampled by the dog, he came up coughing water out of his mouth.

“Arthur!” He complained

“If you wouldn’t just sit on the shore like a wuss that wouldn’t have happened now would it?” Arthur smiled at the mad look on John’s face, the gangly 13-year-old was all legs and cracking voice and Arthur loved to annoy him since he was so funny to watch and listen to.

“You shouldn’t have thrown the stick this way when there is a whole river that way!”

“Arthur! Look at this!” Hazel’s voice broke the boys up and Arthur looked at where Hazel was kneels; her hands wrapped close around some poor animal the girl had managed to catch this time. She had always had an ability to capture random animals and Arthur always checked his boots after she stashed a snake she had found in one last year, and he had found three or four others since then.

“Hazel, whatever it is put it back, Miss Grimshaw will skin you alive if it’s another snake.” Arthur says walking over and shaking his head when a small frog popped his head out from between her fingers, the grey-green animal croaking his displeasure for being caught.

“It’s not a snake, it’s a frog! Think we can find a toad? Then it’ll be like Uncle Dutch’s book!”

“Dutch is not going to let you keep a frog and a toad around camp.” Arthur says trying to figure out which she even had in her hand; it was hard to tell the difference sometimes.

“Why not, you have Copper?”

“Copper also helps with hunting and watching the camp, what are your frog and toad gonna do?”

“Scare Miss Grimshaw!” John says as he makes his way over, shaking his head to remove the excess water as he did.

“And then we’ll all be in trouble, I’m sorry Hazel, let it go, he probably has a home around here anyways and you wouldn’t want to take him away from his home would you?”

“I guess not.” The girl says as she gently lets the animal go and they all watch it hop frantically away. “Think I could have a pet one day?” she asks, looking at Arthur, “I don’t even have my own horse yet. I’d like to have one.”

“One day I’m sure you will, I didn’t get my first horse until I was fifteen.” Arthur says ruffling Hazel’s wet and tangled hair.

“But John has one and he’s not that old.”

“That’s because I’m the favorite!” John says with a smile.

“You’re just Uncle Dutch’s favorite, not THE favorite!” Hazel yells trying to give John a shove, neither child had notice when Arthur dunked both his hands deep in the river and pulled up two handfuls of river mud and splatted it down on both of their heads, more yelling and giggles resumed as the younger children tried to tackle their older brother to the ground and get mud in his hair as well.

BANG

A shot broke thought the air and Arthur was immediately at his feet, shoving John and Hazel behind him, his body was tight as his gaze went from the tree line where it sounded like the shot came from and the shoreline where is cattleman sat, useless to him. He slowly motioned for them to start making their way towards the shore, keeping the kids right behind him. He kept looking at the trees and Copper had dropped his stick and the fur on his back was sticking up as he barred his teeth, the animal as unhappy about the sound as Arthur was.

“I’m afraid that’s you dead son.” A familiar voice rang out from the left of where Arthur had been looking, and the 23-year-old relaxing a bit, but then tensed again at the implications of Dutch’s words and the shot that rang out. The group froze in the water as the dark-haired man walked from the trees, a very unimpressed and slightly angry look on his face. Arthur wasn’t surprised that neither John nor Hazel moved from their position behind them, even they knew that look on Dutch’s face was not a good one and it probably was not going to bode well for them. Dutch had a tendency to be long winded when he yelled at them, and Hosea was not there to help them out of it. They were doomed to listen to the full speech.  
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*CAMP*

Hosea was happy he was an experienced drinker or the task of drinking sun-warmed whiskey would be a bit harder to bear, but he was so used to it the drink went down in throat to his belly smoothly and he picked back up where he was attempting to wrap Hazel’s birthday gift. Normally Annabelle would wrap the gifts, but now it was up to him and Susan and neither was very good at this and she had left him a bit ago to fetch the laundry from the trees where they hung to dry. Hosea briefly wondered if his daughter would mind if the gifts were just handed to her instead of having to rip the brown paper off, but he would never do that, even Arthur smiled more when his gifts were wrapped than when they weren’t.

Every once in a while the quiet of camp would be broken by a few loud pitched giggles and screams as Hosea listened to the sounds of his children playing not far from camp and it made him smile knowing nothing too serious was going on because Arthur’s loud and bossy voice would also ring in the air almost as loud as the gleeful giggles. Hosea loved how Arthur was with Hazel and John, and he was amazed at how amazing of a man he had become. But he had always been like a sponge since Dutch and Hosea found him being tossed out a window in some town in the middle of nowhere. He had been caught trying to steal from the family that lived there and, as Arthur told them later, had a father who abused the family horses and hunting dogs. Arthur had always had a soft spot for animals, which is way Hosea thought he had taken so well with John.

John had been almost feral when he joined the group, but almost being hung at such a young age would probably do that to a boy. He had been more closed off than Arthur had been, but he also got over it faster, a few months in and he showed them all a carefree and curious side, but his curiosity always got him in trouble, he didn’t seem to have a real sense of self-preservation that Arthur had. One time a herd of wild hogs had chased him up a tree when the boy had been trying to see the baby hogs that were in the middle of the group. Now he was like most 13-year-olds and just liked to cause mayhem for mayhem's sake. The only reason the boy needed to do anything was simply because he could.

Hosea often dreamed that one day Arthur and John would have a relationship like the one he shared with Dutch. The personalities were similar enough, and Arthur was already pretty protective of young John and John loved to torment the older man. Maybe when he and Dutch got too old for this life the boys could carry on. There would always be poor in the world, always corrupt wealth that could be taken and used for the betterment of the world. But they would both still need to grow up a bit more.

BANG

Hosea dropped the paper back to the table and shot to his feet, straining to hear anything in the silence of the woods. He quickly grabbed his rife from the gun wagon and took off towards where the kids were at, he quickly found the river and followed it west, that shot was close to camp, but sounded closer to where the kids would be playing, and the lack of noise from the three youths was doing nothing to help his worry. He froze in his steps as a voice hit his ears, “-all the stupid things you could do, you never let your guard down!” Hosea’s grip loosened on the gun as Dutch’s voice rang loud in his ears. But now his curiosity was peaked as he listened to the frantic tone in his friend’s voice, the one too many cracks in his words that reflected how loud he was yelling. Dutch never admitted that his voice cracked, even though they all knew that it did, mostly when he was yelling or drunk. Dutch’s tone wasn’t giving off a danger vibe, simply a scared one. Dutch was using his dad voice.

A rare tone that Hosea had only heard on a handful of times since he often left the discipline of the boys to him and Dutch didn’t like disciplining Hazel since she was a little girl. But he had heard it, on Arthur when he had been too busy helping scout a homestead that he hadn’t eaten in a few days, John when he tried to climb a tree that had a bear trap under it, and Hazel when she tried to catch a rattlesnake. All of those times Hosea had been away and action needed to be taken at that moment. But Hosea wasn’t sure Dutch had ever sounded like he was right now.

Hosea shouldered his rife as he walked around the edge of the river through the trees and found his wayward children and yelling friend. The youths were standing in the running river as Dutch was pacing at the river’s edge, his arms waving wildly at his words. John was standing with his arms crossed and his fingers fiddling with a rock was still in his hand, yelling rarely worked with John, it just aggravated him and made him short tempered hours later. Hazel was griping the leg of Arthur’s pants with tight fists as she tried not to cry, after John told her only babies cried she always tried not to. Arthur just stood ramrod straight with his hands clenched at his sides and his head hung down. Apparently this was directed at the poor boy and the other two were just casualties of being there at the time.

When Dutch took a breath, Hosea popped out from behind the trees, “You’re going to yell yourself horse there Dutch.” He walks closer to the group and scooped Hazel up when she ran from her place behind Arthur to her father’s arms. Hosea flipped her up to his back and she wrapped her legs around his middle and buried her hands in the collar of his shirt, having learned a long time ago that if she grabbed his neck she would strangle him. He motioned John and Arthur towards him and he gently placed his hands at the bases of his boys’ necks and steered them away from where Dutch was trying to argue his point.

“Hosea, I was just-,” Dutch yelled out, his face red from his anger.

“I know what you were trying to ‘just’ Dutch, I think people in Mexico heard what you were trying to ‘just’, we all know since you were yelling so loud, and you should know by now that you never say anything good when you get like this.” Hosea turns from his friend fully and gently leads the youths away from Dutch.

A few steps away and John wiggles himself free of Hosea’s grip and angrily rubs at the back of his neck in irritation, he didn’t like being herded anywhere by anyone. Hosea let him go and moved his grip from Arthur’s neck to his shoulders, giving the boy an affectionate squeeze. His back was wet from where Hazel sat and he cringed a bit at the smell of the river that clung to them, it obviously wasn’t the cleanest river or an animal had died in it not too far off. “When we get back all of you need to put on dry clothes, don’t want you getting sick when the sun goes down.”

When they found camp John ran off towards his and Arthur’s shared tent and had his wet shirt flopping on the ground before Hosea pulled Hazel from his back, soon she ran off towards the tent they shared, and it was just him and Arthur left. Hosea looked at the boy, well, he was a man, but it was still hard for Hosea to accept just how old he was sometimes, especially when he looked like he did now. “Come on son, let’s get you dry. I have something I need you to do for me when you change.” Hosea walked towards his tent as Arthur walked away and found Hazel struggling to pull her wet dress over her head. “you know buttons exist for a reason?” he says as he pulls the wet fabric back down and pops open the few white buttons from around the top of the dress, helping her pull it from her body. He drops a towel on her head as he tosses the dress on his laundry pile that they would tackle tomorrow.

“Why is Uncle Dutch so mad?” she asks, as she rubs her arms and looking at her father.

“He’s just sad Hazy, you’re Uncle Dutch misses Auntie Anna very much and it’s just making him worry about you and your brothers more. He didn’t mean anything by it.” Hosea says sitting on the ground and handing her a shirt and pants, as per the agreement they had made once she was old enough to argue about what clothes she would wear, she rotated from dresses to pants, it was the only way they’d ever get her in a dress.

“We miss her too and we aren’t yelling.” She says as her head pops from the hole in the shirt. “Aunty Anna wouldn’t want him yelling like that anyways, she always yelled back at him.”

“I know she would.” Hosea helps pull her wet hair free of where it was catching on the shirt.

“He made Arthur sad, Arthur doesn’t like it when Uncle Dutch yells, I mean, he really doesn’t.” she says as she sits and pulls that pants up.

“I know, I’ll take care of it. I promise Arthur won’t be sad for long.”

Hazel pulls herself onto Hosea’s lap and fiddles with the brass buttons on his vest. “I wanna help Uncle Dutch not be sad too. How can I do that?”

“Uncle Dutch is going to be sad for a while I’m afraid, he loved your Auntie very, very much. He probably always will, but he’ll be okay.”

“Do you think she’s with momma?”

“I’m sure she is, and they are both watching us.” Hosea presses a kiss to his daughter’s head at her words; John’s inquisitive side was rubbing off on her.

“Arthur and John’s mommas are there too right?”

“Yep, they are all up there, making sure you are all okay.”

“I wanna draw Uncle Dutch a picture.” She says pulling away, “it always made Auntie Anna smile, and maybe it will help him too.”

“You can color him one when you get back, I’m sending you and your brothers into town for a bit, I have something every important for you all to do for me.”

Hazel quickly ran out of the tent in search for John and Miss Grimshaw to tell them that Hosea wanted them to go into town as Hosea sought out his oldest. He was sitting at the table petting Copper who was chewing on an old boot of Dutch’s. Hosea sat across from him. “Arthur, don’t take Dutch’s bluster get to you. He’s not quite himself right now.”

“But he’s still right Hosea, what if it wouldn’t have been him in the trees watching us, what if it was a lawman or an O’Driscoll. I wasn’t paying attention and John or Hazel could have been hurt. “Arthur’s voice was low and rough, he was taking all Dutch said to heart.

“If it would have been a lawman you wouldn’t have said anything to give camp away and if it would have been an O’Driscoll you would have done everything to keep the kids safe. You’re smarter than you think you are and Colm’s men are dumber than a box of rocks. So I have faith that you would have all been just fine in the end. You’re just a kid Arthur,” Hosea smiled at Arthur’s annoyed look at that, he didn’t want to be lumped in with John or Hazel’s age bracket anymore, “and besides that you’re human, none of us expect you to be on guard 24/7, especially not when you are enjoying a swim with your brother and sister. You did nothing wrong, and if it bugs you this much, just bare it in mind in the future. But it’s okay to let loose and have fun. If it wasn’t Dutch and I wouldn’t have beer in the camp.”

Seeing Arthur smile and nod Hosea moved on to the next step and that was sending the kids and Susan to town so he could yell at Dutch and try and figure out just what had the man yelling that loudly at the youths. If he was so worried about being aware of surroundings he should never have let Hosea sneak up on the group without being noticed. Dutch was angry, rightfully so, but he wasn’t allowed to take it out on the kids, and especially not let his own insecurities weigh down on Arthur. Arthur was loyal to the man to a fault and Hosea was always on the lookout to make sure Dutch didn’t cross that line from using utilizing Arthur to simply using him. The boy would jump off a cliff if Dutch asked him too.

An hour after the camp had been deserted minus Hosea the man went to look for Dutch who had yet to return to camp. Hosea found him by the river’s edge, standing with his arms crossed looking across the water towards the mountains that rose above the landscape. Hosea pulled a cigar from his pocket and held it towards the man as a peace offering. Dutch lets out a sigh and grabs the smoke from Hosea, watching as he lit a match against the sole of his shoe, lighting Dutch’s cigar and Hosea’s cigarette. “I’m sorry.” Dutch says after a few puffs. “I hate yelling at them, I was just so…..I don’t know….angry I guess, but it wasn’t at them, not really.”

“What set you off? Even angry you don’t usually act without reason.” Dutch recounted running into the O’Driscoll’s at the saloon, what all they had said, what he had done to them, and Hosea put his hand on the younger man’s shoulder. “It’s good that you were there, you kept the kids safe, but I don’t want you to live in this fear that we’re all going to die by Colm’s hand. It’s okay to mourn her Dutch, but don’t let your grief take over your life, it’s not worth it, trust me. I’ve been there.”

“I don’t want to feel like this ever again Hosea, I don’t know if I can handle it. I loved Annabelle, that real, honest to God love. And when I think about losing someone like that again….I don’t think I could survive it again. I can’t lose anyone else like that, I won’t.”

“And I understand that, that pain, it’s suffocating, but you cannot take you’re fear out on the boys or Hazel, they did nothing to deserve that from you.”

“I won’t stand for them to put themselves in danger for no reason, if Arthur was-.”

“Arthur is still young Dutch, a young man who didn’t have a childhood and he was playing with his siblings and enjoying a beautiful day. They are allowed to fun Dutch; they are allowed to let their guards down and just be for once. We don’t live an easy life, always on the run, always looking over our shoulders, they deserve an afternoon.”

Dutch and Hosea talked as the sun sank down lower in the sky, the two men made their way back to camp having decided tonight they would have the party like normal and tomorrow they would move camp, Dutch wasn’t in the right mind to deal with Colm and Hosea didn’t want to pick up the pieces if they ran into the man because they drug their feet when they knew he was coming this way. Dutch was admit they weren’t running from the man, just avoiding a fight they weren’t ready for, and Hosea agreed, even if he knew that running was what they were doing. Hosea wasn’t about to head off into some revenge mission and risk leaving the youths without stability again.

The fire was high in the sky with several of the fish that the boys had caught earlier in the day roasting on it and Hosea had finally finished wrapping the gift he had been working on before the mess at the river had drug him away. Dutch was playing something a bit obnoxious on his gramophone when three horses came trotting up to camp, Susan barley getting a chance to fully stop her Saddler names Amos before Hazel was jumping down and running to where Hosea was, holding up a stuffed bear. “Look what John got me Papa!” she jumped onto Hosea’s lap, the man bracing for the impact. “Now Peanut can have a friend!” Peanut was a stuffed Horse Dutch had given her on her first birthday and Susan had had to patch the threadbare stuffed animal several times over the years.

“That was very nice, did you say thank you?” Hosea asked holding Hazel’s hand still so he could look at it better; it was white and would be stained in less than a week.

“Yes Papa! Didn’t I say thank you John?” she asked as the teenager came closer to the fire.

“She did.” John says sitting down on the log furthest away from Dutch, soon Arthur and Susan were joining them. Dutch gave an apology and Hazel crawled onto his lap and hugged him while Arthur and John just mumbled at him and stood up and walked over to the card table, they never knew how to react when Dutch admitted being wrong.

The rest of the night passed like normal. They ate dinner and spent the rest of the time playing cards, dominoes, horseshoes, telling stories. They gave hazel her gifts and she had beamed the brightest at Arthur who had gotten her a journal like his since she was always nicking blank pages from his. She wasn’t the budding artist that Arthur was, but she liked to color and draw. Hazel spent most of the time asking Dutch what his favorite things were and Hosea figured it had something to do with the picture she was planning on drawing for him. The night ended with all of them playing poker, Hazel on Dutch’s lap with orders to watch her father’s hands and if she saw him pocketing an ace to tell on him. Hazel just smiled when she saw Hosea do just that and she held up two fingers signaling that Dutch had two cards that had the same number on them.

Dutch carried the now six year old to bed and gave her a kiss on her forehead when he covered her up. He wondered if his and Annabelle’s child would have been a girl. He had wanted a little girl.

The following morning found just Dutch and Hazel at camp, John and Susan had gone to town to get supplies and Hosea and Arthur were going through with the homestead robbery they had been working on since they caught wind of it a few days ago. All of camp had been packed up except for the chair Dutch was sitting on. As soon as Susan and John got back they were going to head out, Hosea and Arthur would meet them on the road. Hazel was laying on the ground on her stomach, her face scrunched with concentration as she scribbled away in her journal, she reminded him of Arthur a lot in that moment as he watched her.

When he and Hosea set out on this journey all those years ago he was defiantly not planning on picking up three random kids or either of them to fall in love. Bessie hadn’t been exactly straight when Hosea caught sight of her, but she wasn’t quite the outlaw that Hosea was, and it had been a rocky relationship, but they had made it all work, if Bessie wouldn’t have been as old as she was when she had Hazel she probably would have made it.

Annabelle had been running from a group of angry ranch hands when they found her in a cabin they were planning on using since Arthur decided he was going to try and get better that jumping onto his horse and got a kick in the shoulder for his trouble. They had all hit it off, Dutch falling for the woman faster than he was willing to admit. When she told him she was pregnant, it was a surprise since they tried to be careful, knowing a child was the last thing they needed, but it wasn’t totally unwelcomed. Dutch had given her a ring the next town and they were going to get married. Then Dutch refused to let James O’Driscoll kill a child they had found hiding in a train car, shot the man instead, putting an end to the already strained relationship he had with Colm. And a week later Dutch and Hosea had ridden back to camp and found Annabelle in camp, beaten and dying. Susan and the kids had been a town over putting on a show to get them jobs at a ranch for the winter.

Dutch would never get to hold the child they were both so excited about and when he had put Annabelle in the ground he grabbed Hosea and Arthur and set Colm’s camp ablaze, killing anyone he saw, but he didn’t get to kill the man that had killed Annabelle.

A soft tug at his sleeve had his break out of his thoughts, and he noticed the wetness on his cheeks. He looked up at the serious face of the little girl who always sent his mind in the direction of sorrow because she was a symbol of something he would never get to have of his own. Dutch pulled the little girl up on his lap and gave her a small smile. “What’s up Hazelnut?” he said, using the nickname he had given her the day she was born, she had been so small and had a light tone to her skin.

“I drawed this for you.” She says handing him the ripped paper from her new journal, Dutch looked at the drawing that had six stick figured on the green grass and four stick figures with wings in the blue sky. “Papa said Aunty Anna is in heaven with my momma and Arthur’s and John’s. He said they are always watching us. This one is Aunty Anna.” She said pointing to the second one, “that one is Momma,” pointing to the one first one, “and those are Arthur and John’s mommas.” She finishes.

“Are these all of us?” Dutch asks with a smile when he saw the one that had to be him since it had black hair and a very large watch on the vest.

“Yep, and that’s Copper.” She says pointing at a brown blob that Dutch thought was a rock.

“Thank you, I’ll always keep this.” Dutch says giving the girl a hug and folding the picture up and putting it into his pocket.

“I love you Uncle Dutch.” She says snuggling in his arms as her hand plays with the gold of his pocket watch that hung on his vest.

“I love you too Hazelnut, very much.”

************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************  
1890

* Journal*  
May 17th, 1890  
I wonder if my birthday month is cursed or something. Momma died, Aunty Anna was killed, Uncle Dutch got real sick, and now Arthur and Mary have broken up. I don’t really care about that last bit, but I don’t like seeing Arthur so sad. Papa says it will pass and Arthur will move on, but I’m annoyed that he’s so quiet all the time. I asked dad if we could just move my birthday since no one really seems in the mood to celebrate, but it won’t happen and even now I can hear Mr. Pearson fussing over the new spit that was bought a few days ago. Apparently it’s different than others because he is having a hard time with it. Or maybe Uncle dropped it a few times when he brought it back to camp, who knows.

We’re still in northern Montana, but we won’t be here too much longer since Uncle Dutch has his eye on that bank and obviously once they hit it we will have to go elsewhere. This sucks because I really like it here, especially now that it has gotten warmer and we can actually doings other than sit in camp. I think that they are up to six banks now, and we can’t really hang around anymore like when they hit banks in the past. I know that Uncle Dutch can’t really been seen quite as much since the price on his head is getting bigger, the last poster I took said $2,000.00 and so far he is still worth more than the ones I saw for dad and Arthur. I think next time I see a poster with any of their faces on them I am going to take it.

John has been driving everyone a little nuts since almost everyone chance he gets trying to talk Uncle Dutch and Hosea into letting him tag along with them on jobs. I hope they let him go soon, one so he will shut up, and also so I can use it for an argument point for when I start asking them to go with them. Now that I’ve hit the “double digits” as Uncle says, I hope I can start going out with them as well. The two jobs I’ve been one I don’t think really counts since all I did was stand there with John and hold the horses. And that one time I helped John rob a store, that got the both of us in trouble and the few bucks we had walked away with were taken away from us.

I feel like when I write I ramble on a bit when I write, but Arthur says that’s the point of having a journal, to just get all the words from your head on the paper. Sometimes I wish my journal looked like his, but I’m never going to be that big of a drawer, and when I do they don’t look as good as his, so why try. But I guess--, *END JOURNAL*

“Hazel!”

The ten year old looked up at the sound of her name and looked down from the branch she was perched in, ducking back when a rock flew past her head and he names was called again.

“What the hell John!” she yelled, popping her head out again.

“Get down here, Miss Grimshaw wants you!” John yells back up at her, tossing another rock in his hands. Hazel closed her journal and tucked the pencil in her messy bun and made her way down the tree.

“What does she want? I did all my chores.” She says as she drops to her feet in front of her brother.

“I don’t know, I’m just the messenger. Let’s go.” He says grabbing Hazel’s arm, Hazel digs her feet into the ground and refuses to budge.

“Let go of me, I’m a big girl John, I don’t need a baby-sitter!”

“Damn it Hazel, stop being a brat and let’s go.” John says moving behind the girl and trying to push her forward. Hazel spins around and pushes John away from her.

“Stop being such a jerk! Just because you’re moody doesn’t mean the rest of us are. Leave me alone!” Hazel yells as she tries to walk away, only for a rock to bounce off her back. The blonde girl spins back around and runs full force at John, knocking him back a few steps, soon the two kids are wrestling on the ground, fists and legs flying as they shout their displeasure for all to hear.

“I swear I am going to tie the both of you to a tree if you don’t stop this moment!” a loud shout came from behind the scuffle and Hazel felt herself being pulled off John and John was yanked to his feet as well, they stop struggling to find Hosea, Dutch, and Arthur had interrupted their argument. Hosea holding Hazel, Arthur holding John, and Dutch giving them both a stern dressing down as he stood between the two. “Can’t leave you two alone for five minutes and you’re at each other’s throats! The past month it’s been like this and I am sick of it! You two are family and you will not act like this anymore, do you both understand me!” neither of them answer, Hosea gives Hazel a light slap to the back of her head while Arthur pulls on John’s ear. Both then mumble an answer to Dutch’s questions and they are both shoved away from the people that were holding them back.

“Say you’re both sorry, then Hazel get back to camp, John, you and Arthur go to town, you have business.” Hosea says as she stomps away from the children. He was as sick of the tempers as Dutch was. John and Hazel hadn’t been as close to each other as they both were with Arthur, but now that Arthur was away from camp more and more with Eliza and the baby or on jobs they had lost their older brother and were having to deal with each other more directly. And John being 17 going on 30 was not helping matters. Hosea sits roughly down at the fire across from Dutch and they both look at each other and shake their heads.

“What the hell has gotten into those two?” Dutch asks watching his sons ride off and Hazel stomp over to where Miss Grimshaw hands her a stack of shirts to mend. She might not be amazing at sewing, but she was much better than she was at six.

“I think Arthur being gone so much and John being more moody than normal is a part. Hazel isn’t used to being left alone so much and John is a teenager who feels like he always has to match up to Arthur. Just kids being kids, hopefully they will get back to getting along, or we might have to tie them up until they at least pretend they still like each other.” Hosea says as he rubs his hands over his eyes, feeling a headache from the yelling.

“Maybe we should have another, even them out.” Dutch says with a laugh.

“I don’t want another teenager Dutch, we’re gonna be lucky if we get through John and Hazel being this close in age.” Hosea smiles back and then rolls his eyes as Miss Grimshaw is soon stomping over to Hazel and taking the clothes from her and pointing to where Mr. Pearson, the washed out navy man who Dutch had found in the gutter of some failing town, who was now the camp cook, Hazel didn’t grump as loud when she was helping him. They seemed to get on well enough too, the man loved to tell stories of his life on the sea and Hazel had always been a fish at heart.

“So little lady, what were you and John fighting about this time?” the man asks as he drops part of the wild game on the slab in front of her.

“He was being a jerk, kept tossing rocks at me and shoving me. I swear he needs to lock himself in an outhouse until he starts acting like my brother again.” Hazel grumps as she chops up the vegetables and herbs.

“He’s acting like most 17-year-olds I knew, I’m sure even Arthur acted like that-.”

“Arthur was never a self-centered brat! Arthur loves me, even then he did. John just acts like I’m an inconvenience in his life. Not my fault papa and Uncle Dutch think that I’m a five year old who can’t do anything alone.”

“I’m sure John loves you too, but he’s dealing with a lot ya know, with Arthur being gone all the time he has a lot more responsibilities that he hasn’t had before.”

“Well I’m not too happy with Arthur either. Both of them just need to leave me alone. And you need to stop acting like a know-it all housewife Mr. Pearson, you don’t know anything.” Hazel slams the knife down and storms away from camp. Hosea just looks at Dutch after the outburst.

“You still want another?” Hosea smiles when Dutch quickly shakes his head no. Neither man really knowing how to help a young girl. Hosea moves to stand up and follow his daughter, but Susan motions him to stay put as she walks after where the young girl had fled.

Hazel leaned against a tree that was just outside of camp and wiped her eyes and wrapped her arms around herself. She stiffened when she heard steps getting closer to her spot. “No offense pops but I’m not really in the mood to talk about it.” She says angrily.

“Well it’s a good think I’m not your father because I don’t care what kind of mood you are in.” Susan says as she stops right behind the girl, “and if I ever hear you say anything that disrespectful about your father again you’re going to be doing nothing but sitting on a sore backside with all the laundry at your feet do you understand me young lady?” Susan crosses her arms and gives the girl a scalding look, slightly pleased as the angry preteen wilts under the onslaught of the older woman.

“I’m sorry Miss Grimshaw.” She says weakly.

“That’s better, I know for a fact you were raised better than that, and you were raised to know better than to throw knifes and walk off in a huff.”

“I didn’t throw-,” Hazel, started, but stopped full force at the look in Miss Grimshaw’s eyes.

“Do you want to tell me what has been going through your head these last few weeks? You’re acting like an animal and fighting with everyone, especially John any chance you get, slacking on your chores, going off by yourself all the time. It’s not like you and I really would like Hazel Matthews back before she gets herself in some deep trouble.”

The two stood in silence, both of them with arms crossed, but Hazel didn’t have the ability to just stand and stare in silence, soon she let out a sigh and dropped her arms into her pockets and kicked at the dirt. “I’m really sorry, I just…..I just miss how things were.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…..Arthur is always gone now, he doesn’t have time for me, now John is acting like he’s my boss and not my brother. Like he cares more about telling me what to do than showing me like he used to, and Dad and Uncle Dutch are always gone too, always another job to do or score to settle, and I’m stuck here. I wanna be out there, helping out or something other than fixing clothes.”

“Arthur is a father now Hazel, he has responsibilities, a son and a woman that need him, and he is needed just as bad here. He’s has more on his shoulders than I think you realize, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you any less. And John is doing what he thinks is best, he treats you like Arthur treated him because that was what he needed when John was brought here-,”

“But I don’t need what John did!” Hazel loudly interrupts, “I always had papa and Uncle Dutch, I don’t need another boss, I need my friend back, I just need John, the way he used to be.” Hazel angrily wipes more tears from her eyes and wraps her arms back around her; Susan soon wraps her arms around the child and pulls her close to her chest.

“My sweet girl, gowning up isn’t easy. One day you’ll understand. I know it’s hard, but we all still love you. Yes the boys are busy, yes your father and Dutch have been gone more than normal, but there is more of us now, we need more people out there getting us money and helping those that needed it.”

“It’s not fair; I just want things to be like they were before. I miss everyone.” Hazel sniffles from where she is squeezed in Susan’s grip.

“Things aren’t all different girl; we’re all here for your birthday aren’t we? Just like we always are.”

Hazel just nods but stays buried in Susan’s hold. Susan doesn’t let the girl go she remembers what it was like at 10, being the only girl in a sea of men and boys and watching everyone around her grow up and change while the world didn’t seem to move for her. Susan also remembers what it was like when her world did change, and how it rocked her who perspective on life. Hazel would never be without someone who loved her, and soon Hazel would be big enough to join in on these “things” that everyone else was doing that she wasn’t able to. And Hazel’s hurts wouldn’t be fixed with a strong hold and a few tears.

Soon Hazel’s tears stopped and they headed back to camp and Hazel apologized to Pearson and resumed her post at his side and Susan smiled at Dutch and Hosea as she walked by them, muttering something about Hazel missing the boys before she was out of ear shot. Hosea was glad he wasn’t totally off on his intuition, and decided that tomorrow he would send the kids off on a hunt or something, just the three of them like old times. They were all growing up, Arthur had already grown far outside the “kid range” but he was still Hosea’s son and would always be his kid. Hosea wished he could turn the clock back a few years and lead a simpler life than what they were now.

But time marches on and soon the sun was sitting low in the sky, Hosea was playing poker with Pearson and Hazel, not really trying to win, but he was still beating the pants off them both, even though Hazel was getting harder to read, she had been taught to play by so many different people that she had no one tell like some of the others in camp. Hosea folded when he looked at a 10 and a 5 in his hand and nothing to fill it in what had dropped in the river yet, he knew Hazel had an ace in her hand and there was one on the table as well. But the game was interrupted when the sounds of horses broke the gently sounds in camp and three horses came through the trees. Hosea smiled at Hazel’s confused look. He stood up and motioned for her to follow. Arthur and John hopped down from their horses and tied Boadicea and Old Boy to the posts, Arthur gripping the leather reigns of the very large grey horse with a black mane and tail.

“Happy Birthday!” the whole camp said as Arthur placed the reigns in Hazel’s hand, her eyes bulging out of their sockets.

“He’s an Ardennes war horse, a bit big, but you’ll grow into him and he isn’t skittish so you won’t have to worry ‘bout him bucking you off none.” Arthur says with a smile, laughing at the girls still open mouth expression.

“He’s mine? Like all mine?” Hazel asks, not taking her eyes off the horse.

“Sure, Hosea and I decided you were old enough and strong enough to have your own, so we all pitched in, who camp, new horse, tact, and grooming supplies.”

Hazel dropped the reigns and jumped into Arthur’s arms and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Thank you! Thank you so much!” She tries not to cry, but as Arthur wraps his arms around her she can’t help it, just enjoying her big brother holding her again. Soon she lets go and makes her rounds, thanking them all, and her last stop is John who strode off while she was hugging everyone else. “Hey, I’m sorry about earlier, and I wanted to thank you, ya know, for the horse.”

“Didn’t do much, only had a few bucks, it was Arthur’s idea.”

“But you still helped; you didn’t have too, not after I’ve been so horrible to you lately.”

“Well, I haven’t been much better.” John finally says looking at Hazel since he rode back to camp, “I’m sorry for pushing you, and for all the fighting, we didn’t used to do it this much did we?”

“No, but Miss Grimshaw kinda explained it to me.” Hazel wraps her arms around John’s middle. “I love you John.”

“I love you too kid.”

Hazel’s 10th birthday was very similar to the past birthdays, they all ate in fine style, and soon the camp was filled with loud singing and fake fights as dominoes and horseshoe games were played. Arthur, John, and Hazel took on Dutch, Hosea, and Uncle in a shoot completion around midnight and everything thinks it’s because drinks had been flowing and one team had Uncle on it that the kids were able to win, since only John and Arthur were great shots, Hazel was still learning. But somehow the youths won and that put the elders on clean up duty the following morning.

Once everyone had settled down beside the fire and Uncle brought out his banjo did the atmosphere calm down, they were just a family tonight, not outlaws, not grown men with responsibilities or moody teenagers, just a family that was celebrating another year together. And as Hosea looked at the bottle of whiskey he opened every year in honor of Bessie, he was glad that so far his prediction of better Mays was still coming true. There had been fights and disagreements on all of their parts, but they were still a family, and Hosea couldn’t be prouder of them all.


	2. Teenage Dreams

1893

*Journal*

May 17th 1893

Copper passed in the night. We all knew it was coming, between the snake bite and the harsh winter he was never really the same dog. As sad as I think we all are about losing Copper, it hurts to see Arthur so upset. He also hasn’t really been the same since Eliza was murdered a few years back. Not that I really blame him for being like this, I can only imagine what it must be like. I watched Uncle Dutch after Aunt Annabel died, and everyone says father was never the same after my mother’s passing either, so I guess it makes sense that Arthur isn’t the same as he used to be.   
Arthur asked to be left alone to bury Copper, and we all agreed, he hasn’t been back to camp for a few hours, but Uncle Dutch has basically ordered us all to give him his space today. Even he is sad at the dog's passing, but once you have lost about six pars of boots to an animal and you still share food with it, there must be some kind of affection there.   
Not everyone around camp is as sad as we are, a few months ago Dutch brought in this fairly tall and loud man named Bill Williamson who he found while he was scouting a lead at the undertakers. A corrupt man who liked to overcharge for his services and pocket most of the money grieving families give him. Uncle Dutch does like his strays, but it’s a good thing since that is how our group even came to be. The papers are calling us the Van Der Linde Gang since Dutch has a tendency to stick out and dad is more about low key cons and being subtle. The last Hosea Matthews Wanted Poster I saw didn’t even look like him, but I still have it pinned to the side of my tent. Dad just seems grateful that now his strays are adults because I don’t think they could handle any more teenagers.  
Another weird change to the group dynamic is Arthur has taken on this weird role as Uncle Dutch’s strong arm, almost like an enforcer. Arthur is an amazing shot and I wish that I was as good as him, but all the years of him being my teacher I’m not too shabby. Right now I just try and out shoot John, I haven’t beaten him yet, but I think one day I will be able to. I do not know how happy dad is about Arthur’s new role, Arthur always likes to act dumb but we all know better, Dad especially tries to impress on Arthur that he is not as stupid as he likes to act. My brother is not all brawn with no brain.  
I think in a few days I’ll ask Arthur to go on a ride, he has a new horse Boadecia and she is such a sweet but very skittish horse. Arthur saved her from a drunk that decided that she needed to be beat after she refused to allow them to go close to a bear cave that was not far from the road. Arthur left the man tied to a tree and came back to camp with a new horse, and a week later he sold his Saddler and bought a new saddle. Bo and Goliath get alone fairly well, most of the horses are very sweet, but I think I will always give The Count a wide berth since he’s such a diva with a short temper.   
At this moment we are still in the boothill of Missouri, I don’t have too many complaints except the weather is never the same longer than five minutes it seems, I miss being south where it is always warm, even in the winter it’s not too bad, but we also survived a Michigan winter a few years back, it takes a lot to top that. But we seem to be trying to stick to warmer weather; it’s easier on the whole group, but it’s very good for dad. He’s getting a bit up there in years and I often wonder just how many winters he can stand.   
But our time here has been fairly beneficial, no banks in this area yet, but there is this large stage company that has been prickling Uncle Dutch’s philosophy and today we are going to hit a fairly large 6 couch train that is carrying all sorts of things. I actually get to go on this job and I cannot wait. We’ve been rehearsing for the past few weeks about this. Father going over all the meet up points for various scenarios, quizzing me on how I would find the group again if we are separated, all the list goes on. I’m to excited to get to even go on a job with them that I would ride with a dead bird on my head if they asked me to.   
*End journal*

“Hazel!” a loud, low pitched voice calls from the ground below from where the teenager sits perched in a tree, the person obviously just knowing her general location and just yelling so he wouldn’t have to search.   
“What?” Hazel answers back, closing the journal and shoving it in the worn leather satchel, it used to be Arthur’s and there has been some minor repair work on it. Hazel jumped from her spot in the tree right as Bill walked past it, hitting the ground and causing the older man to jump.   
“Damn it, I’m going to tie a damn bell around your neck!” He says as he spins around and glares at the laughing girl.   
“Do you need something or just passing by?” She says crossing her arms.   
“Hosea says it’s time to go.” Bill says pointing back towards the camp.

Hazel’s face breaks into a large grin and she quickly ran around Bill towards camp. She skidded to a stop when she broke into the edge of camp and her eyes locked on where her father and Uncle looked to be having a fairly heated discussion. It was nothing new, the two of them getting a bit heated with each other before a job, this one was a fairly bigger stage job than they normally took on, which is why she was allowed to go this time. She just hoped that Uncle Dutch wouldn’t back down on his choice to let her go, even though Hosea was not as happy about it as she was.

The plan was fairly straight forward, Hosea and Uncle Dutch at the very front, Hazel and John in the middle, and Arthur and Bill at the end. Hazel was under strict orders to not say a word and to not actually shoot her gun. She had been drilled all week about the job, what she was going to do, where they were going to meet up if they were separated, what she was to do and not do if she was caught, and so on. Hosea believed in her being prepared even though Dutch thought it was all just a bit much for a stage job. But if it meant she was finally going to get to go on a real job Hazel would wear a dead chicken on her head.

Hazel stood and adjusted the length of her suspenders while she tried to figure out what they were saying, the girl jumping a bit when a large hand landed on her shoulder. “Are you excited?” Arthur said looking at her.   
“Yes! I’m finally going on a real job and actually earning my keep today.”  
“You always earn your keep, all the work you do around camp, keeping us fed and not looking like the homeless group of degenerates that we are.”   
“I know, but I don’t want anyone thinking I’m just here because Hosea is my dad. I want to prove that I belong here.”  
“Bill been running his mouth again?” Arthur asks with a smile. Since Hazel was old enough to actually understand how the camp run she had gotten it in her head that everyone just assumed that she was the camp princess who did no real work. All the times she had to stay behind while Arthur or John went out and did things. Normal bitterness at being the youngest, the last do to anything. Hazel’s biggest contribution to camp was her hunting, but she wanted to do more.   
“That’s not the point, just let me enjoy this Arthur.”   
“Well, if you’re gonna be a stage robber you gotta look the part.” Arthur pulled a small brown package from his satchel. “I know we never give gifts this early, but you could use it more now than later.”

Hazel takes the package from Arthur and pulls the paper back to reveal a blue and purple striped bandana. The teen lets the paper fall to the ground and wraps the cloth around her face, taking a few tries since she kept knotting her hair in the cloth. “How do I look?”  
“Absolutely terrifying.” Arthur says reaching out an straightening the cloth. “Just one look at you and everyone on the stage will surrender without us even having to shoot a gun.”  
“I hope none of us will have to fire our guns, son.” Dutch says as he walks over to where they were standing, Hazel looks over towards her father who is pouring another cup of coffee. Dutch chuckles when he sees Hazel’s bandana. “You look like a tiny little outlaw Hazelnut. Wish Susan’s camera still worked; go pull this mess out of your face.” He says tugging on her hair. “As soon as you get back and-,” Dutch raises his voice and looks in the direction of where John was napping against a tree. “-as soon as John decides he’s done lazing about-,” John jumps and scrambles to his feet. “-we can head out.” Dutch smiles as the youngest members of his group scramble to do as they were told; John is the last on his horse since he wasn’t able to find his bandana in the mess that was his side of the tent.

It’s seems like a longer ride to the ambush spot now that it was actually happening. Probably just nerves though. They took off into the woods and set up for the stages. Hazel was trying not to show her nerves, she was still excited but now bit worried. Some past stage hits had ended badly, her father took a bullet to the shoulder once, Arthur a knife slash to his chin, Dutch had broken his arm falling off a stage he had jumped on and missed, so much could go wrong, but they always walked away with money and all the injuries had healed. Hazel shook her head, they would be fine. If nothing else she knew what to do regardless of how this played out. “Hazel,” Hosea’s voice pulled her completely away from her thoughts. “Remember, you do everything we say, no questions and no hesitations, understand?”  
“Yes dad.” She says looking right at him and sounding more serious that she had in her life.   
“Relax Old Girl.” Dutch says, reaching over and patting Hosea’s shoulder. “Hazelnut is going to be great. She’s learned from the best and all she has to do today is not fall off that mammoth of a horse you decided she needed to have.” Hazel smiles at Dutch’s words and pats Goliath’s neck.  
“I promise I won’t forget the plan and I’ll do everything I’m told.”  
“Good girl.” Dutch says as he rights himself on his horse. “After this job we’re going to have the biggest party we’re ever had.” 

A few more minutes pass and Hazel grips Goliath’s reigns in her left hand and the large horse shifts under her weight and flicks his tail. The sound of a match being struck filled the air and Hazel looked towards John who was puffing on another cigarette, hazel swore he smoked more than the rest of them put together. He pulls a card out of the empty box and flips it in his hand and shook his head and looked at Hazel. “Do you need the bear? I already have this one.” Hazel nods her head and takes the card she wasn’t sure if she had or not, and put it in her satchel.   
“Really?” Arthur says, sounding annoyed from where he sat behind them. “In case you two were not aware we have a stage to rob.”  
“Not here yet.” John says with a shrug as he pulls another drag from his cigarette.   
“Enough boys or I’ll make you too be buddies on this job.” Hosea says from the front, not looking back at them as he checks over his rifle.   
“We never should have brought kids Old Girl, this would be much easier.” Dutch says as he looks through his binoculars.  
“Hey!” Bill and Hazel say in protest.   
“Alright, straighten up,” Dutch puts his binoculars away and pulls out his gun and pulls up his red bandana, “here it comes.”  
The whole demeanor of the group suddenly changes as we all follow Dutch’s lead and pull up our bandanas and weapons from holsters. John sat up straighter in his saddle and tossed his half smoked cigarette to the ground. Hazel pulls her hair up tighter and takes a deep breath. “Remember, stick to the plan, no casualties if it can be avoided, lets ride!” Dutch says as he kicks The Count into motion. 

*Camp* 

Hazel couldn’t stop looking at the $100.00 that was in her hand later on that night. That money kept her distracted as Susan wrapped her upper arm, her first job resulted in her first on the job injury, a graze to her left upper arm, Bill also lost his hat and he was already antsy to get to town to buy himself another one. All in all not a bad job, we all had money, the camp had money, and tomorrow we would go into town and donate it to a church that gave out free food and clothes. My injury wasn’t that bad, but Susan was not happy with it at all. ranting about how all her hard work to get Hazel not to act like a man was down the drain if Hosea and Dutch allowed her to do “stupid shit like that.” The teen just smiled and kept her mouth shut, she was just mad that the girl had gotten hurt. “Keep this wrapped and no rough housing with the boys until the stitches come out, and don’t you even think that this is going to get you out of your chores.”  
“Yes miss.” Hazel says as she pulls her sleeve down and hops off the back of the wagon and sets the bottle of whiskey she was given for the pain down. Hazel didn’t think she would ever get used to the taste of the vile liquid, but she didn’t mind the taste of beer as much, it was her birthday, she’d at least get a few bottles before the night was over. She walked over to the camp fire where the rest of the group was waiting for the food to cook and she sat down beside her father and gave him a smile.   
“You all patched up?” Hosea said  
“Yeah, my ears hurt more than my arm, Miss Grimshaw is a little mad.”  
“Susan’s just worried , she thinks you’re too young to go out on jobs with us.”  
“Are you still gonna let me? Go out with you I mean, I did everything I was told.”  
“I know, but right now we have nothing to do, so when the next job comes up Dutch and I will talk. You’re going to have plenty of chances to rob stages. Your outlaw career is just beginning. “Hosea ruffles his daughter’s hair and hands her a beer. “Right now, we are going to eat, drink, and celebrate your birthday and a job well done!” Hosea raises her voice and hit bottle of alcohol. Soon we’re all drinking to Hosea’s statement, eating the wild game, and celebrating. This party is more rowdy than in years past. The alcohol flows more freely, the songs are louder, Bill and Uncle have arm wrestling matches, and the night ends with all of us playing poker, and Hazel end the night with $150.00. She finally beat Hosea, it was probably because he was tipsy, but Hazel wasn’t going to question it and just enjoy her good fortunes. 

Hazel wonders what in the world she was going to do with the most money she had ever had in my life.  
**********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

1896

Hazel, John, and Sean all stand knee deep in the rushing river, surveying the dead bodies, the flipped stage, and a few dead horses. Hazel is shaking and nervously biting at her lip as she pulls the bandana off her face and holds it against the gash on her forehead that was sending rivulets of blood down her face. This was not how this was supposed to end, and she had a horrible feeling that even though the three of them were standing, they wouldn’t be when word got back to camp. “Holy hell!” a thick Irish accent cuts the tension in the air as Sean shakes his wet hat in the air trying to dry it a little. John quickly tells Sean to lower his voice and help him search the bodies and sends Hazel to the stage to get the main point of this whole mess in the first place, payroll for a railroad company.   
“We’re so dead.” Hazel says as she hands all the money to John, unsure if they should split it like they normally do or just hand it all to Dutch and grovel to not be destroyed. They had been told they were not allowed to do this job, or rather, Hazel had been told no, so she recruited her friends and went anyway. John seems to be limping a little as he walks out of the river counting the money. None of them we’re looking notch, but you rarely walked away from flipping a stage without a few bumps and bruises.  
“Maybe not.” He says, “This is a fairly good take, and we’re not dead.”  
“Why did Dutch not want us doing this in the first place, this was fun!” Sean says walking over to the other two, his voice as loud as it had been before. Sean had a loud personality and a louder mouth that Hazel normally would have enjoyed, but she was too worried about the coming blow back from this to share in the redhead’s glee.   
“Because that stage company has a tendency to hire more guards that rumor has it, and he was right. That’s a lot of people we just had to kill.” Hazel says looking at the six or seven bodies that were slowly making their way down the river with the current.  
“It was them or us, and since we’re all alive-,”  
“That remains to be seen.”  
At the new voice the three outlaws turned towards the other side of the river and Hazel felt her stomach go into knots when she saw Arthur and Javier across the river. She wants the water to drag her downstream too. Arthur was wearing his disapproving big brother scowl and she knew that the rest of her day was going to be filled with various versions of the same lecture, and that Arthur would be the first one on that list. “Now get on your horses and get your asses over here.” Arthur then says something to Javier who turns Boaz around and rides off, probably towards camp to rat us out.  
John and Sean let out loud whistles and Hazel kept her mouth closed knowing Goliath would follow Old Boy anywhere. Hazel looked at John and whispered to him, “One a scale of 1 – 10 how dead are we?”  
“An eleven sounds about right.” He says as the three climbed on the horses and made their way over to Arthur who scolded them the whole way back to camp after demanding all the money from their score, which John handed over without complaint. John and Arthur hadn’t been getting along much lately, John not excepting his role as Jack’s father and Arthur not wanting to see John toss away something that was taken from him. Even Sean decided to keep his mouth shut, which was rare for him. This would be his first time under fire from the gang since he joined around 4 months ago. He was 19 and we hit it off fairly quickly, being close to the same age and his personality was infectious and very different than what I was used too, again probably helped by how close in age we were. Hazel’s wrist was burning and she winced when she tried to move it, probably very sore from the kickback of the sawed off that she wasn’t used to yet, a birthday gift she had bought this year. Arthur handed her his bandana when the purple and blue fabric was soaked and making more of a mess than it was helping. “This is why you idiots were told no.” he grumbles again.   
Arthur herded the three of us back to camp and Hazel thought if he would have had a whip he would have used it, but as nervous as her brother was making her, she was more worried about when they made it back to camp. All three of us were going to be in trouble, not only for not listening but for the mess we had created. Hosea and Karen had been working some fairly complex scam with some slime ball that ran moonshine and women for the pleasure market. Our little stage adventure ended with a gun fight about five miles outside town since we were not able to stop it where we had originally planned on. Yep, Hazel says closing her eyes, they were dead.   
Camp came into view and Hazel swallowed hard when she sees her father and Dutch standing by the hitching posts with their arms crossed and stone cold expressions on their faces. Hazel takes as long as possible to get off her horse, and only the knowledge that it would be worse for her if she ran got her feet on the ground. “I’ll brush him down chica,” Javier says as he stands behind her and hands her him bandana to replace Arthur’s. “They’re mad but they own kill you.”  
“Dad looks pretty mad.” Hazel says glancing over her shoulder and seeing her father’s expression and flashing eyes. Dutch was walking with John and Sean, his hands holding both of them by their arms, towards where Strauss was waiting with his medical supplies.  
“It will be worse the longer you delay. Go on now.”  
Hazel gives Javier a small smile and walks over towards her father who doesn’t say a word but gives her a quick up and down check before pointing to where Miss Grimshaw is standing at the end of the medical wagon. John and Sean are shirtless and scrubbing their muddy skin as Strauss checks on John’s leg. Hazel thinks the only reason Miss Grimshaw doesn’t smack the back of her head as she walks by is because of how pathetic she must look. “Stip.” The mother hen says as she hangs a blanket on the rope that normally acts as a clothes line so she can look the injured woman over without flashing the whole camp. Hazel would normally laugh at this considering how many times all of them have seen the rest naked, it happened in close quarters. But she just tugged her suspenders over her shoulders, again wincing at the pain in her wrist.   
“You and those idiots flipped a stage, broken bones, cuts, internal bleeding, what were you thinking?” She says flipping Hazel’s hat off her head and pulling her long hair into a bun so it would be out of the way.  
“It wasn’t supposed to happen like it did.” Hazel says carefully pulling her shirt over her head and tossing it on the ground.   
“Yes, well that is what happens when you don’t listen and go off halfcocked just to prove a point. I swear Hazel Matthews if you were my child you’d have a sore backside no matter how old you are!” Susan hands Hazel and rag and as the young girl wipes away the mud and blood the older pokes at the gash in head a few moments before sighing and popping her head around the corner asking for whiskey and a needle and thread.   
Soon Hazel is stitched and waiting for Karen to bring her clean clothes as Susan wraps the last bit of bandage around her wrist. “You’re smarter than this young lady. I better not have to clean up after a mess like this again, understood?”  
“Yes miss.”  
A blue dress is tossed over the blanket and I pull it over my head and Susan helps me comb my hair out because if I didn’t do anything about it now it would be a tangled mess in the morning. “If you won’t let me cut this mess, at least let me trim it up a little.” She says pulling a stick from it.   
“I need to learn how to braid it, would help.”   
“You’re free from me; your father is waiting for you.”  
When Hazel walks out from behind the blanket she looks around for John and Sean, the redhead easy to spot where he pouts under a tree, four saddles on the ground beside him and one in his lap, I couldn’t see any bandages so either they were all under his clothes or he just had minor injuries, Sean always seemed to be oddly lucky when it came to things like this, things that should beat the crap out of him just leaves him smiling. John was standing just inside of Dutch’s tent, obviously still getting his dressing down from the man who, like Arthur, wasn’t completely understanding on John’s point of view on the one year old boy that had most of the camp wrapped around his little fingers. Hazel didn’t completely agree with John’s actions, but I could also see it from his view point. He and Abigail had only been exclusive for a month when she announced she was pregnant, and in reality Jack could belong to almost any of the men in the camp, minus the obvious of course.   
The teenager spots her father reading at the table where they normally played dominos and she slowly made her way over to him. “Sit.” He says shortly, kicking a stool out with his foot, she was going to sit across from him for this talk; it showed how much trouble she was really in. The girl tugs a bit at the tight bandage as she sits down. “Is it broken?”  
“Yes sir.” Hazel mumbles, her eyes not leaving the scratched and wore table top.  
“No, no young lady. You think you’re old enough and smart enough to know whats right, that you know better than people who have been on this earth just a bit longer than you. Why start showing respect now?”  
“Dad I didn’t mean-,”  
“I know you didn’t mean for this to happen, but the fact remains that if you would have listened to me in the first place than this wouldn’t have happened. Not only did you put yourself in danger, you put the whole camp in jeopardy. What if John would have been killed? He has a son now, and both he and Sean help bring in money, work jobs, what if they would have been killed, captured, hurt worse than they are now. You were told no for a reason. But no, you let your pride and your own short sightedness overrule your brain and you went off anyway. “ Hosea never yelled and most of the time Hazel appreciated that he had a cooler head than Uncle Dutch, but right now Hazel wished he would yell, it would be easier to listen to than his calm but disappointment filled voice.   
“I swear you and Arthur are cut from the same self-deprecation cloth. Your worth is not contingent on what you do for the camp, how much money you bring in. We told Arthur not to do a stage when he was about your age, and he did it anyway and ended up with a hole in his leg for his trouble. I wish your job hadn’t come with a payday, then you’d feel even more like an idiot that you already do. But I’m telling you right now Hazel, if you ever hit something after I or Dutch or even Arthur tell you no, what happening to you right now will seem like a field day. Do you understand me?”  
“Yes dad.” Hazel says wiping at the tears in her eyes. She hadn’t raised her gaze from the table, but could feel her father’s eyes boring holes in the top of her head.   
“What possessed you to do such a stupid thing?” He asks, his voice going a little softer.  
“I just wanted to help, we have so many new people, Jack, I just…..wanted…..I just wanted to prove once and for all that I can help like John and Arthur does.”  
“And don’t you think that’s a little selfish of you? Nobody here things that you do not help, yet you’re always trying to get validation with everything you do. You’re like Bill when he catches a few fish and expects days of praise for his work. We’re a family; we all do equal work and as long as we have roofs over our heads and food in our bellies that should be enough.”  
Hazel looks up from the table at her father and nods her head. “I really am sorry dad. I promise I won’t do something like this again.” Hosea just smiles and reaches over and takes her good hand.   
“Yes you will, because you’re a teenager and that’s how life works. But remember this in the future, how you feel right now next time a job comes up that there is even a hint of unease about. I’d rather miss an easy payday than burry you.” Hazel nods and then Hosea tells her what her punishment will be, and that’s to basically be Pearson’s running lackey. She will be at the chuck wagon doing anything and everything the man asks. Hazel was glad she wasn’t helping Miss Grimshaw, but after 16 years the woman decided it was best for all the clothes in the camp if Hazel stayed far away from them. Plus now with Karen, Tilly, and Mary-Beth she finally had the extra hand she needed and she wasn’t above making the boys do laundry if they came back to camp too dirty too often. Mac and Davey always came back to camp smelling like actual soap and everyone thought they spent money on actual baths in a town to avoid her wrath. Sean was on saddle duty, I was on kitchen duty, and John was on clean-up, which meant the poor man would have to clean up after the party tonight.   
With so many people the party wasn’t really a birthday party, more of an excuse to be loud and drink more than normal. Gifts were still exchanged, but they were given randomly throughout the day and often a repeat of things from the past. Dutch always gave her a book, John always money to buy her own gift, Arthur took her and helped her customize her guns, and her father always gave her a new journal. But Hazel didn’t mind, her birthday felt more like Arthur and John’s had before they hit 20 and they kinda stopped all together. Hazel was kinda looking forward to the day her birthday was just a normal day with a few gifts tossed her way, no fuss.   
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
This year the party seemed even more rowdy than normal. But there were also several new people who liked to drink. Karen, Mac, and Davey seemed to be trying to see who could empty a box of whiskey the fastest. Ever since Javier joined he had a guitar with him and Hazel had talked him into teaching her how to play, his gift to her had been a guitar of her own. So they both sat on the ground by the fire playing songs that the gang drunkenly sang along too. Hazel was nowhere as good as Javier and she didn’t know all the notes, but she did what she could but sang as loud as she could.  
The same games were played, this time Hazel found herself playing against John and Arthur rather than on their team since her and Sean had grown fairly close the last few months, it was hard to tell who was worse with John’s limp and Sean being a bit tipsy that neither team was really going a head of the other with the horseshoes and when Sean tossed one and it almost hit Dutch in the head they all four scattered. “John!” Hazel yelled when she tripped over a rope that was pinning a tent to the ground, he was the closest.  
“Come on.” He says, pulling her to her feet. “You’re a mess birthday girl.”  
“Nah, I’m just tipsy!” She says with a giggle. “Remember you’re 16th birthday? You got so drunk and Ath-Arder-Arthur tossed you in the river?”  
“I remember the cold I had a few days later.” John says shaking his head. He stops and looks at Hazel and takes both her hands in his. She was too drunk to really remember what he was going to say, but he wanted to say it anyway. “I’ll always remember you Hazel, all the fun we had when we were little. Today was just a reminder of how we can never get back to that.”  
“What are you talking about? We’ll be forgiven soon and we’ll be back out there in no time!” she said rubbing John’s long hair. “I’ll help you clean up tomorrow; I think you have the worst punishment out of all of us. Guess you’re not Uncle Dutch’s favorite anymore!” Hazel was stumbling away from John back to where the majority of the gang was gathered and dividing into teams for an epic game of tug o war as Uncle was shouting about.   
Hosea and Dutch were the captains and ended up doing a thumb war over who would get to pick first and Dutch pouted a little as Hosea won and called Arthur over with a large smile. Arthur was strong, probably the strongest they had, so he was an advantage.   
John walked over and joined in, for once he was staying sober for the party, wanting to remember every moment he could before the morning, when he would leave and would probably never be allowed back.   
Soon the camp was split in two and then a bunch of drunk or at least tipsey people tried to pull the rope over this stump first. It resulted in most of them falling over and simply letting go when the rope dug into their palms. Hazel giggled as she lost her footing and fell back, landing on Sean who wrapped his arm around her middle to keep her upright. “Easy lassie, this is treacherous ground.”  
“That’s why I got the spot in front of you, if anyone is gonna die in the dirt it’s gonna be you!”  
“Ya hurt me Hazel, here I was trying to stop you from getting all dirty and this is how you treat me!”  
“Hey, stop flirting and grab the damn rope!” Bill’s angry voice made the young couple jump apart and grab the rope again. In the end Hosea’s team won and more whiskey flowed, then one by one they all staggered to their tents and soon the camp was filled with snores and grunts.  
The sun was peaking over the edge of the land when John walked out of his tent with his bag flung over his shoulder. He had made the decision to leave a while ago, but wanted to wait until after Hazel’s birthday, give them one more year together. John wasn’t ready to be a father, he wasn’t even sure that Jack was actually his and he didn’t think it was fair that he was being pushed to be something he probably wasn’t. John also wasn’t sure if he loved Abigail in a way that would last forever. John had seen love, Dutch and Annabel had real love and from what he heard Hosea and Bessie had as well, and John just didn’t think he had it with Abigail.   
John also didn’t like living in the shadow of Arthur anymore. The man seemed to go out of his way to do things that John just didn’t want to do. John didn’t believe in Dutch’s better world as much as the rest of them seemed to, but he had learned while he was still a kid not to really question it because he would always be asked why, and John didn’t really have an answer. John also wasn’t a huge fan of all the new faces. Bill was a fool, a loud mouthed fool, Mac and Davey liked to drink and fight and cause problems. Javier was ok, just a little quiet, but Sean about drove him to drink like Karen, and John was pretty sick of Sean making eyes at Hazel too. His little sister deserved better than some drunken Irish idiot who slept with Karen more often than not.   
John needed to leave, get his head on, maybe find something new. He didn’t hate his family, but he needed breathing room. Time to grow into his own man, not who Dutch wanted him to be. He loaded Old Boy up with the last bag and as he was grabbing a few oatcakes to shove in the saddlebag he saw Hazel’s tent flap open and the girl stumble out and barf over the side of the white canvas. John shook his head and walked over to her and pulled her hair back as she emptied her belly of all the alcohol she consumed last night.   
“God, thanks John. Remind me never to drink like that again. Sean can keep his crown, it’s not worth it.” She says wiping her mouth on the back of her hand. “Getting an early start on cleaning? I said I’d help you.”  
“Nah, you go back to sleep, you throw up anymore and I’ll be on barf duty too.”  
“You look awful nice to be cleaning up bottles and plates, what are you up too?” Hazel tugs on his jacket as she speaks, John normally ran around in his union suit and jeans, this was a full shirt and vest and jacket affair he had on today.   
“Gonna run into town, be back soon, can’t be looking like a trouble maker after yesterday.” He lies, trying to lead her back to her tent.  
“Let me go with you, I need to pick up my cattleman anyways. Engravings should be done today.” Hazel pulls her arms free but freezes when she sees how loaded Old Boy is. She slowly turns and looks at John and swallows. “You’re not going to town are you?”  
“No. I’m not.”  
“So I didn’t imagine that goodbye you gave me last night then? May I ask why?”  
“I’ll let you ride out with me a little and I’ll let you know, I can’t risk staying here and anyone else waking up, especially Dutch.”  
Hazel doesn’t bother to saddle Goliath up, just pulls herself up and follows John out of camp to the main road, they slow down as John tells her everything that has been on his mind for the past several months and why he thought he needed to leave. “I really wish you wouldn’t go, I need you John. I need my big brother.” Hazel says with tears in her eyes.   
“Come on, we haven’t really acted like siblings in years, you don’t need me.”  
“I still don’t want you to go. I need you John, the group needs you.” Hazel can’t help the tears that fall from her eyes. John slides down off Old Boy and pulls Hazel down from Goliath and pulls her into a hug as she cries. John rests his head against hers and closes his eyes, this is why John had wanted to leave before anyone work up. After a few minutes Hazel pulls back and wipes her eyes. “I love you, try and write okay. And I’m gonna plan a welcome back party for you. I know you will back.”  
“I’ll write you, I promise.” John kisses the top of her head before they pull completely apart and mount onto their own horses. Hazel watches and John kicks Old Boy and disappears down the road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bye John, see ya soon.  
> Next chapter is going to be right before the gang ends up in Blackwater. So close the the actual game,


	3. Chapter 3: Falling Into Pieces

April 1898  
Hazel hid a smirk as she ducked down an alley way, pulling her bandana from her face and tucking it into her shirt. She had lifted a few shiny things from the couple that ran the local orphanage, they were shits who beat the kids and kept food from them. She and Arthur had been working the last few weeks at slowly stealing their fortune so they would no longer be able to pay for the orphanage and hopefully someone new would take it over. Hazel pulls her coat off and flips it the other way around before she ducks into the saloon and orders a beer and a bowl of soup, waiting for Arthur to show up from where he was looting the house.   
With John’s departure about a year ago Hazel had been able to step up. Arthur needed someone he could really trust out there to go with him on jobs. Dutch was having to stay away from town more often since he had a bit of a reputation now, Hosea was getting older; Bill was a hot head, and so on. Hazel wasn’t going to complain when it meant she was out and about. She enjoyed doing jobs more than anything else she was supposed to do around camp.   
Soon Arthur rides past the saloon window and Hazel slowly walks away from her table and mounts Goliath and follows Arthur out of town. All in all, they had a few valuables that would need to be sold to a fence a few towns over for their share, but the cash would find a new home in the red cash box that was laid out behind Dutch’s tent. All in all life as good.   
“Arthur, can we make a stop into town, I need to check the mail?”  
“When was the last time you even got a letter from him?” Arthur asks, trying not to sound annoyed but failing at it.  
“It’s been a while, so forgive me if I’m worried. If you would stop being angry about him leaving then you would be too. He’s still our brother Arthur.”  
“He stopped being family when he ran off in the middle of the night like a coward.”  
“It was right before dawn actually.”  
“And if you would have had a brain in your head you would have told somebody.”  
“And cause a huge fight? John wanted to leave and there was no changing his mind, all telling Dutch or dad about it would have done is make it worse than it was. I get why he left, I really do. You’re a tall man to live up too.”  
“No one was expecting him to be like me, no one in their right mind wants to be like me.”  
“That’s where you’re wrong. When you aren’t acting like a fool you’re actually very sweet.”  
“You’re spending too much time with that idiot redhead if you think I’m sweet. How about we go back to camp and you and he can go into town? You two haven’t been anywhere together in a while.”  
“I don’t like going on jobs with Sean, he really needs a few more shooting lessons and he needs to spend more time with dad learning how to be subtle.”  
“I thought you were going to the post office, not a shootout?”  
“Just answering your unspoken question as to why I didn’t ask Sean to help with this job.”  
“No, my unspoken question is why you are even with that idiot? You can do much better.”  
“I like his hat.”   
“That might be the worst reason to be with someone I have ever heard. If you’re good and don’t fight with Susan we can go into town tomorrow for the letter. But don’t hold your breath on there being one.”  
“My birthday is in a few days and even he wouldn’t leave me hanging on my birthday.”  
They took off into the woods, this new camp was at the base of a mountain well off from the road, but the road was also a cross roads and they had 5 towns to go find work in. The biggest was Appleton that had a bank that Hosea and Dutch wanted to hit so most of the group was avoiding that place as much as possible. Maryville was where they got most of the supplies and where they were having mail sent to, Hampbri, Gapsom Park, and Rianiles Point were the free for all towns that they could do anything they wanted as long as it didn’t bring the law down. Being that close to the base of a mountain they also had easy pickings when it came to hunting, overall this was an amazing place. “Sucks dad and Dutch didn’t buy that farmland; I would love to see Uncle Dutch in a pair of overalls.” Hazel says with a giggle of the image her brain supplied her.  
“I don’t think even in death Dutch would give up his fancy vests and chains. He’s the only person I know that can stand to dress that uppity in the woods.”  
“Dad’s not too far behind him, like he’s not as bad, but some of the outfits he wears.”  
“Javier is taking after the both of them now too. Did you see that vest he had on the other day?”  
“Can you imagine if Bill decided he was going to dress like that?”  
“Who goes there?!” Karen says from her spot against the tree.  
“Arthur and Hazel, surprised you’re even awake.” Arthur says shooting the blonde a smile as he rides by.  
“Very funny Arthur.” Karen rolls her eyes and Hazel shoots her a smile and tosses an apple at her as they go by, Hazel hated guard duty and knew you always got bored and eating seemed to help.   
This new camp site was bigger than some of the others and the tents weren’t right on top of each other so they looked a bit bigger than they were. Arthur and Hazel hitched the horses and Arthur said he would be back after he dropped their take off and Hazel started pulling off Goliath’s saddle to give him a brush down. “Wish we were closer to water buddy or we’d go take a bath, you need one.” She says as she pulls some sticks out of the course hair that lines the back of his legs.   
“I resent that lass.” Sean said as he walked up and wrapped his arms around Hazel’s middle. “I’m as clean as a new born babe.”  
“Have you seen a newborn baby? They are not clean, not by a long shot.”  
“I mean, after they get all the shit off it, I think lil Jack is the cleanest of all of us.”  
“I also know for a fact you are not as clean as a baby.” Hazel spins around and wipes dirt across Sean’s cheek. “See, you’re dirty.”  
“I’ll show you dirty.” He says reaching his hand into the trampled dirt and throwing some towards Hazel who ducked, but most of it landed on Goliath’s hair.  
“Hey! I just brushed him and you got him all muddy.” Hazel protests as she stands up and gives Sean a playful shove.  
“You started it, I’m just finishing it!” Sean grabs her arms and gives her a light hearted swing to the left and she loses her footing and falls to the ground.  
“Sean!” Hazel giggles, latching onto his left leg and stopping him from going anywhere before she grabs his jacket and pulls him to the ground beside her.”  
“Enough! You’re scaring the horses.” Hosea says as he walks by and fixes them with an unamused look. Hazel ducked her head and didn’t look at him; Arthur was not the only one unhappy with her current choice. When Hosea had found out Hazel was a bit worried that her father was going to shoot Sean. Hazel would admit that Sean wasn’t the best at most things, too loud and out going for subtle, his aim was a little off, and he liked to sleep and drink more than most, but he made Hazel smile. He was there for her in the days after John left and Hazel was heartbroken, missing her brother and normal running mate. Hazel had always heard girls grew up faster than boys and Sean was only 21, he still had a lot of growing up to do.   
Sean pulls himself up and grabs Hazel’s arm and pulls her to her feet as well before wrapping his arms around her and they walk away from where the horses are hitched. “How was robbing the rich folk?”  
“Same as it’s been all week. I really hope those farmers are able to buy the orphanage when this is all said and done. Arthur and I can only sneak in the back and drop food off for so long before someone notices.”  
“Morgan hit the house today right?”  
“Yep, his saddle bags looked loaded, but I don’t actually know how much money he got.”  
“Got any plans for tomorrow day?”  
“Arthur and I are going to go into town.”  
“Another job?” He asks, sounding a little jealous. “Why do all of your jobs have to involve him?”  
“Because Arthur is the best shot in the camp, and I didn’t say it was a job, going to the post office. Wanna see if John’s written me.”  
“You haven’t heard from Marston for months, what makes you think you’ll hear from him now?”  
“I don’t really think I will, I think I’m just hoping, my birthday is in a few weeks after all. I write him on his birthday.”   
“Are you sure you wanna go with Morgan? I can take you out for a job, we can hit town on our way back.”  
“What do you have in mind?”  
Sean and Hazel sit at that table that has sort of become the official poker table as Hazel pulls her guns from her holster to give it a good clean since it was rained on that morning. Sean tells her about a homestead he heard about, a hideout for a fairly small group of men who rustled cattle and sheep from surrounding farms. Sean had heard the rancher they recently hit putting up a major fuss in the bar in Hampbri. “The only place I found that fences livestock is on the other side of the river and with what they took they’d have to move them fast. They have the money at the hideout.”  
“Have you scouted the hideout? I don’t fancy another shot to my arm.”  
“Hey, how was I to know they would have look outs in tress like that?” Sean defends himself after one of the past jobs he brought to the group resulted in Hazel and Javier both taking bullet injuries. Sean was good at finding information but he was bad at scouting to see if the risk was worth the reward.  
“But you know better now, so have you scouted?”  
“I thought you and I could just do it all tomorrow. Spend some time together, just the two of us.”  
“Dad will never go for it being just the two of us.”  
“I’m a grown man, I don’t need permission, you’re not a baby either, and your da needs to lay off.” Sean grouses.  
“Even Arthur still gets baby sitters sent after him if he’s gone too long; you’re just going to have to deal with it.”  
“Would you be willing just to sneak off this one time? Please?” He says stick out his lower lip and blinking his eyes really fast, all he was succeeding at was making Hazel laugh.  
“Okay, jeez, okay. We can go. But if I get stuck on laundry duty I’ll shoot you.”  
“You won’t kill me love, you enjoy me too much.”  
“I didn’t say anything about killing you.”  
Sean managed to talk Bill into taking his guard shift that night, which was ideal since Bill liked to sleep. Hazel had been nervous as she told her father goodnight and slipped into her tent, she knew she needed some actual sleep but found her nerves getting the best of her. Yes, she and Sean had slipped out of camp a few times, but they had never snuck days away from camp before. If everything went according to plan they would spend on night away from camp, just the two of them. Hazel felt her stomach tighten at the thought of what that might mean for them. She sighed and pulled her journal from her bag and looked back at the old entries from the start of her and Sean’s relationship. They had spent a year awkwardly flirting with each other, Sean being more direct in his approach and Hazel not sure if he was the best person to be with. Then John had left. Hazel’s world flipped on its side, and Sean was there. The only one who wasn’t really that hurt that John had left, Sean hadn’t been with them long and he and John hadn’t really had a chance to get to know each other.   
December 1897  
Just had the first Christmas without John. Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only one who misses him. Uncle Dutch and dad don’t mention him all that much, Arthur acts like he died, Abigail goes from being mad to sad if he’s brought up. I think I’m the only one that really gets why he left. Maybe it’s because I was the only one he really told. He still writes to me, not as often as he used to though. I don’t know if the letters just aren’t getting to him and his to me, or if he finally found that better life he was looking for. Jack is getting bigger and I don’t see much of John in him, I’m calling Abigail a liar, but her timing could be off. John and her weren’t steady long before she said she was going to have a baby. I think almost man in this camp has been with her, even Arthur which makes me cringe a little when I think about it.   
Sean brought me a new pen; it’s a really nice one with a beaver engraving on the side. He danced with me and was my partner when we played games by the fire.   
He also kissed me again. I’ve lost count how many this is now. It still makes my stomach feel weird, but I don’t think I have that swarm of butterflies that I hear the girls talking about when someone kisses you. I wish I had a mom to talk to about this.   
I could talk to Susan, but then she would get mad about that fact I was kissing anyone and would be even more mad when I told her who it was. Karen would just tell me to go for it, since I know she and him have had a weird thing since he showed up, but Sean says it’s just for fun. Tilly would tell me I could do better, and Mary-Beth would probably tell me it was romantic, some silly forbidden love idea probably. Abigail is very bitter right now and would tell me to write all men off.   
They all like Sean, but I don’t think any of them would approve of Sean.   
I’m very confused.   
But Sean makes me smile, he just sits by me when I take off from camp to read John’s letter because the others don’t want to know about it.  
I hope John is having a good Christmas wherever he is.   
January 1898  
Sean kissed me as the New Year hit. Right in the middle of camp. I’m surprised he has a head left after the reaction. He also asked if I would be his, and I finally said yes. But I’m not sure of my feelings I guess. Maybe it will work out, he’s such a good guy, but reckless and cocky, but he has some good qualities too. He’s pretty handy at being a distraction on jobs when needed and from what I hear he is good at crowd control when they do big jobs like the bank they just hit. (Sometime after May of 1899 I will finally get to go and see for myself how good he actually is, or if he just talks all the people into silence.)  
I’m waiting for dad to come in and yell at me. Right now he and Uncle Dutch went on a ride and Arthur took off as well, but by himself. Susan is standing watch outside my tent right now, I don’t know if she’s keeping me in or everyone else out. Last I saw of Sean he was being shoved outside of camp by Bill and Josiah, who stopped by to spend New Year’s with us. Josiah will make sure Sean survives the night if nothing else.  
I bet John would be pissed too.   
The party is still going on. Javier is playing one of his songs from Mexico, I don’t remember the name. Maybe I’ll ask him to teach me Spanish now that our guitar lessons have drawn to a close, I’m pretty good now, but Javier will always be better. I hear a few bottles being tossed to the ground and some laughs. Sean and I killed the party for the most part, but nothing is going to get between the group and the free alcohol.   
I hope dad doesn’t hate me, or is too mad. I didn’t ask Sean to kiss me. Sure I didn’t tell him no either, but why should I? Arthur had already tried to get hitched at my age and I know that John didn’t make it to his 17th birthday without paying for a woman. From the stories that I hear when all the girls are together the only one who hadn’t been younger than me was Mary-Beth, and she was 18. Maybe it’s the whole I’m the baby of the group thing again, take Jack out and I’m still the baby. Hosea Matthew’s daughter. All the things that would make most men with a brain step away from me.   
Maybe that’s the only reason Sean is so appealing, he’s the only one that hasn’t sighed away. Even Javier did when I tried to flirt with him. Maybe I’m not trying enough either, but I don’t want to go away from camp since it can get messy, like Arthur and that witch Mary or poor Eliza. But inner camp relationships don’t always work either, John and Abigail. Having older siblings suck because you see their lives and what didn’t work out for them. Maybe I should just be a nun, less problems that way.   
I don’t see why I can’t give Sean a shot. What’s the worst that can happen?  
Hazel closed the journal closed, even back then her thoughts were all over the place. Tucking the worn leather book back into her bag she slips back out of her tent and goes over to the weapons wagon that Arthur made his spot since he became Dutch’s enforcer, but the cot was empty and one glance at the hitching posts showed that Boadicea was gone too. He must have just left because he had been in camp when she had gone to bed.   
She looked around camp and saw her father sitting at the main fire, waving his hands in the air frantically, making everyone gathered around him laugh at his words. Hazel crossed her arms, trying to figure out if she should continue trying to find someone to talk to or just go with the flow like she had the whole time she’d been with Sean.  
“You just missed him Hazelnut, needed him to scout the night patrol in Appleton.” Dutch’s voice carried to her ears causing the teen to turn and see the man outside his tent with a book in his hand, the main flaps to his tent had been pulled shut so Hazel thought he was in bed, but it must be his current…..whatever Molly O’Shea was to him, that was in the white tent.  
“I thought you were sleeping.” Hazel says walking over to him and leaning against the pole.  
“Molly turned in a while ago; I’m not quite ready to put Mr. Miller down for the night.” Hazel couldn’t keep the grimace from her face. Flashbacks from reading lessons of her childhood springing to mind. “Wipe that look off your face. Reading is an important skill, as is seeing life from different viewpoints.”  
“I know, but I still think he was a bit advanced for an eight year old.”  
“Or maybe it’s where I go wrong with all my students, I don’t expose them to Mr. Miller soon enough?”  
Hazel giggles and shakes her head before letting out a sigh, when she lets out the sigh Dutch looks up and lowers the book again, this time marking the page and closing the book. “What are you doing up anyway? You said goodnight almost an hour ago.”  
“Can I ask you something?”  
“Always.”  
“Let me rephrase, can I ask you something without you getting mad and without you telling dad?”  
“I can try with the first and I promise with the second. Hosea might be my best friend, but I don’t have to tell him everything. What’s on your mind?”  
Hazel shifts from where she is leaning and decides to sit on the grass by Dutch’s feet, sort of like she used to do when she was younger. “It’s about Sean.”  
“Okay.” Dutch says, trying not to roll his eyes. Sean and Hazel made him uneasy.   
“I know nobody is overly fond of he and I, like I know you all like him just fine, but you don’t like us. And I get it, but at the same time…..” Hazel stops and plucks a blade of grass from the earth and starts tearing it into strips. “Uncle Dutch, how do you know when you are in love? Like real love.”  
“There isn’t one right answer to that Hazelnut. And what you do feel can change with age.”  
“So there is no one sure fire way to tell?”  
“Why are you asking?”  
Hazel tosses the shredded grass to the ground and picks another blade of grass, thinking over her words, not wanting to get Sean in trouble, but she was very confused about everything in her head. “When Arthur was with Mary, he was with her, regardless of what you and dad told him. He thought that he knew what he was doing was right, that doing the things she asked him to do was right, regardless of what it was. Arthur was in love with her right? And I think he still thinks he is. Honestly he needs to move- I mean…..Arthur did things that he normally wouldn’t do without hesitation. Right?”  
“In some ways yes. I didn’t always approve of Arthur’s actions with most of his romantic interests. And yes, he did often do things he knew we would disapprove of when he was with Mary, Eliza too.”  
“But he did it anyway is what I’m getting at. He still went ahead and did these things. And I don’t remember Aunt Annabelle much, but I know she would get you to do things, like when you shaved all your facial hair off. You did that because you loved her.”  
“Yes, when you love someone you sometimes will do things simply because they ask you, but there should always be a limit to this. If your partner asks you to do something you are not comfortable with then it might be time to look at that relationship. Has Sean asked you to do something you’re not comfortable with?”  
“He wants me to rob a homestead with him.”  
Dutch gave her a look, Hazel robbing wasn’t anything new, and her and Sean had done several jobs with Arthur or Javier or basically anybody in the gang. “Is he asking you to rob someone we wouldn’t rob?”  
“No, I don’t think so. He says they’re a gang of rustlers, hit farms all over the place. It’s not the job itself; it’s how he wants us to get to the job. He wants just the two of us to go; we’re supposed to sneak out of camp in the morning. Stay out tomorrow night and come back the afternoon after that.”  
Dutch felt his eye give a twitch at the words. Just the thought of Hazel in the woods alone overnight was bad enough, but with a man like Sean. Dutch knew exactly why she was uneasy. “You do know you’re not going anywhere now right?”  
“Yeah, and I’m okay with it. I like Sean, but he needs to do better scouting work. He didn’t seem to know much about the place he wants to hit other than its general location. But like I said, it isn’t the job that has me confused.”  
“You want to know if what you feel for Sean is love?”  
“Yeah.” Hazel tosses her 4th shredded blade of grass on the ground before crossing her arms and looking at Dutch with a helpless look in her eyes that made Dutch’s heart hurt a little. Hazel wasn’t the little girl that just needed her Uncle Dutch to kiss a scraped knee or get her stuffed animal back from John. She was almost a grown woman who did not have a mother to ask these questions too. Who was afraid to ask her father because of how he always acted when he saw Hazel and Sean together in a flirty sort of way.   
“Hazel, I cannot answer that for you. Because there simply isn’t an answer. What one person feels may not be what another feels, and sometimes you think you’re in love when it’s just an infatuation or even plain simple lust. But I can tell you that if you are having doubts, think before you do something you can’t take back.” Dutch’s mind thinking to John and Abigail and the mess with Jack. Dutch also had doubts the Jack was John’s, especially as the boy got older and didn’t take on any of the features that John possessed. “I can also tell you if it is love, it will work its self out in the end. Look at your parents. Your parents had to overcome a lot in their relationship. There were times your father didn’t think they would make it work, yet they did, for almost 20 years.”  
“I wanna ask you…..feel free to say no…..you don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to, but…..I know you loved Aunt Annabelle, I remember you guys when I was little, how happy you always seemed to be. How you were when she died. Have you ever felt that for anyone else? Like Molly?”  
“I will never love anyone like I did Annabelle, she was very important to me, and I have no doubt in my mind that we would still be together now. But just because I will never love anyone like her does not mean that I cannot love anyone else. Just because it is different doesn’t mean it is not as strong.”  
“This is all really confusing.”  
“I know kiddo. Unfortunately it doesn’t stop. You just get more experience with age.”  
“I know you said we weren’t going to the job, is there a way to bust it without us having to do extra chores as punishment? I did rat myself out instead of just going with it which was my original plan.”  
“I’ll stay here; Sean won’t do anything if I’m keeping watch.”  
“Thanks Uncle Dutch.” Hazel pushes herself to her feet and wipes off her dress. Dutch stands and rubs a pain in his back as he does so. He’s getting a bit too old to sit on a crate for hours on end. Dutch wraps the girl in a hug and kisses the top of her head.   
“I’ll ask everyone to lay off you and Sean. I know that all the teasing and disapproving looks aren’t helping you. I can’t make any promises with your father though.” The two pull apart and Hazel smiles up at Dutch with a thankful look.  
“Maybe dad and Sean can go on this job? Sean needs help with subtly and scouting, dad likes to do all of that. Maybe it will help dad see that Sean isn’t as bad as he thinks he is?”  
“That’s not a bad idea. I’ll run it by him tomorrow.”  
“Goodnight Uncle Dutch.  
“Night Hazelnut.”  
Hazel walks across the camp, but instead of going to her tent she walks over to the fire and sits beside her father on the log, leaning against his shoulder as his story comes to a close. Hosea wraps an arm around her shoulders and gives her a light squeeze. “Dutch talk you out of trying to sneak away tonight?” Hosea asks as Hazel sits straighter and looks at her father with a confused look. “Next time you plan on being irresponsible, maybe don’t plan it in the middle of camp.”  
**************************  
Next Morning  
Hazel rubbed her eyes as she walked over to the campfire for some coffee, she had stayed up later than she meant to, but after her talk with Dutch she hadn’t wanted to be alone and it was nice to just sit by her dad and spend time with the rest of the gang, Arthur was riding into camp as she was pouring a cup, he looked very tired and slid off Boadicea fairly slowly. Hazel walked over to him and pressed her coffee into his hands and she tied Boadicea up for him. “Long night?”  
“Long ride. The laws in that town are very strange and their patrol patterns are weird.”  
“Still think you can hit the bank?”  
“Oh yeah, I said weird, not smart. By the time they even get wind of something we’ll be gone. How they work would make sense if they had more people, but this is going to work in our favor. Easy to get out if they are all gathered in one spot.”  
“I wish I was 19, I want to go with you.”  
“Just because 19 was the magic number with John doesn’t mean it will be with you. I was in my 20s when I had my first bank.”  
“That’s because the group wasn’t robbin’ banks back then, or I’m sure you would have been robbing them sooner.”   
Arthur laughs and wraps an arm around Hazel’s shoulders, he asks her if they can hold off on their trip to town until the next day and Hazel says yes knowing how tired he probably was, they walk towards Dutch’s tent, Arthur needing to fill Dutch in over what he saw in town. Right outside the tent was Dutch, Hosea, and Sean, all looking over a map and they were obviously talking about the homestead the Sean had wanted to hit. It looked like Dutch had talked Hosea into taking Sean. Hazel ducks away from Arthur telling him that she wanted coffee of her own since she had given hers away. In reality she didn’t want to face Sean yet, she was still confused about how much she actually felt for him, and she just wasn’t ready to deal with his disappointment that their plans had been thwarted. Even though it seemed that if Hazel hadn’t talked to Dutch it would have been stopped anyway and in a more public way.  
After pouring another cup she walked to the chuck wagon and grabbed two apples from the box and walked over to where Goliath was grazing. She cut up one of the apples and fed some to Goliath and some to herself. “Hermana!” a loud voice called from her right and Hazel smiled as she watched Javier come over to where she was standing. “I need to go to Maryville for some shells, wanna go with me?”  
“Sure, I was wanting to go to the post office anyway.”  
“Alright, get saddled and I’ll see if anyone needs anything before we go.   
Riding with Javier was always fun to Hazel, he was serious in so many ways, but he also liked to joke and they always spent time on the road just singing songs or Javier teaching her some Spanish words to the songs he would sing that Hazel thought were so pretty but she had no idea what they actually were about. They talked about how different their lives were growing up, but Javier didn’t go much into his teenaged years and Hazel was very glad that by the time she was born the Civil War was over, growing up during a war sounded awful, and it seemed like that was Javier’s whole life, being a revolutionary. Right now though, Javier was quizzing her Spanish.  
“Horse?”  
“Caballo.”  
“Camp?”  
“Acampar”  
“Brother?”  
“Hermando”  
“Father?”  
“Padre.”  
“Love?”  
“Uh……starts with an “A” right?”  
“It does.” Javier says with a smirk, he always got her in the end.   
“Asshole?” Hazel says with a shrug.  
“Ouch, is that how you compliment Sean? Calling him names?”  
“We both know Sean can be an ass, but I really cannot remember the Spanish word.”  
“Amor. Kinda like armor that protects you, love can protect you. Amor.”  
“Amor, like armor. If nothing else I remember how sappy you can be my friend.”  
They made it to Maryville without incident and hitched the horses by the general store and went their separate ways, Hazel rushing to the post office, just hoping there was a letter from John for her. When she ran into Josiah a few months ago she had asked him to try and find John for her and just let him know that she still needed him. If anyone could find him it was Josiah. She slowed her pace down as she walked into to train station, waited for one lady who was insistent that the package she ordered was supposed to be there that day and arguing with the poor station clerk who kept telling her over and over that the 20th was next week. Finally Hazel was able to ask for mail, using the standard name that they always set up where they were and when there was nothing she asked to check under her real name. Matthews was a pretty common name and she didn’t think she had been involved in anything too big for her name to be on anyones watch list.  
“Here we are, Hazel Matthews.” The brown haired man handed her a letter and Hazel couldn’t stop the smile when she saw the sloppy handwriting across the front of the letter. “John Kilgore” Hazel thanked the man and ran out of the station, ripping the letter open and frantically flipping the letter over a few times until she found the start of the letter.  
Hazel,  
I hope this find you well, but as long as you get this letter I will be happy.   
I’m thinking about coming back. These past few years have given me time to think and to live this life away from home. It’s not as bad as we were told, but it’s not easy either.   
I ran into Josiah not too long ago and he told me you were worried, I’m sorry I haven’t been in contact with you, but by the time I think I know where you are you’re somewhere new. I don’t see the point in sending a letter you might not get.   
I’m staying in a town called St. Marco, its east of where I am sending this letter. I hope to see you soon and maybe I’ll come home.   
Your brother,  
John   
Hazel read the letter a few more times before she ran into the general store where she found Javier looking over a lineup of shotguns, a quick glance around the store and Hazel saw a map and she scurried over to it, her eyes raking over all the towns east of Maryville, seeing Mt. Marco, a black dot right off what was probably a well-traveled road since it cut right through the middle of the map. Hazel pulled opened her satchel and pulled out a few bucks and bought some food while trying her best to answer Javier’s questions. “I’m going to go get him.”  
“Shouldn’t we go talk to everyone first?”   
“No, this letter was dated last week; I gotta get there before he assumes we aren’t here and moves on. I’m going now, do what you want.” Hazel shoves the few cans into her bag and runs out the store, Javier right on her heels, they both climb onto their horses and Javier still has to push Boaz to catch up with Hazel as she kicks her heels into Goliath’s sides, murmuring words of praise as he kicks up a cloud of dust.  
St. Marco is a very small town nestled between two very large towns, its proximity to the road is probably the only reason it isn’t abandoned. Goliath is panting as Hazel skids him to a stop right outside the saloon. She hops off and hitches him up, giving tossing a few apples and carrots on the ground as a treat as the poor horse sticks his head in the water trough. Javier barley has Boaz hitched before Hazel disappears into the saloon.   
The saloon is fairly busy, but after a few scans Hazel feels her chest tighten at not seeing John anywhere. She rolls her neck and walks up to the barman, she pulls her journal out and flips through a few pages before a photo of John falls out, she orders a beer and asks the barman if he had seen “this man” not knowing what John was calling himself these days.  
“Old John, yeah, he works at the stables, just down the road.”  
“Thank you!” She pushes off from the bar, leaving her drink untouched on the worn wood, almost knocking Javier over on her way out the door. Javier decides he’s done chasing her for now and goes to the bar and orders some food and a whiskey. If Hazel needs him he’s sure he’ll know.   
Hazel runs down the side road to the large red building and she spotted John at the side of the building stacking hay bales. She runs towards him, calling his name as she quickly jumps the fence that separates her from her brother. The man hardly gets his body turned around before she launches herself into his arms, wrapping her hands tight around his neck. “I found you!” she says into his sweaty neck. After a few seconds of shock, John finally wraps his arms around her back and gives her a squeeze.  
“I missed you too Hazel.”  
***************************************************************  
January 1899  
“I don’t get you Arthur, if you hate it so much why do you do it?” Hazel asks as she rides Goliath beside Boadicea, Arthur was going on another loan collecting job for Mr. Strauss, a relatively new part of the life of the gang that neither Hosea nor Hazel approved of, but it did bring in money. With the gang being as big as they were they needed it. Winter seemed to bring out the best in Dutch as now they a few more mouths. A very quiet man names Charles, a sneaky woman names Jenny, and Sean and Hazel’s new best friend and seeming Arthur’s new project, a boy named Lenny.   
“It’s not that I don’t like it, I just don’t get why he always decided to choose people who can’t pay it back. Just seems stupid to me to loan money out to people like that.”  
“You could always say no, Bill would do it.”  
“And Bill would screw it all up in the process and I’d still be sent after it. Better to cut out any risks.”  
“How long will it be?”  
“The farm is a few miles outside town, so I should be back by the time you’re finished, around five. You ready to do your first solo job?”  
“It’s no big thing, but yeah. We should do well today. Just in time to pack up again.”  
“Can’t very well stick around after we hit all the stages Dutch has his eyes on. But I am gonna miss where we’re at, we always do well when we settle at the base of the grizzlies. But I think Hosea needs somewhere a bit warmer. I wouldn’t mind being back in Montana though.”  
“I loved the desert, the nights were amazing. Do you know where we are going after this?”  
“Dutch and Hosea have a few ideas, but I keep hearing California.”  
“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen the ocean. It will be nice since we’ve been in the mountains for months.”  
“There are still mountains in California.”  
“But we can always take a trip to the coast. Remember when we were down in New Mexico and we spent like 6 weeks right on the water?”  
“I remember Dutch getting stung by a jellyfish and complaining about it the whole time. And that I had to make sure you didn’t run off into the ocean every few seconds. It was exhausting.”  
“I was seven Arthur, I was a little kid who was excited. There were cool birds and all the seashells and the weather was almost always nice. At least I didn’t hide as far away from the water as possible like John did. Remember how bratty he was when it stormed or if we were all at the shore and he would just sit back at camp and pout that he was there all alone? I wish John had been willing to learn how to swim, I think he would have loved our time there much better.”  
“How are you and Sean?” Arthur asks, quickly changing the subject. John had been back about 9 months and Arthur still hasn’t fully forgiven the man for leaving and refused to really acknowledge him. It was awkward most of the times for Hazel, she was so happy to have him back, but the tension between Arthur and John was hard to bare. She knew it was going to be a long road back for the two, but she didn’t think it would take this long.   
“Very subtle Arthur, not that you actually care but I think we’re okay. He seems to be taking things more seriously and the last job we went on there were no bullets used. I’d call that a big improvement.”  
“He’s done causing trouble with Javier right? I’m sick of breaking up their fights.”  
“He better be, Javier and I are friends. Sean never had an issue with us going out before and he better get that it’s not going to be a problem now. I don’t get pissy when he goes on jobs with Karen even though everyone in camp knows what they used to do.”  
“I don’t care about how to resolve the issue, just get it taken care of.”  
“It’s taken care of Arthur, promise.”  
The two ride the rest of the way into town with very little spoken between them other than Arthur giving Hazel some last minuet advice for the job she was doing. It was fairly easy, she was posing as a maid to get the stage shipping list for a company that, according to Dutch, were lacking in basic safety for the workers and not giving them the full cut of their pay. So off into town Arthur, John, Hazel, Hosea, Mary-Beth, and Javier had gone, Hazel was the first one to make contact with the wife of the owner and Hazel had convinced her to give Hazel a job to care for her sick father. She had spent the last week in the house, keeping her ears and eyes open as she shook out bedding and dusted shelves.   
Not all of the gangs dealing these days were falling into the neat package Dutch had pounded into their heads a few years back, not all of their hits were on bad people, so it felt good to be doing what they had originally set out to be. Even if Arthur wasn’t as lucky. They parted ways on the outskirts of town, Arthur telling her that Javier would be at the west end of town and Sean would be at the east if she got into trouble. Hazel slipped her leg over Goliath’s neck so she was riding side-saddle and smoothed the creases in her dress and tucked her hat into the saddle bag, trying to look as helpless as possible.   
She hitched Goliath where she always did at the back of the large house and walked in the side entrance to the house and in the kitchen, like always, was a list of things for her to do. It was Friday and she was normally asked to air out Mr. Ambrose’s study before the weekend and Hazel was happy that it wasn’t changing today. Hazel started on the list, making the study be the last thing she did. Hazel walked up the stairs and started stripping the bed sheets on all the beds and rolling them into balls and tossing them into the basket that would be taken by the laundry boy around noon, then she put on new sheets, the fitted ones always giving her a harder time than she liked to admit, but finally the bed was made. She picked up the basket and as she made her way to the door her foot caught on a dragging sheet and she tripped and hit the floor just as the door opened and Mr. Ambrose stood in the doorway.  
“I’m so sorry sir, I tripped, I’ll be right out of your way.” Hazel says quickly and quietly, trying not to sound as annoyed as she felt.   
“It’s quite alright Maggie, happens to the rest of us.” He says as he grabs Hazel’s hand and pulls her to her feet, and Hazel lowers her head to look at her feet so he can’t see her disgusted face as he rubs his hands down her arms. “No damage done, as smooth as ever.”  
“Excuse me sir, I need to get these downstairs before Bobby gets here.” Hazel says ducking out of his arms reach and gathering the fallen basket close to her.   
“Of course, I need to be going as well; I realized halfway to the office that I left my watch here. Please tell Edith that I will be home late tonight.” He smiles and steps out of the way, Hazel quickly walks away from the man whose eyes she could feel boring into her back.   
Even if he wasn’t as corrupt as Uncle Dutch says when it came to his workers, Hazel was glad they were going to rob the man simply because he was a creep that had issues with keeping his hands to himself.   
Hazel stayed in the back of the house until Mr. Ambrose left before she went upstairs to do the rest of the rooms on the list. Arthur wasn’t going to be back until around five, so she had several more hours to fill. Good thing is Friday was always her busiest day, Edith Ambrose didn’t like any of the servants around on the weekends so all the work had to be done on Friday. Hazel swept the stairs, washed windows, emptied the waste bins, cleaned the front porch, dusted all the shelves, and by the time 4:30 rolled around the only things she had left to do was the study. Edith had come home around three and after Hazel told her what Mr. Ambrose had said the older woman promptly said that she was going to stay at Mrs. Lupin’s house and that she was expecting Mr. Ambrose to come and walk her home. Giving Hazel free run of the house.  
The study was a fairly large room, the desk smack in the middle of it. Hazel opened the windows and slowly made her way around the room with her duster, opening all the drawers and cabinets looking for the list. Hazel knew he brought it home the day before and it would be reviewed over the weekend and turned in on Monday. Hazel just needed to see it and figure out where and what the stages were going to be carrying. She didn’t even have to take it out of the house.   
After she made her way around the sides of the room and coming up empty she knew she was going to have to look in the desk. She pulled off one of her earrings and tucked it into her pockets since the cook was still in the house, and while he shouldn’t come up here, the man did sometimes seek her out when his work was done and he wanted to chat. She slowly dusted the top of the desk, her eyes pouring over the papers on the top, pulling the top drawers open, ears strained to make sure there were no sounds of anyone coming up the stairs as she looked. The 3rd drawer reveled the list and Hazel pulled it to the top of the desk and flipped it open, grabbing a blank page and pen from her pocket as she poured over the list. There were five in the next week that looked like what Dutch was looking for, a few smaller ones that they might consider. Hazel looked over the pay ledger for the guards and saw that they were also being short changed for the dangerous job they were doing.  
Hazel froze when she heard steps in the hall and she quickly put the folder back and shoved her list in the bodice of her dress and tossed the earring on the ground and dropped to her knees as the door opened. Hazel popped her head over the desk and saw Mr. Ambrose, who froze at the sight of her before he slowly smiled. “Maggie, what a surprise to see you on the floor two times in one day.”  
“I’m sorry, I was airing out the room and dusting and my earring fell out, they were a gift from my dear mother and I cannot bear to lose them.”   
“Well, let me see if I can help.” Hazel quickly scans the floor, trying to find where the damn thing landed, hoping to grab it before the man came over. She had to bit her tongue when he dropped to his knees beside her, pressing into her as he did so and giving her a sideways smile before looking at the brown rug with her.   
Hazel felt herself break out into a cold sweat, the paper tucked away seeming to feel much bigger than it actually was and she had an irrational fear that it would fall from the fabric. It was tucked fairly far down and it would take some effort to get it out, but it still worried Hazel in the back of her mind. “Found it.” The man beside her said as he pulled the brass colored circle from the ground. He pushed himself from the ground and again grabbed Hazel’s hand and pulled her to her feet. Hazel reached out to take it.  
“Thank you so much, Mr. Ambrose, I would have been so sad if I would have lost it.”  
“Please Maggie, let me.” He says pushing Hazel’s hand away and cupping her chin and turning her head, Hazel held her breath and tried to keep her hand from twitching. Her knife tucked into the side of her boot feeling too far away and small to be helpful in this situation. The man’s hands felt too hot as he placed the earring back into her ear and she swallowed as his hand brushed down the side of her neck, pulling part of her hair forward as he did. “Beautiful.”  
“Thank you for finding it Mr. Ambrose-“  
“Gilbert, call me Gilbert.”  
“Thank you for finding it sir, it means a lot to me. Mrs. Ambrose wanted me to tell you she was wanting you to walk her home from Mrs. Lupin’s home.” Hazel says taking a step back from the taller man. If push came to shove Hazel was sure she could get away from him, he was built like John, a tall bean pole, but he worked behind a desk and probably had very little muscle in his frame like what John had. But she didn’t want to break her cover, he thought she was weak and quiet. She wanted to keep it that way so none of the robberies would look like she had leaked the info. She needed her face out of his mind when all of this went down.   
“Oh I know all about where Edith is. Clucking away with that brooding hen about how terrible their husbands are. I have no idea why John puts up with her, but I guess the same could be said for me and Edith. Our days of silly romance are long gone.”  
“I’m sorry sir, it’s not my place to know these things, please excuse me.” Hazel turns and tried to walk away, but a sharp hand on her arm stops her from going to far.  
“Is there anyone in your life Hazel? I young girl like you, even under those rags I can see how beautiful you are. No man is blind enough not to see you from across the room.”  
“I spend my time with my father or finding work. That’s whats important to me right now, sir.” Hazel tries to keep the bite out of her voice as she tries to tug her arm free, his hand wrapping tighter around, squeezing the limb tight.  
“What a shame, all work and no play. That’s no way for anyone to live.” The man steps closer and gives her a tug and she lands against his chest, his free hand wrapping around her middle. “I could make sure you have some fun in your life. I could send for a doctor to look after your father. I know the wages my wife gives you are not enough to pay for one full time.”  
“Sir, please, you have a wife, this is-.”  
“Maggie, I’m not asking for much, you’re so innocent, I wont push you unless you want it, I’ll give you time to think about it. Just let me give you something to think about before you go.”  
Hazel had to clench her hands into the man’s shirt to stop herself from punching him in the face as he pressed his chapped lips and prickly mustache to her lips. Hazel gritted her teeth together as tight as possible so he couldn’t get inside her mouth if he took it that far, and to stop her from biting him as one hand cupped her chin and the other hand slid down her backside.   
The kiss lasted a few moments, he had tried to coax her mouth open a few times and Hazel felt him chuckle when she let out a fake moan to cover up the annoyed grunt that tried to make itself known. When he pulled away hazel dropped her eyes to the floor, trying to seem nervous about what just happened and to keep the furry from her eyes as well.  
“Think about what I can offer you Maggie. Have a good night.”  
Hazel quickly ducked her head and ran out the door, Mr. Ambrose’s deep laugh making her blood boil more than it already was. She quickly mounted Goliath and galloped away from the house. She was supposed to meet the boys at the saloon so she forced herself to ride over there, she saw Javier sitting on the steps and Hazel stopped in front of him, “I got it, I’m going to a ride. See you back at camp.” Then she was gone before Javier raised his head to look at her.   
Javier just stared after her as she rode away, he always felt like she was leaving him in a cloud of dust these days. He walked back into the saloon where Arthur and Sean were playing five finger fillet and told them what happened, the boys mounting up and following the trail that Hazel left on her way out of town.  
They catch up with her at the mouth of the river a few miles outside town, Goliath is tied to a tree and the dress is in a pile on the ground, the splashing sound having them turn their heads to see Hazel swimming fast back and forth in the river, the current stopping her from swimming as fast but she was still swimming hard. They all could tell she was pissed.   
Arthur had sent Javier back to camp to let them know what was going on, then he and Sean tied their horses up away from the river a ways and sat and waited for Hazel to come out of the water, she was working out her anger and they didn’t need to see it up close. Arthur looked over the dress to make sure it was still in one piece and free of blood in case she was hurt, none of them had seen the law take off towards the house, and Javier had said that Hazel told him she had what they needed. But something had happened or she wouldn’t be this mad.  
Sean was tapping his foot in the tall grass as they waited, it was only Arthur’s voice that stopped the man from going into the water and demanding to know what was wrong with Hazel. “Relax kid, she’s fine, just mad. Let her work it out and then she’ll let us know what happened.”  
“You’re sure her dress was fine Morgan?”  
“I already told you it was, why do you keep asking about the damn dress?”  
“She told me the owner was a right creepy bugger. Liked to let his hands wonder where they had no right to wonder.”   
“When did she say this?”  
“A few days ago, said she could handle it and that it was fine.”  
“And you didn’t think to mention this to anybody.”  
“She asked me not too, I’m not going to go blabbing about things she don’t want me to blab about.”  
“There is a difference between blabbing to blab and telling us if she’s in danger!”  
“She said she could handle it, and I trust her-,”  
“You still need-,”  
“Will you two shut up!” a loud voice calls from the river, Sean and Arthur get to their feet and watch as Hazel walks out of the river, her underclothes soaked with a slight green color from the water. “I was trying for a realizing swim and you two decide you’re gonna yell and ruin it.” She reaches into her saddle bag and pulls out some extra clothes. “Watch the road while I change.” She stands beside Goliath and uses the large horse as a screen while she changed.   
She comes wraps the wet clothes in the dress and tosses them on the hooks of her saddle and then walks over to Arthur and hands him the paper with the information on it. “Three have payroll. Three days next week. A few smaller loads of supplies and every day from all over the place.”  
“Any trouble getting this?” Arthur asks, looking her over.  
“Nope, got it just fine. Ready to head home? I’m hungry.  
The ride back to camp is quiet, which just grated on Hazel’s nerves more than she was wanting. She her swim didn’t help as much as it was supposed to and she still felt her skin crawl. She was going to go home, eat and drag Sean to bed early.   
But her wish of that evening was shot to shit as soon as camp came into view, Lenny was on guard duty and he flagged Arthur down and told him that Dutch brought a new person into camp. Some beefy blonde guy names Micah Bell.   
Hazel just wanted to scream. Another person meant another mouth to feed and who knew what kind of guy he would be. Would he be another Uncle or would he be like Charles? Would he be an asshole like Bill? A new person also meant that there would be a party and even though Hazel knew she wouldn’t have to go to the party, she wouldn’t be able to sleep since a party meant alcohol and singing.   
The trio hitches the horses up and Hazel glances around camp and sees her father and Dutch around the new man, he was a bit of a plump and had a stupid looking mustache, and had a loud voice that made Hazel narrow her eyes. Arthur and Hazel exchange a glance before Arthur rolls his eyes and walks towards where the group was gathered. Sean places his hand on her shoulder and gives her a smile.  
“Would you mind getting me some food? I just wanna lay down. Honest days work is harder than what I’m used to.”  
“Not gonna meet the new guy?”  
“No, I’ll meet him soon enough, I want to get some sleep before the party takes sleep totally off my plate.” Hazel says as she presses a kiss to Sean’s cheek and walks towards her tent. Sean didn’t stay in it all the time, but a lot of his stuff still made its way in there and Hazel grabbed one of his shirts and wrapped her arms around it as she laid down on the cot. It was too hot to get under the blankets even though she really wanted to put another layer between her and the outside.  
A few moments later Sean came in with a bowl full of stew that Hazel ate fairly quickly since she was very hungry, tossed the bowl out the tent flaps and pulled Sean down next to her, he wraps his arms around her as she snuggles against his chest. “You wanna tell me what’s wrong?”  
“He kissed me.” Hazel says, gripping Sean tighter when she felt him tense up. “Calm down, I’m fine. If we weren’t planning on robbing him blind I would have taken care of it right then. That man has yet to realize he owes his life to a group of outlaws.”  
“Fucking pig.” Sean growls, pulling her tighter. “Are you sure you’re okay?”  
“Yeah, was just a kiss, a shitty kiss at that. No wonder he and his wife have no kids if that’s the best he can offer.”  
“I don’t care about his skills or lack of them, I care about you.”  
“I promise I’m fine. The swim helped, washed his slimy hands off me.”  
“You said it was just a kiss.” Sean says, his voice raising a bit at the thought of a strange man putting his hands on Hazel,  
“You try and kiss someone without your hands, he had a hold of me while he did it. He touched my butt, that’s it. If you don’t calm down I’m not going to tell you anything ever again.”  
“I’m sorry, it’s just….”  
“I know, but like I said, I’m fine. Can you just hold me for a bit? At least until I fall asleep.”  
“Hosea and Dutch wanna talk to you about what you found.”  
“They will come find me when they have a moment, they won’t talk shop in front of the new guy. I can’t sleep if you don’t shut up.”  
“Sorry, night Hazel.”  
“Night Sean, love you.”  
“Love you too.”  
March 1899  
“Karen! Catch!” Hazel yells crashing through camp and tossing Arthur’s hat to the blonde who was also running fairly fast away from a fuming Arthur who was trying his best to not look like he was being bested by a bunch of girls. Tilly, Mary-Beth, and Jenny were running from Lenny and Sean holding the boys’ boots tight in their hands. It wasn’t often that the group was well off enough for a day off. One day that Dutch had called where no one was to work or leave camp, they were just going to enjoy the day. And this was the result, a bunch of grown-ups acting like teenagers and Hosea rubbed his temples at the shrieks and giggles that were filling the air before giving Dutch a look that said this was all his fault.   
The girls had been down in the river enjoying being out from under Susan’s thumb and rubbing their skin with the small river rocks and sand to clean their skin when Sean, Lenny, and Javier had sprinted out from the tree lines and pushed all 5 of them in the river. This resulted in the girls pouncing on the boys and wrestling them to the ground and pulling off their boots and threatening to drop them in the river. Arthur had gotten involved when he showed up to see what all the ruckus was about and Hazel decided he needed to loosen up too and snatched his hat from the top of his head and running off with it.   
Arthur took off after Karen who yelled at Tilly who grabbed the hat and took off around the chuck wagon, she passed it off to Hazel who dashed right past Arthur who was not expecting the fast pass off and when Arthur caught Tilly Hazel was on the other side of the camp waving it in the air. Lenny had caught Jenny and he was trying to get his boot out of her hands and Mary-Beth was trying to fend off Sean and Javier, only succeeding when Abigail joined them in a rare moment for her and freed Mary-Beth from Sean’s hold on her skirts.   
“Hazel I swear if you don’t give me my hat back right now!” Arthur yells from one side of the poker table as he and Hazel dance about the sides, Hazel trying to get away and Arthur trying to catch her.  
“Oh, I’m so scared, what’s big old Arthur Morgan going to do about it?” She says as she plops that hat down on her own head and sticks her tongue out at him.   
Arthur makes like he’s going to run to the right and as Hazel goes the opposite way he flips the table over and tackles her to the ground. Hazel screams as she falls to the ground with a thump, her hands going to the top of her head to hold the hat in place as Arthur tries to pull it off, soon Arthur’s hands move from the hat to Hazel’s sides and starts wiggling his fingers up and down her rib cage.  
“NO! Arthur! No! Stop!” she yells out in between giggles, wiggling her body all over the place to get away from the dancing fingers.   
“Give me my hat!”  
“Never!”  
Uncle, Reverend, and Pearson all sat on the log with beer in their hands laughing loudly at the free show; Susan was shaking her head and trying to focus on her book from where she sat next to Mr. Strauss. Bill and Micah were sitting by the scout fire, keeping guard but not being on actual guard duty it seemed. Dutch and Hosea had been sitting at the domino table with their own books that they long abandoned to simply talk. “This is what happens Dutch, when you let the children have a day off. Little Jackie is better behaved than they are.” Hosea says looking at the boy who was playing in some tall grass with a lizard he had found not long before the peace of the day was interrupted.  
“It’s good for them Old Girl, let them have one day.”  
“You’re going to think one day when we don’t have a camp left. I thought we were done with teenagers after John?”  
“The only ones that are teenagers are Lenny, Jenny, and your daughter. Lenny is just using this as an excuse to get Jenny in his arms.” Dutch says pointing at where the two in question were now sitting under a tree, Lenny’s arm wrapped around her shoulders.  
“John!” Hazel yells from where she is still pinned under Arthur. “John help!”  
John shakes his head from where he is leaning against another tree, smoking on his new brand of cigarettes that he had discovered. “You know better than to touch his hat.”  
“John!” Hazel yells again, but the rest of the sentence is broken off by another laugh. “Okay, okay! Uncle! I give! Arthur!” Hazel yells tossing the hat off her head and crossing her arms over her chest, trying to get Arthur away from her ticklish sides.   
“I warned you.” He says as she stands up and pulls Hazel to her feet once she stopped laughing so much. Arthur walked over and picked up his hat, dusted it off and set it on his head again. Arthur takes a few steps away only to stop and turn and point a finger at Hazel who had made a move to lunge at his back and retake the hat. “Don’t even think about it little girl.”  
“I wasn’t going to do a thing!” Hazel says with her hands up and a huge smile on her face.   
Hazel breaks into giggles as Arthur slowly turns back around and tried to press his hat closer to his head. She shakes her head and tries to calm herself down and plants herself down on a crate across from Charles, who has spent most of the free day to himself, as was normal for Charles to do. “Mind if I join you?” she asks taking some deep breaths though her smile.  
“You already have.” He says simply back, not looking up from the arrows he is cutting.  
“I can go if I’m bugging you.” Hazel says, not offended by Charles’ words, he was a bit of a loner.  
“No, it’s okay. How did you manage to get his hat in the first place?”  
“Oh I can be very sneaky when needed Mr. Smith. But it was luck mostly.”  
“Dumb luck can be more useful than skill sometimes.”  
“That’s the only reason I can think of as to why Sean is still alive.” Hazel says with a giggle as she looks to where Javier and Sean are now having an arm wrestling match, neither man has on their boots.  
“I thought it was just thanks to you. You always seem to get him out of his scrapes.”  
“Give me the cut ones, I’ll put them together for you.” Hazel says motioning at the pile of arrow shafts at Charles’ feet. He kicks them over to her along with the bag of cut arrowheads and string. “Sean’s not too bad with what he finds, he just has a problem with rushing in without thinking. I figured all the times he was sent on jobs with dad would take care of that, but apparently not.”  
“One day he’s going to rush into a bear cave and get himself eaten.”  
“Probably. But there is a reason Uncle Dutch doesn’t let us go anywhere alone.”  
“Dutch knows how to keep his people taken care of.”  
“He’s pretty good at it.”  
Later that night most of the camp is drunk sleeping, or both, Hazel drug Sean to his normal bedroll in the lean too he shared with Lenny and Javier and tossed the blanket over him before going to the fire and sitting down again. Hazel hadn’t gotten too crazy since tomorrow they were going to finish the trek they started a few weeks ago and they would be outside of some small trading town called Blackwater right before nightfall. Hazel kinda figured that was the whole point of giving them the whole day off. It had been a long journey from the camp in the grizzlies that had caught fire due to a lightning strike and burned up a few things before they were able to get it out, several tents and a table and one wagon, the wagon was a hard loss but Hazel had been so sad when she found out Arthur’s journal had been lost too. She was hoping he would pick one up when they got to a town and Arthur stopped acting like he wasn’t missing his favorite hobby.   
“Mind if I join you Hazel?” a low voice sounded from her left and Hazel felt herself cringe a bit, but looked at Micah and nodded. He sat down on the log beside her, there was space between them, but not as much as she would like. “Did you have a good day?”  
“Yeah, It’s nice just being with everyone doing nothing.”  
“Get many days like this?”  
“No, I think the only reason is because of all the rough travel we’ve done the past few weeks. It’s hard always being on the move.”  
“Isn’t that what this life is? Always moving.”  
“I mean, we’re always on the move, but we normally stop and set up for a few weeks at least. We haven’t been anyplace longer than a few days in a long time.”  
“How is camp chosen? Like what makes one woods better than another?”  
“I don’t know, I’m not a part of that. I just go where I’m told.”  
“Surly you’re a part of that inner circle that Morgan and Marston are in with Dutch and Hosea?”  
“I’m not as in the loop as you’d think. I mostly deal with Ms. Grimshaw.”  
“But you go out and do things for the group? My first day you were off on your own. Most of the time Dutch doesn’t seem to let anyone go off on their own.”  
“Why are you asking all this Micah? You’ve been here a few months now, what makes you think my answers are going to be any different than what you’ve already seen?”  
“I’m just curious is all Hazel, you were a baby when Hosea brought you here, you’ve known nothing else. Every little girl wants to live a different life than the one they have.”  
“How would you know what little girls want? And for your information, this is my family, I’d never leave them. No matter how long I’ve lived like this.”  
“Relax, I didn’t mean nothing by it. Just simmer down. I just came over here wanting to make conversation and you fly off the handle.”  
“Micah, you’re an idiot. Excuse me.” Hazel pushed herself off the log and goes to her tent, flipping the canvas down behind her.  
As she laid down on the bed she let out a breath. Ever since Micah had joined he was always asking her questions, about her life, growing up in the gang, jobs they had done, anybody who was in the gang that wasn’t there now. It was annoying and very invasive. Micah didn’t seem like a bad man, just a wind bag with an inflated sense of self importance. Hazel had seen her dad, Arthur, and even Charles knock him down a few times when he caused too much of an uproar, but he never seemed to be down for long.   
The next morning Hazel and Hosea rode off as camp was collapsed again behind them. Hosea had wanted to spend some time with his daughter and riding ahead to make sure the planned spot for the new camp was still a good option. Goliath was bigger than Silver Dollar so Hazel was up higher than her father, but Hosea always seemed bigger than life for the teenager, and it was nice to be out with him. They normally didn’t get to spend time away from camp just the two of them.   
“When was the last time you were out this way dad?”  
“Years ago, back before I met your mother. Dutch and I were following the coast line of Flat Iron and there was this little hole in the ground town, but back then it was more of a black market sort of town. Overran with outlaws and souls of the damned. We made a decent bit when we were this way back then. I’m sure it hasn’t changed that much since then. We can make some money and keep going on to our next destination. One day Dutch’s grand plans will all work out and we can take all our ill-gotten gains and retire by the ocean.”  
“I love the ocean. We could get a boat, eat fish all day and drink rum in the sun.”  
“You’ve been talking to Javier again haven’t you?”  
“He had a good life when he lived by the water, and Pearson can talk about it all day every day. It’s nice that they have something solid like that to remember from growing up. I never had anything like that. We were always moving. One day I’d have flat plains and the next I’d have rocky mountains, then a hot desert the day after. I think it would be nice to have an actual house somewhere, live in the same place forever.”  
“Sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice to bring you into this.” Hosea says after a few moments of silence after Hazel spoke.  
“What do you mean?”  
“After your mother died, I was a mess. When we found out we were going to have you, we prepared for you to not make it, then the months dragged on and you were growing in your momma and the more I relaxed, thinking it was all going to work out. Then next thing I knew was you were here and she was gone. I reached out to my best friend right when I was told that there wasn’t hope for the both of you. You’re Uncle Dutch was there, taking charge like he always did, and I was in no place to take care of you on my own. So we went with them. And while I was trying to drag myself out of the bottle I had crawled into you grew up on me. You loved Arthur and Annabelle so much, that I couldn’t pull you away from them, even if I had my feelings on you being forced into this life without a say. I always wanted to do right by you.”  
“I think you did. Has it always been easy? No, but it’s been amazing. I don’t think I could have a closer family than the one I have now. I have more people looking out for me than most people living straight. I mean, just look at basically everyone you or Dutch have brought in, they were in that nice, straight world and they were treated like dirt. I’m glad I never had to go through any of that. I never went to bed scared or hungry or alone. So please don’t think you made the wrong choice dad. I love my life.”  
“I’m glad to hear you say that, because I know I cant get out of it, especially not at my age, and I don’t think I could just sit by and let you leave. It hurt us all when John left, I don’t think I could handle it if you left me.”  
“I wont dad, promise. If John taught me anything is that it’s the people you leave behind that hurt. And I cant hurt you like he did. I love you too much.”  
“I love you too kiddo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that in game John is only gone for about a year or a little over a year. Jack was born in 1895 and everything I found says John left about a year after he was born so that would have him leaving sometime in 1896 and coming back in 1897. In this story I had him leave in May of 1896 and have him come back in April 1898, making him gone just under two years.   
> All the Spanish translations are from Google and I have no idea if they are even right. I took Spanish once in High School and I failed it. My knowledge of the language is counting to ten and some of the colors.   
> All the town names were generated though a name generator from a Google search and I have no idea if places with those names exist or even how to pronounce them, I just thought they looked cool and went with them.   
> And finally we are in Blackwater. I’m going to use a YouTube video that I will try and link below since it has a lot of information about the ferry job on it, I’m also going to keep the ferry job pretty vague since I know most RDR fans have their own theories about what happened, and I have my own as well that I’m probably going to use in this story.


	4. Chapter 4: Blackwater

Chapter 4: Blackwater  
“Ya know, I realize that you and Uncle Dutch are getting up in years, but I didn’t think you guys had forgotten the difference between a city and a trading post.” Hazel says as she shifts in the saddle next to Hosea, Dutch, Arthur, and John looking at the crowded street of the growing town that was nestled beside the lake.   
“Shut up Hazel. It’s been years since we were last through here; I guess it isn’t all that surprising that it grew up.” Hosea says as he surveys the town from the top of the hill. “But a bigger town means bigger pickings. You know the drill.”   
Hazel shrugs and clicks her tongue and Goliath starts trotting down the road, Arthur and John on either side of her, quickly separating when they reach a road straight into town. They had been camped outside town for a few days and it was finally time to do some scouting. Hazel was dressed in a fairly plain red dress and now she wondered if she was underdressed compared to the ladies she was passing as she made her way into town.   
She hitches Goliath by the post office and strolls down the sidewalk. She can’t keep her eyes from looking at the grand looking buildings, and a few blocks into town she collides with a solid body, a strong hand wraps around her wrist and stops her from landing on her backside. She shakes her blonde hair from her eyes and looks into a bright pair of green eyes with reddish hair that was sticking up in several directions. “Are you okay miss?” the man says pulling her upright.  
“Yes, I am so sorry; I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.” Hazel says brushing her hair from her face. She had refused to allow Miss Grimshaw to put it up.  
“It’s alright, are you hurt?”  
“No, no I’m fine. Thank you though, for catching me,” she holds her hand out with a smile, “My name is Hazel.”  
“Collin, pleasure to meet you Miss Hazel.”   
“Pleasure is all mine. Are you sure you’re not hurt, I know we bumped pretty hard.”  
“I’m perfectly fine, I assure you, if I can’t take a few bumps I’ll need a new career, then I’d have no money for the best food in this town.”  
“Well I’m glad our little run in hasn’t ruined you’re plans. I couldn’t live with myself if my day dreams cost a man his dinner.”  
“It’s closer to lunch time actually, would you like to accompany me to lunch? The saloon has a decent fish fry this time of day.”  
“I’d love too, I’m new to town and the saloon is normally right in the middle of town, so if I can find that place I can probably find my way around anywhere.”  
“Or, I could take you on a grand tour of our fair city. Today is my day off so I can show you around if you would like, I’ve lived here my whole life, seen it sprout up before my eyes.”  
“I would like that, very much.” Hazel says with a smile, slipping her arm through Collin’s offered arm and walked with him down the sidewalk.  
Collin pointed out various buildings and even pointed out some back alleys and let slip that there were a few misdeeds going on in backrooms of various businesses. There were a few that she tried to remember to make note of as they walked. Hazel also learned that Collin was a police officer and was only a few months into his first year. He was sweet, a little awkward, and seemed to be trying way too hard to impress her. The lunch was nice, but anything was better than the mess that Mr. Pearson always served. Afterwards he walked her along the water and talked about all the boats that came and went through the port, and then they ended up back at the post office and as the sun went down he kissed the back of her hand as she climbed onto Goliath and rode out of town.  
Camp wasn’t too far from town and she made it back fairly quick, when she hitched up she saw she was the last one back. Leaving Goliath to Javier who flashed her a smile as she hopped down. She waved at Sean who was playing cards with Lenny and Bill and she made her way over to where Dutch, Arthur, and her dad were all sitting around a map. “Hey,” She says as she sits down on the chair next to her dad.  
“Hey, you’re new boyfriend looks nice; I step up from your old one.” Dutch says blowing smoke from his cigar.  
“I don’t think you’d like him, him being a lawman and all.”  
“Excuse me?”  
“Relax; he thinks I’m visiting town with my family because my uncle got his heart broken. Besides, he’s only been with the locals for a few months; he’s a baby, very harmless.”  
“No lawman is harmless to us Hazelnut.”  
“I promise I’ll be careful around him, but in the meantime, I have a few leads for ya’ll to follow up on. I can’t since I was seen parading around town with the cutest newest addition to the police force. If I check in on them there will be a connection.”  
“Do you think anyone was really watching you that closely?”  
“All the single ladies, even a few with rings were twirling their hair at him. He’s not a bad looking guy all things considered.”  
“That’s enough, you’ve been gone all day and I know Susan needs help with the dinner dishes.” Hosea says giving her a gentle nudge, “You can tell us all about your leads once she’s done with you.”  
“Okay, okay.” Hazel says with a roll of her eyes and soon she has a bucket full of soapy water and a stack of grimy dishes. Hazel knows that she has it better than most of the girls in camp since she isn’t fully stuck on camp chores and can come and go much more than they can, so she does the dishes without complaint. She almost jumps out of her skin when arms wrap around her middle and a soft kiss is pressed against the side of her face.   
“So rumor has it I’m being replaced by some city boy?”  
“Nah, you’re much better looking. I gotta finish these dishes Sean.”  
“I’m not stopping you; last I checked you didn’t need your middle free to wash dishes.”  
“If I get yelled at because of you I’m going to drown you in this dirty water.”  
“You’re always threatening me; maybe I should let that city boy have you.”   
“Shut up.” Hazel says, flicking water over her shoulder and causing Sean to flinch back.   
Sean stood at her back and listened to her as she spoke about her day, and when the dishes were finished they settled on the log by the main fire with most of camp and she told Hosea and Dutch about all the leads she found in town, Javier forces her guitar in her hands and he sits cross legged on the ground, Hazel sliding off the log and leaning against Sean’s legs and the rest of the night is filled with various songs until the moon rests high in the sky.  
A few weeks later  
“Collin! Hey!” Hazel says as she runs across the street towards where Collin is standing outside the bank’s door.  
“Miss Hazel, it’s so good to see you.” Collin says sweeping his hat from his head and giving Hazel a huge smile. “What brings you all the way back into town so soon?”  
“I have a small favor to ask, feel free to say no if you want.”  
“I would never say no to you, what can I help with?”  
“I’ve never been on a boat before, and everyone just keeps talking about the ferries that pass in and out of the harbor all the time and I was really wanting to go on one, but I wasn’t really wanting to go alone.”  
“I would love to go with you. When do you want to go?”  
“There is one in a few hours, if not then there is one tomorrow.”  
“You are in luck; my shift is over in about half an hour. If you just hang tight we can get lunch and then I’ll take you on your first ferry ride.”  
“Collin, I am so happy I bumped into you.” Hazel presses up on her tip toes and presses a soft kiss to Collin’s cheek. “See you at the restaurant officer.” She says with a wink as she turns back to where Dutch was waiting across town.  
Micah, the new annoyance that Dutch insisted was more helpful than he was actually proving himself to be, had heard some rumor about a loaded ferry that was coming into Blackwater in a few weeks and Dutch was using Hazel’s new friendship with a talkative young lad with a crush to gain some information on what security might be like since they didn’t have much to go on and if they posted in the harbor then they would be spotted fairly quickly.   
Picking the ends of the dress she was one again wearing so it wouldn’t get too dirty as she walked she passed the saloon and saw her father and Arthur in the window, also dressed to the nines, working at the real estate scam they had uncovered, Hazel gave a polite smile to her father who never broke his conversation. With Hazel making almost daily trips into town she couldn’t be seen wearing the same dress all the time and her pants wouldn’t work with the story she had in place, so she was on a rotation of all the dresses in camp she could wear and the last thing she wanted to do was damage them.  
Dutch was leaning outside the stable, his newly purchased saddle gleaming on The Count’s back and his old one wrapped in leather resting at his feet. “Hello my dear.” He says as she comes closer.  
“Hello Uncle, did you get what you needed?”  
“Yes, it’s a great improvement, the leather on this one,” Dutch kicks at his old saddle, “was wearing quite thin. Are you going to stay in town or ride back to the house with me?”  
“Oh I would like to stay in town if you would allow me; Collin agreed to take me on a ferry this evening.”   
“Your aunt will never forgive me if I let you stay in town alone.”  
“It’s just for a little while, Collin says his shift is over in half an hour and that was before I walked all the way over here. I promise I will be back before too dark.”  
“Okay, you can stay, just be careful and stay out of trouble.”  
“Will do, thank you so much.” Hazel smiles at Dutch before turning back and heading to the small restraint that Collin had introduced her to last week that had amazing tea and lemon cakes. Hazel hears the stableman comment on how “lovely his niece was” and “how kind their small family is” the poor man. In a few short weeks the Van der Linde gang had wrapped the straight members of this town tight around their fingers and they would have no idea what hit them before it was too late. But at least all the scores they were after should mainly impact the corrupt, as was supposed to be their code, but that seemed a bit lacks as time went on.   
Sitting at the table and sipping on some sweet tea and reading at the newspaper she had purchased the bell over the door rang and Hazel looked up and smiled at Collin as he walked in. He was no longer in his uniform and had settled from some jeans and a button shirt, looking much more casual yet still obviously trying to look like he wasn’t trying. Hazel felt a little guilt as he kissed her hand as he sat down and offered to pay for her lunch again.   
They ate and Hazel asked Collin about his day, trying to learn a bit more about the police in the town, their training, how organized they were, any weak links or the like she could find out the better. Hazel giggled and twirled her hair, grateful for all the times she hid behind wagons and spied on Abigail and how she used to flirt with all the men in camp before Jack, nothing better than learning from a pro. Soon they had a small box of lemon cakes to go and they linked arms as they walked to the pier and again Collin pulled out his wallet to pay for their trip.  
The ferry was red and was just going around the small group of islands on Flat Iron Lake and back, there were several couples and families, a few musicians, and a few poker tables. It was an entertainment ferry, but it would still work. They sat at the back of the ferry by the large wheel and shared the lemon cakes before Hazel leaned over the edge and looked out over the shore. “It’s so peaceful. I’ve always loved the water.”  
“So have I, when I was younger we lived a little closer to Tall Tress and part of the lake dips towards the shore in this big U shape and my sister and I would always swim there in the summer. As soon as our chores were done we’d race each other down and stay until Pa would come after us with a switch since we had ignored their calls for dinner for so long.”  
“Before my mother died my family took a trip to Michigan, my father wanted to fish the mythical fish that supposedly lived in the Great Lakes, we spent a month there. My parents, my uncle and aunt, and brothers, it was so much fun. We rented this tiny fishing boat and stayed on the Lake a whole day. My poor father didn’t catch anything bigger than a bass. He was so disappointed.”  
“I wish I could have met your family back then, before everything happened.” Collin says gently taking her hand and squeezing her fingers. “I know it might not seem like it, but not all towns are full of outlaws and lawmen that don’t care.”  
“It’s just a little hard to forget you know. I mean, right now, everything is peaceful, but what’s to stop some thugs getting on a boat in the harbor and shooting everything up?” Hazel looked down at her hands, pretending to be ashamed of her ‘outburst’ and slowly looked towards her companion. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to get upset.”  
“It’s okay, I understand. But you don’t have to worry so much about outlaws on boats. Most of the entertainment ferries have privet security, hired out by the main company. There are always at least 6 on each ferry, even more on the bigger ones. Sometimes these ferries get borrowed to move supplies and whatnot, and then it’s the hired guards as well as Blackwater officers. So the more valuables on a boat the more guards.” Collin turned and gently caressed her face, “and nothing is more valuable then you, so I promise you are completely safe from all harm.”   
Hazel felt her face blossom into a huge smile at the sweet and yet very cheesy line she had just been handed. His bright eyes just adding to the gnawing feeling of guilt she was feeling. She was using this boy, pretending so much at his expense. And the guilt sometimes to a back seat to the confusion she felt as well. Sean had always confused her heart, even years later, and Collin made it worse. Is this what it was supposed to be like falling in love? Butterflies and bashful smiles? There had never been any of that with Sean, there had been adrenaline and fist time jitters, but none of it was like what she was feeling right now.  
This very moment, when she took a step closer to Collin and tilted her head up to meet Collin’s lips as he lowered his head. They connected and a jolt that she had also never felt went through her whole body. One of Collin’s hands stayed at the back of her head while the other gripped her waist and Hazel wrapped her arms around his neck. It was a longer kiss than she was expecting for their first kiss, but it was still very nice and she felt a little breathless as they pulled apart. “I hope that was okay?” he asked brushing her hair behind her ear.  
“It was perfect.” She said with a smile. For the first time since she met the man she wasn’t lying. The kiss was perfect; it was also causing knots of guilt and nerves to roll in her belly.  
The rest of the ride was spent with them making soft small talk and the sun was going down when they made it back to town and Collin insisted she stay in town that night and now ride to her “house” this late at night. So she let him walk her back to the hotel and even though Hazel wouldn’t let him pay for her room, he did lay money down for breakfast since he was escorting a stage out of town in the morning and he would be back in town in two days. He kissed her at the base of the stairs and said his goodbyes.  
Hazel went up the stairs and since she was tugging at her hair she ran head first into another solid chest, but the voice that made fun of her was a familiar one. “So, are you gonna dump Sean for pretty boy?”  
“No Arthur, I’m not dumping Sean.” Hazel says tugging her hair all the way down.  
“I don’t think sharing is practical in this situation.”  
“Will you stop, it’s not like that. Are you staying in town tonight?”  
“Yeah, gotta meet Mr. Fancy Pants tomorrow at 8, better if I don’t look like I’ve slept in the dirt.” Arthur says motioning her into his room. Her father was sitting in a chair with his feet soaking in a pan of water. “Hosea’s delicate feet can’t handle fancy shoes. He’s got some blisters on his heels.”  
“My poor dad.” Hazel presses a kiss to the top of Hosea’s hair before kicking her own shoes off. Her room was right across the hall so she was just going to carry them back. “So, what have you been up too?”  
“Oh no, we’re not the ones smooching lawmen in the doorway, you talk.” Arthur says with a smirk as Hazel turns red and Hosea’s eyes snap to his daughter.  
“Why are you always kissing boys I don’t like?” He asks running his hand through his hair.  
“Ok, first of all, you don’t even know Collin, so you don’t know if you don’t like him. And second, it’s just for the job. I swear. He’s been a lot more forward with information since we shifted from friends to the direction of something else. I’ve known him less than a month and he doesn’t even know the real me. He thinks I’m on some random goose chase so my heart broken father can get away from the memory of my dead mother and that we’re here until he gets bored. So you can all relax.”  
“We just don’t want you getting hurt in this; we don’t want you to pour so much into something that’s not real for Dutch’s job. Don’t forget to keep that barrier up.” Hosea says as he grabs Hazel’s hand and kisses the back of it. “This is the first time you’ve ever gotten this involved, the first is hard.”  
“Good thing I learned from the best then.” Hazel says looking at her dad. “I mean, one of us had to be like you, heavens know it isn’t John and Arthur might be good at the act he doesn’t like to put on a flashy show.”  
“I don’t want to kiss policemen.” Arthur grunts from where he has propped himself up on his bed, his socked feet propped up on the baseboard of the bed and his journal in his hand.  
“I don’t think any of them want to kiss you either, so no worries there. Anyway, Collin’s out of town until Monday so I’ll be at Miss Grimshaw’s mercy until then. How long are you going to stay in town?”  
“Until tomorrow night. Have a meeting at the main office as they call it in the morning and a lunch in the afternoon.”  
“Father and son act?”  
“Something like that. We should have it all well in hand by the time that ferry comes in that Dutch is so gung-ho about.”  
“Maybe when I tell him about the security just on the entertainment boats maybe he will change his mind. I don’t like it. I’ve been all over town and I haven’t heard a thing about a loaded ferry and I’ve heard plenty.”  
“That was also before you started walking around on the arm of Blackwater’s finest. They’re gonna watch what they say around you. Let’s just let the next few days play out and the cards fall where they will.”  
The following morning Hazel ate the breakfast that Collin had bought for her and she watched as Arthur and her dad shook hands with a few fancy dressed men and walk down the street. Hazel went to the stable and paid the man for a few treats and thanked him for watching Goliath and she pulled herself up in the saddle and rode fast and hard out of town. She cut out towards the plains and once she was a good distance from camp and tugged her skirts up to her thighs and shoved her nice shoes into the saddle bag and dug her bare feet into Goliath’s sides and pushed him as fast as he could go.   
The teenager lifter her head high and let the wind sweep fast by on her skin and through her hair. She always loved the more open spaces they sometimes found themselves at. Her and Dutch had ridden for hours when they were in the desert, they would race past the cacti and desert scavengers until the moon was high in the sky and camp was hours away.   
Hazel didn’t agree with Dutch’s philosophy as much as Arthur, but she wasn’t as against it as John, she was just stuck in the middle like always. But Hazel would always agree with his desire for freedom. The ladies in Blackwater would never allow themselves to ride fast across the land this way, or if they did want to they never would. Too constricted with societal norms to really act like they wanted or too afraid of the judgment of their peers if they did so. But how free was Hazel really? She wouldn’t be able to stay out here forever, she had to get back to camp and pick up the slack of her chores she had left behind.   
But right now, she was going to run Goliath to the nearest river and they were going to relax in the wild.  
A few hours later found a tired but joyful 18 year old ride her horse back into camp. Noticing that The Count was gone she had time to kill before having to tell Dutch about what she had learned. She hopped off the black horse and pressed a kiss to his forehead before she stripped him of his saddle and blanket. He hadn’t been fully dry when she had put the saddle back on him, but she had ran out of free time, so the saddle now had to air out and Goliath’s back was slick with water and sweat and he was in desperate need of a brushing to get all the knots from his tail, he was also in need of a few treats for how hard he had allowed Hazel to push him.   
Once she was happy that Goliath was all set and good to go she walked to her tent and quickly replaced the dress for her pants and shirt, tossing her hair in a knot at the top of her head she snapped a suspender in place as she walked towards where the girls were all gathered together doing random things. “Hey, look who finally graced us with her beautiful face!”  
“Hey Jenny, got some shirts to send my way?” Hazel says sitting next to the blonde woman who she had grown fairly close to in the short time she had been riding with them.   
“Do I ever. You gotta tell me since you’ve been here the longest-,”  
“That would actually be Arthur. “  
“You know what I mean. Has John always been this rough on his clothes?”  
“Always, his shirts were what I used to practice on because there was almost no way to make them worse than they already were.”  
“I had an older and younger brother growing up, and Michael would always be this neat prissy pants, but Alex and I were always dirtier than a pig in poop. Mama would scold us something fierce all the time. She started making me do the mending more I think as a way to try and get me to stop being so rough with my things. Didn’t really work, but I’m grateful I know how to sew.”  
“Especially when you sewed Lenny and Sean up in that tent!” Karen giggled as she scrubbed at the washboard between her knees.  
“Or Micah’s pant legs together.” Tilly added, giggling at the flashback of Micah falling red faced and screaming over on his cot as he tried to pull his legs fully apart, but being unable to.   
“Or the ends of Javier’s shirt.” Abigail snorted into her coffee. Javier had lost the last bar of soap down a river and Jenny was annoyed since they were nowhere near a town and soap was a main to make from scratch and really none of them really knew how to do it. So Jenny had taken Javier’s favorites white shirt and sewn the ends of the sleeves together and again the whole camp heard some interesting swears in Spanish and English as his hand was stopped in the long white sleeve.   
“Why are we not clever enough to come up with ideas like that?” Mary Beth said tossing her ball of yarn into the basket.   
“Your heads always in the clouds little miss bookworm, you and Lenny should start dating, but then you’d both be buried in books that nothing fun would happen.”  
“Hey! I am not boring Karen!” Mary-Beth says, tossing her finished socks at Karen’s head. “I just like to read, it’s a great way to pass time.”  
“So is drinking and you can actually interact with people.”  
“Okay, new topic.” Hazel interjected, Mary-Beth and Karen got along great, but neither was practically understanding of the other’s favorite past times, the polar opposites that they were.   
“Yes, why don’t you tell us about that handsome ginger you’ve been smooching in town?” Karen says crossing her arms.  
“His name is Collin and his hair is more brown actually, just gotta catch it in the right light.”  
“And from what I’ve been hearing and the rest of us have been seeing, you and him have spent a lot of time in various types of light.” Tilly says with a sly smile.   
“I literally ran into him by accident and he just so happens to be full of helpful insider information. It’s no different than when we act like house maids or bimbos on jobs. It’s just an act and it don’t mean nothing.” Hazel defended herself.  
“So you’re not denying the smooching?” Mary-Beth asks, her voice full of wonder, while Hazel felt the tips of her ears burn.   
“Oh my lord it’s true! You’ve been swapping spit with a lawman!” Karen exclaimed with a huge smile. “I cannot wait to tell Sean!”  
“Karen Jones don’t you dare!”   
“Girls!” a harsh voice sounded over the camp towards where they girls were gathered, “If you lot were any louder we’d have the whole army on us in a heartbeat, stop fooling around and get to work.”  
They all quickly looked down at their laps as the matriarch of the gang stormed past them. They waited until she was on the other side of the camp again with a mortar in her hands before they made eye contact with each other and burst out laughing again.   
A few hours later Dutch came riding back into camp, closely followed by Micah and Hazel wanted to roll her eyes. Micah might as well crawl up Dutch’s butt and build a house there since he seemed to always be sucking up the man. It put Hazel on edge and annoyed her to death. But as bad as Micah was Dutch was annoying her too with how much he put up with it. Yeah, the tubby blonde had saved Dutch’s life somewhere, but that didn’t mean that Dutch owed him much past a nice thank you, maybe a nice whiskey.   
“Down hermana.” Javier says patting her shoulder as she glared at the man who she was going to have to deal with in a few minutes. “He sees you starting he’s going to get the wrong idea.”  
“I wasn’t staring, I was glaring. Big difference.”  
“Still involves you looking at him for a long period of time. Relax.”  
“Come on, even you can’t say you like him all the much.”  
“I didn’t say I did, I’m also not fond of Mac and Davey but were still family, so at least try to not be so hostile.”  
“You just don’t like Mac and Davey because they drink all the good liquor.”  
“You know me so well, listen there are some cattle that Sean and Lenny have had their eyes on for the last few days, they’re being moved from some big ranch, not too far from here. Lenny and Sean want to fence them and they asked me to join them, but I’m hitting a homestead with Bill, wanna take my spot?”  
“Sure, I’m not due back in Blackwater until Monday. I have time to get up to some trouble.”  
“No trouble Hazelnut.” Dutch’s says walking up to them, putting an arm around her shoulders, “Javier please excuse us, we got some planning to do for that ferry.” Javier nods and continues on his walk as Dutch steers Hazel towards his tent. Micah is nowhere in sight and Hazel feels her shoulders relax at not seeing him.  
“So, tell me why you didn’t come home last night and what you found out on your little date.” He says as he lights a cigar and sits on the edge of his bed.  
“Boat ride took longer than I thought so I got a room at the hotel. Saw dad and Arthur, I was fine.”  
“Just you in that room I hope.”  
“Really?” Hazel says crossing her arms, “Collin is a gentleman, more than almost any man I’ve ever met. He’s probably the type to wait until the wedding night.”  
“I just don’t want you to burry yourself in this, it’s easy to get swept up and let the acting mix with reality.”  
“Why is everyone giving me this warning? Yes, Collin is a nice and handsome man, but in case you all have forgotten, I’m with Sean. Have been for years. Why would I give up what I have with Sean for a short term fantasy with a lawman? Do you wanna hear about the guards or not?”  
“Okay, just making sure, I know the issues you’ve had with Sean in the past. And yes, tell me about the guards.  
The rest of the afternoon was spent with Hazel telling Dutch all that Collin had told her about the guards and how security increased the more valuable the goods, how they were hired guns instead of government or city boys. How the docks were crowded and how they were sectioned off. Dutch whipped out a map and she marked off the blocks and labeled each one. Then she told him what she knew about the Blackwater police, how they seemed to run their routs, how fast they responded to various disturbances on each side of town, all the inside information Collin had let slip during their conversations. Dutch had his sights on this boat; it was odd, planning a boat robbery instead of the bank. Hazel thought the bank would be way easier, but apparently the boat had a bigger haul, or that’s what Dutch had been told.   
Half way through it Hosea and Arthur came back into camp and Dutch asked Hazel to go so he could talk with Hosea about everything.   
The sun was setting lower in the sky and all of camp was back that night. Most were too tired to do much, various tiny scores, Charles had been hunting, and John and Abigail had finished their daily fight not too long ago and were sulking on opposite ends of the camp. Hazel was lying in her tent, her head resting on Sean’s chest as he snored in her ear. He and Lenny had been posing as ranch hands on some small ranch called McFarlane’s Ranch and they were dirty and very tired. Her dad had always said honest work was tough work.   
Hazel gave herself the same talk she had given Dutch and her father. She was in love with Sean, Sean was a part of the life that she loved, Sean knew all about who she really was, and Sean was safe and familiar. She would play her part until the job was done and when they left Blackwater she would leave Collin and all her feelings behind.   
Over the next few weeks Dutch planned his boat, Hosea planned his scam, and life in camp ran like it always did. Hazel was ready for it to be Saturday since it would find the gang on their way further west far away from West Elizabeth. Right now she was splitting her time between Collin in Blackwater and her life in camp. She felt herself stretched a little thin, but at least she was too busy to worry much about the upcoming job.   
Dutch’s big plan was to have most of the camp pose as passengers and the rest would be waiting in various locations around the town. Dutch and Mac would show up several minutes apart from each other and then Micah would show up then the others would show up as couples, Javier with Karen, and John with Jenny. Bill, Charles, Lenny, Mac, Hazel and Sean would be in the docks or around town. Dutch, Micah, and Javier would secure the money and split it between the three of them, then they would each take different roads out of town and back to camp while the rest of the gang would stay back in town to make sure there was no immediate danger.   
Hosea wasn’t fond of the whole idea, it put too many of them in town at once and left too few back at camp. Arthur and Hosea would be in town at the same time out of necessity for their scam as they were signing papers to take over ownership of half the company. But Dutch was confident that they could pull it off. The day before Hazel pulled the dress she was borrowing from Karen over her head and asking Miss Grimshaw to help put her hair up. After a month and a half Collin decided she needed to meet his mother. Hazel felt sick at the thought. She had tried to talk him out of it, telling him that her heartbroken uncle was growing restless at their new home and they would probably be leaving soon to join her mother’s family towards Canada. But he had insisted that they should at least have lunch and enjoy the beautiful day. It’s was also Collin’s only day off this week, and that also made Hazel nervous, not wanting Collin on duty when the ferry job went down. It was like the two roles she was playing were getting ready to smash head first into each other. And she was sure that when they did it would be a disaster.   
She mounted Goliath and waved at Bill as he stood guard and made her way back to town. They were meeting at the park and Hazel knew she was going to be late. She pulled Goliath into a slow trot and hitched him to the post across the road, Collin was easy to spot, his red hair always seeming to stand out like a bright beacon in the gray background of the town. He was standing next to an older couple and there was another lady who was holding the hand of a little boy who looked like he would much rather be playing in the nice park they were all standing in. Hazel brushed her dress down and quickly walked over to the group.   
“I’m so sorry I’m late, my horse threw a shoe.” She says as she walks into Collin’s embrace as he opened his arms towards her.  
“It’s alright; it’s only a few minutes, happened to the rest of us.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek as they pulled away and then he motioned at his parents. “Mom, dad, this is Hazel, Hazel these are my parents, Clara and Heston McCourt.”  
“It’s nice to meet you.” Hazel says with a smile, glad she wasn’t showing how nervous she actually was.  
“It’s very nice to meet the lady who has caught my Collin’s eye. I was so worried he would never find a nice girl.” Clara says pulling Hazel into a light hug.  
“More like I ran right into his line of sight. If he wasn’t so sturdy I would have knocked him over when I ran into him.”  
“And this is my sister Heidi and her son Will.” Collin says, his ears turning red at his mother’s words and the laughs that Hazel’s comment had brought.   
“Pleasure to meet you Hazel. I have to agree with my mother, we were all out of hope for poor Collin here. When I was 20 I was married with this rascal on the way.” Heidi says ruffling Will’s hair, the young man grousing at the action.  
“Well I’m only 18 so I guess as long as one of us is under 20 it all evens out.”  
“You’re birthday is in a few weeks, so maybe it’s good that everyone is meeting now.” Collin says as he motions the group down the sidewalk, lacing his arm with Hazel they head towards the nicer restaurant in town.   
The conversation was light and enjoyable and not as awkward as Hazel had been fearing. They were a lovely family, so different than hers, and so different than how Dutch had always said most people were like. Hazel felt a stinging at her eyes when the meal drew to an end and they said their goodbyes. After tomorrow Hazel would never see them again, she would probably not be allowed back in Blackwater for several years.   
It was late afternoon and Hazel talked Collin into riding outside of town with her. The road far away from town into the heart of the plains and she found a high spot and they set up a small camp, Hazel showing more of her true self as they rolled out the bedrolls under the forming stars of the sky.  
“I had such a great time with you today, thank you for meeting my parents so soon. I normally would expose you to them so fast but they were getting impatient to meet you, but I know they love you as much as….I mean…..”  
Hazel felt her belly tighten at his words and she bit her lip, trying not to make this whole thing worse than it was already going to be. But as she looked into his eyes she leaned towards him and captured his lips in a soft kiss. “I loved meeting your family. My family will never be the sit down to dinner type. It was a nice change. I’m just glad I didn’t make a fool of myself in front of them.”  
“You were amazing, please don’t ever forget that.”   
“I’m very glad I met you, I just hope……” Hazel sighs and sits up and crosses her arms. “Listen, whatever happens, all of this….everything that we’ve done….it means more to me than you can even imagine. Thank you.” Hazel wiped a tear from her eyes as Collin sat up and wrapped his arms around her.  
“You don’t have to go ya know. If you’re uncle decides he needs to go, you don’t have to go with him. I’d love to have you stay here. Maybe we can give this a real try. I love you Hazel.”  
Hazel felt her chest tighten as she wrapped her arms around him in return and buried her head in his chest and whispered as loud as she dared, almost afraid that her words would travel on the wind and all the camp that laid a few miles to the east of where they were would hear her confession. “I love you too.”  
They spent most of the night cuddled under the stars and wrapped tight in each other’s arms until the wind across the plains became too cold and they rode back into town, only they both sat on Goliath’s back, Collin’s arms wrapped around her middle as his Saddler trotted beside them. They parted ways outside the hotel, and once Collin was out of sight Hazel kicked Goliath hard in the side and galloped away from town.   
She hoped and prayed that everything tomorrow went off without a hitch, if Collin ever realized who she really was, who she was really a part of.   
She got back to camp very late and she knew she would be so tired tomorrow since she knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep. Sean was in her tent and it just hurt her chest even more, so after she changed out of her dress she walked over to her father’s tent and lifted the flap. He slept on a bedroll on the ground since the hardness was better on his back and she got down on her knees and crawled next her father’s side. Hosea startled in his sleep at the sound and the feel of another person in his tent and reached his hand towards his gun. “It’s just me daddy.” Hazel whispers lying down beside him. Hosea reaches his arm around and wraps his arm around his daughter.  
“You okay?”  
“No, but it is okay if we don’t talk about it right now. I just need you, you always make everything ok.” Hazel tries to keep the sadness from her voice and snuggles deeper against her father’s side. Hosea kicks part of his blanket over his upset daughter and kisses the top of her head.  
“Everything will be okay baby, no matter what it is. Just close your eyes and everything will look better in a day or two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note:  
> So that whole Collin thing did not go the way I was originally planned, but that is where my brain took it. I do really like her seeing both sides. Since she literally lived no other life than the one with group I kinda enjoyed exposing her to the normal people that are in the world. Life isn’t the black and white philosophy that I always felt Dutch liked to teach.  
> I was in a debate on if I wanted to actually write the ferry job but I ultimately decided not to. This is why this chapter is short. The next chapter will start a few days after the job.   
> As I have said previously I have my own theories about why the job went bad and I knew I would write the job out to match my theory and I didn’t want to do that since I know one thing most RDR fans have in common is speculating on how that job went down.  
> I want to thank everyone for the Kudos and thank everyone for reading this story.  
> Next chapter starts the actual game! Huzzah!


	5. Chapter 5: Tooth in the Dirt

Chapter 5: Tooth in the Dirt

“Arthur! Arthur! Arthur!” Hazel cried, shaking the teen’s shoulders as he lay on his cot. He was trying to pretend he was still asleep, but at the alarm in Hazel’s voice he snapped his eyes open and sat up.  
“What’s wrong?” he says scanning the camp for anything that shouldn’t be there. Everything looked fine and even Copper, who was chewing his way through another boot, wasn’t upset by anything and a rabbit running in the woods would normally have his fur on edge.  
“My tooth is gone!” she yells, panic clear in her voice, Arthur looks down at the tear stained face of his little sister, seeing some blood on the side of her mouth and hands. Arthur put two and two together slower than he probably should have, but he had just woken up damnit.   
“Well that happens kid.” He says as he pulls her onto his lap and gives her a small squeeze. “When you get older you have to lose all those little teeth. Happens to everyone.”   
“But I woke up all bloody and I can’t find it! I don’t wanna lose all my teeth! How will I eat?”  
“You’re gonna get new ones. I swear, calm down. In a few weeks a new tooth will be in the spot as the old one, and this one will be even better.”  
“Really?”  
“Yep, I swear. I lost all my teeth too.”  
“All of them?”   
“Yep,” Arthur says pulling his bandana from his pocket and wiping Hazel clean of the blood. “But I grew a new one each time. And you wanna know a secret?”  
“What?”  
“If you find it and put it under your pillow, the tooth fairy will give you some money.” Arthur had to bite back a laugh at how large Hazel’s eyes became. It was rare that money was given out for more than camp improvements and charity work, but when Arthur was 16 he had a molar knocked out after a fall from a horse and Hosea had joked that Arthur was too old for the tooth fairy to visit. Of course Arthur had no idea what the tooth fairy was, his father not being big on that type of stuff. So Hosea and Dutch made him put his bloody molar under his pillow and he woke up and found his tooth gone and ten cents in its place.  
Arthur thought the whole thing was kinda stupid, but it was a nice gesture, and a sign that Hosea and Dutch were going to work hard to try and give him the childhood he never had. The tooth fairy was just a random moment that had stuck with him.   
“But I don’t know where my tooth is?” Hazel says, her eyes darting to the tent that she and Hosea shared, the sides rolled high to cool the tent down.   
“Well, let’s go find it.” Arthur says setting Hazel back on the ground and pushing himself to his feet. They spent the next half hour or so looking for the tooth, Arthur had a feeling she had swallowed it since they couldn’t find it. And that his how Dutch and Hosea found them when they returned to camp, on their hands and knees combing through the dirt for a tiny tooth for the tooth fairy.  
=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=  
The town that Hazel had spent the last month and a half learning every ally and hidden door was suddenly filled with screams and gunshots. Hazel had been standing in the alley beside the stables, she was one of the furthest from the water, but the moment she heard the sounds of shots echoing in the distance she knew it had all gone wrong. Grabbing the skirt of her dress she tucked it into a knot like Karen always did when she was hot, leaving her legs more room to run and giving her more access to the gun she had strapped to her thigh if she needed it. She walked rather than run like she wanted to, but soon she was ducking behind a building as hordes of officers and what looked like bounty hunters and the Pinkertons swarmed the street in the direction of the water and Hazel felt fear grip her chest.   
She ran a few feet and found Arthur and her father by the saloon, they were hiding behind a few turned over tables on the deck when she came running beside them, by this time the firefight was raging from all corners it seemed. “What the hell happened?” Hazel asks as she pops a shot off over the flimsy cover they were hiding behind.  
“No clue, place just got swarmed, we need to get to Dutch.” Arthur says as he angrily shoves bullets into his rifle. “I knew something was off this morning when we got here. Whole place felt wrong.”  
“Listen to me, you two get back to camp, we need to pack and move, that spot in Tall Trees as the meet up, the mountains are our best bet, we run across open country we’re all gonna die.”  
“I’m not leaving you here alone.” Arthur yells before Hazel could.   
“I won’t be, I know where everyone is, we’re not as bogged down here and you can take some of these guys off of me when you go, I have to find Dutch.” Hosea puts his hand on Arthur’s shoulder, “You have to keep our family safe Arthur, you have to get them out of here.”  
Soon Hazel and Arthur are running and gunning their way across town towards where their horses are stashed, Hazel was glad that at least Goliath and Bo were at the same spot, as were Tiama and Boaz. Hazel hated just leaving them there, but Charles and Javier would need to know where their horses were so they were not going to move them. Arthur and Hazel mounted the horses and were making their way out of town, the gun shots were growing closer to the center of town, at least the gang was alive enough to keep moving away from the water. But it also had the fight closer to where Arthur and Hazel were trying to go.   
The roads out of town were blocked off, they had to tightly turn the horses several times and duck past a shower of bullets a few times before they found a break by the church, “Damn it!” Arthur yells as his hat flies off hit head, Hazel was only able to catch it because she was right behind him. Then a few men stepped out from the church building and a shrill, pain filled cry from Boadicea and both she and Arthur hit the dirt, Hazel screamed and pulled Goliath tight to the left and managed not to step on either of them. Arthur let out a yell and three shots from his gun and the men who ambushed them were dead. Arthur kept his gun tight in his hand as he ran his hand over Bo’s neck; Hazel dropped off Goliath and dug into her saddle for anything that might help.   
“I’m so sorry girl.” Arthur whispers as he presses his forehead against her neck, “It won’t hurt much longer.” He pulls his knife and thrusts it into her heart, the soft whiney and a twitch was all she gave. Arthur rubbed his head against her fun a few short seconds before standing up. “We gotta go, we can’t stay here.” He says as he cuts the saddle bags from the worn brown saddle that had been a Christmas gift from Hazel and Hosea years ago.   
“Take Goliath, he’s too slow with the two of us, take him and go.”  
“I aint leaving you in the middle of this!”  
“Use your head! Goliath is slow on the best of days, he’s spooked and piling the two of us on him won’t help him any. Take him and go, I can get back to camp on my own, I know where everyone is going. I’ll be fine. Go!” Hazel says pushing Goliath’s worn black reigns into Arthur’s blood stained hands.   
“Get in cover! I’ll see you soon.” He says giving her a quick hug, putting his hat back on his head, and mounting Goliath in what seems like one effortless motion.   
Hazel watches as he disappears from her view before she grabs her own knife and slices her skirt to her knees and heads off in the direction Charles and Javier were supposed to head too, since it was the closest posting spot to where she was at. The problem was Blackwater was in the middle of the desert and there was no real cover outside of town, and the gun fight was still raging it seemed like, but who actually knew what was going on. She finds another break in the barricades and makes her way back into town, Boaz and Tiama are gone when Hazel gets to where they were hitched. The gun shots are fading now, they must have gotten away, and she needs to get out of here-  
“Hazel.” A soft, gurgle of her name sounds behind her and she spins around and blanches at the sight.  
Mac is holding his stomach, blood dripping from between his fingers, a perfect trail left in his wake, his ear is also missing and his hand that isn’t holding his middle is using his rife as a walking stick. Hazel rushes over to him and grips him tight, easily ripping more of her dress; she ties a strip around his head. “It’s okay, it’s okay, I gottcha, I’ll get you outta here.”  
“Dutch got out, saw him…..John…….shot when the bastards took my ear.”  
“Don’t talk, save your strength, come on, we gotta move.” Hazel feels panic bubbling in her chest but tries to shove it back down, tears burning her eyes as she grabs Mac’s arm and flings it over her shoulders, his rifle hitting the ground behind them with a loud thump.   
His warm blood dripping wet and sticky where his broken body leaned against hers.  
“Never talked to you much, need to make up for lost time.” He says with a grunt and something that sounded like a whimper but neither of them are going to think about that, what it means for a man like Mac to make that sound.  
“Should at least buy me dinner before you bleed on me.” Hazel says as she grits her teeth, Mac is big and heavy and his strength fails with each step and Hazel knows he isn’t going to leave this town with her. But she is going to try.   
“You seen Davey? Haven’t seen him since the boat docked.”  
“I’ve only seen Arthur and Dad, but I’m sure he’s fine, he’s a good shot.” Sweat is pouring down Hazel as their steps slow with each inch they put behind them.  
“Hazel, stop, just stop. I can’t. Hurts. Everything’s getting blurry. Please.” He pleads as his knees give out and they almost hit the ground. Hazel pulls his arm higher and sees they are close to the stables again, she just needs a horse and she can get him outta here. She pulls him into the alley behind a building and props him up against the wall.   
“The stables are right over there, I’ll be right back with a horse and I’m gonna get you outta here, ok?”  
“No, get the horse and go, I’m not gonna make it.” Mac says with a certainty that hurts more than Hazel was expecting. She had never been particularly close with Mac, he was loud and rash, everything her dad had thought her to stay away from. But he was always good for a laugh, nights of him, Davey and Sean around the fire singing drinking songs were the bulk of her memories of him. Seeing his eyes glazed and brimming with tears was more than she could deal with and she pressed a kiss to his sweaty brow.   
“You did real good brother, we won’t forget you. I promise.”  
“I could use some whiskey.” He wheezes out, blood falling from his lips as he shakes head to toe, Hazel digs into the satchel and pulls the half opened bottle and presses it to his lips, he drinks greedily and coughs blood and saliva and whiskey all over her hand when he gulps to fast, the motion causing more blood to flow from his belly onto his jeans. “Thank you, now go!” he says dropping his head against the building, closing his eyes.   
Hazel slowly pulls away from the man and with blurry eyes turns away from him and runs out of the alley, and right into the butt of a gun, her head explodes with pain and her vision goes black.   
“I wanna ride with Uncle Dutch! Can I please papa?” Hazel whines as she tugs on Hosea’s sleeve. The camp was packed up and the group was getting ready to move away from the town they had recently caused a bit of commotion in. Arthur and Susan were in the wagon that held most of the possessions with a newly acquired John sitting between the two of them with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face.  
“You have to ask your Uncle Dutch.” Hosea says pulling his arm free of the constant yanking and looking across the way at his friend who was talking with Annabelle and pulling a last drag from his cigar before dropping it on the ground. Annabelle was sitting on her horse with Copper sitting on her lap wagging his tail, soon the dog would be too heavy to ride on a horse like this, but there was no room on the wagon and if Copper saw a rabbit he would chase it, so he couldn’t be on the ground unless on a rope. Hazel runs over to Dutch and tugs in his pant leg since his arms were resting on Annabelle’s horse.  
“Uncle Dutch!” She says, tugging hard enough Dutch was grateful he had suspenders on or she would have pulled his pants off.  
“Yes Hazelnut?” He says looking down at her with a smile, gently kicking his leg out to push her small body into his line of sight.  
“Can I ride with you? Pretty please?”  
“Why do you wanna ride with him? He’s grumpy.” Annabelle says making a face at Dutch.  
“He is not! You just don’t want me to ride with him because then you can’t kiss him.” Hazel says crossing her arms. The action causing the group to giggle and Dutch shook his head before he scooped the scowling child up in his arms.   
“It seems you have been found out my dear, if you’ll excuse me, my first little lady needs my attention.” Dutch says kissing Annabelle’s cheek before placing the child on his horse and pulling himself up behind her.   
“Thank you Uncle Dutch!” Hazel says as he kicks the horse into motion, “You’re the best.”  
“So are you Hazelnut.” Dutch drops his hat on her head and spurs the horse into a trot.  
Hazel ached all over.   
Her head, arms, legs, middle, she didn’t think there was a part of her that didn’t hurt when the world finally returned to her.   
The sun was low in the sky, there was a cool breeze blowing across her tattered dress causing goose bumps to break out across her thighs, her boots were gone, her hair was down, and there was something sticky on the side of her face.   
She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to pry them open again and only succeeded in opening one while the other remained mostly closed and blurry. She was tied to a tree, her arms wrenched high and tight behind her back, her backside was numb indicating she had been in the same position for some time. She swallowed dryly and turned her head to look around.   
She was in a camp; she could make out Blackwater not too far away, the church a dead giveaway to her general location. It was a big camp, several tents and a few camp fires, some clotheslines, they had been here a little bit. Turning her head the other way she saw Sean tied in a similar position not too far away from her, he was unconscious, his head hanging in a way that was going to hurt his neck and pull his arms away from his shoulders, his red hair was sticking to the side of his face, a darker shade of red than normal. Hazel closed her eyes at the nausea that over took her at the blood all over him.  
Hazel wasn’t squeamish by any means, and she had seen Sean bleed more than most members of the camp since he had a tendency to act first think later, but everything right now was just too much, she wanted to close her eyes and wake up somewhere else. She knew what bounty hunters did to outlaws. Hell, she knew what regular people did to outlaws.   
She wondered if she was heavy enough that the fall would break her neck or if she would have to suffer being strangled.  
A hot sensation filled her eyes and she forced herself to calm down. Having a breakdown would not get her out of this and it sure as shit wouldn’t help her get through the next ten minutes.  
“Look who finally woke up!” a loud voice sounded somewhere to the left of the scared, injured girl. She turned her head and a tall, burly man in a brown jacket smoking a cigarette was leering at her. “Thought I might have hit you too hard back there. Wouldn’t be the worst thing, ridding the world of another one of Van Der Linde’s bastards.” He pulls another long drag and then tosses the butt to the ground and dug it into the ground with his heel. “But here you are, all tied up.” He takes a few steps closer to where Hazel is stuck to a tree when another voice, a bit higher pitched called out stopping the man in his tracks.  
“Shut up Everett. You go spooking her Milton will have your ass.” A new voice, belonging to a man with blonde hair and the smallest gambler hat Hazel had ever seen.  
“She needs to be spooked, damn gang shot up the whole town-.”  
“We were all there, we know what they did. Just go back to your tent.” Small Hat says giving the other man a shove towards the cluster of tents. Everett huffs and flicks the cigarette butt to the ground as he stomps off. Small Hat turns back to Hazel, a smirk crossing his face. “Don’t worry about Everett, he won’t give you any problems as long as you don’t give us any problems.” Then he also walked in the direction towards the tens.  
Hazel let out a shaky breath and blinked her one good eye before she glanced over towards Sean who hadn’t moved an inch. If he was dead they wouldn’t bother tying him up so she wasn’t in this camp alone, but she also knew Sean had a loud mouth when he was cornered and threatened. He would talk plenty of nonsense and lots of profanity that would get him in more trouble than they needed. Hazel leaned her head against the tree and shut out the bright sun.  
Her father had sat her down once when she was thirteen and basically gave her the “you wanna be an outlaw talk” and ran down the risks and what to do in any of the possible situations, the worst one being if the law got her and how to take that death.   
But she wasn’t dead yet. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes and tried to wiggle her hands, testing the rope, it burned and dug into her skin, there were about four coils around her wrists, but they didn’t seem overly tight, or her sweaty wrists were making it easier for her to slip them off.   
So she struggled, pulling against her bonds with all her strength, she gritted her teeth and tugged her arms as much as she could and she fought to keep her eyes opened as the sweat dripped from her hairline into them and stung, but she kept fighting , desperate to get free.   
“Hazel?” a groggy voice sounded to her left and Hazel didn’t spare Sean a glance as she kept tugging.  
“I’m almost loose Sean, just give me a moment.” She grunted out, face red and wrists bleeding, but she felt them give more with each tug, she could do it.  
“I can’t feel my arms.” Sean said softy, his rough voice tugging at Hazel’s heart, Sean wasn’t quiet, quiet Sean was a bad sign.  
“It’s ok. I’m almost out.” She tugs and feels the coils fall down her hands and she lets out a sigh of relief as she pulls her arms away from the tree. Her head is fuzzy and the nausea has returned as she pushes herself to her feet. The world blurs and she slumps back against the tree, pulling deep breaths into her nose and out her mouth.  
She walks over to Sean and tries to tug his ropes off, but the knot is much tighter around his wrists, she can’t make them budge. “I gotta find something to cut them with.” Hazel says looking around the camp, there has to be a knife around here somewhere.  
“Just go, don’t worry about me, get outta here.” Sean says, locking his light blue eyes with Hazel’s blue ones. “You need to go, find the others.”  
“I don’t want to leave you; I can get out outta here.” Hazel argues back, shaking her head at the thought of leaving Sean at the mercy of these bounty hunters.   
“Please, just go.” Sean pleads, gripping Hazel’s hand as tight as his bound wrists will allow.   
“We’ll be back for you, I promise!” Hazel says as she leans forward and presses a kiss to Sean’s lips. They share a brief kiss and Hazel squeezes his hand before she takes off in an unsteady run away from the camp.   
Hazel took off in the direction of Tall Trees, she needed the protection of the trees and not the open plains that lay outside Blackwater. Tall Tress was also where dad said they were going to meet.   
But Tall Trees was a long way away and the shootout must have ended hours ago if the silence around her was anything to go by, but she didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. Tall Trees was her only lead. They never really had a plan past a meet up point If things went wrong, but they were a large group, maybe she could find some trace of them. Charles had taught her a few things about tracking and she might get lucky.   
Her dad had always taught her to worry about the small picture before the large one. She had to get somewhere safe now before she could worry about finding the gang. There were ways to find them in a few days, if nothing else she knew Josiah was heading to New York and she could probably go to him as a last resort.   
She also needed a horse; there was no way she could make it much further without one. She would have to risk stealing one from a person on the road; she couldn’t risk going anywhere closer to Blackwater than she already was. But stealing a horse would probably draw unwanted attention.   
Hazel felt the tears in her eyes again as her mind spun with ways to help her get out of the situation she was in. she just wanted her dad, wanted him to wrap him in his arms and make all this pain go away.   
If he was even still alive. Mac was dead, there was no way he would have been able to survive his injuries. Who else was gone? Over half the group was in Blackwater when it went wrong, Mac had said John was shot, Sean had been captured and he was supposed to be with Charles, Charles was an amazing fighter and Hazel knew he wouldn’t have allowed anyone to just take Sean, so did that mean he was dead too?  
The situation felt hopeless, but she couldn’t stop. She would hang for sure if she was caught.   
The ground was hard and hot under her bare feet, even with all the time she spent running around without shoes her feet were still protesting this rough treatment, leaving blood with each step she took, the forest of Tall Trees didn’t seem to be getting any closer, but Blackwater was getting smaller. Hazel had decided against getting a horse this close to town and had stayed off the main roads, dropping to the ground if a patrol came by, and they seemed to be doing it often. She had a feeling it wasn’t a matter of it they caught her but when.   
But until there was a rope around her neck she would fight to find her family again. So she kept walking, her eyesight growing blurry in shades of blue and purple and everything seeming to slow down with each step she took. She knew her stamina was failing and she needed food or sleep soon, preferable both, but she was still in the open. She stopped and looked around and decided to forgo Tall Trees and head for the river. The Upper Montana was a fast moving river than cut through West Elizabeth, maybe there would be a boat there she could use. Even if the thought of having to paddle a boat made her shoulders ache even more.   
Tall Trees wasn’t an option anymore, she would never get there, so her next option was the river.   
Problem was it was downhill and she was unsteady on her feet and the sun was sinking fast. She started reciting random plant names with each step she took, “sage, milkweed, mint, tobacco, ginseng, thyme.” The list growing longer as the edge to the cliff grew closer, “oregano, yarrow, oleander, burdock root,” soon she found herself at the edge of a small cliff, the water lapping at the shoreline, the sound making her throat tighten. She needed to get some water. She sat down and scooted down the hill on her bottom, the rocks and sand digging into her skin, but soon she was on her stomach in the cool water, quickly lapping as much up as she could, she soon felt her stomach roll in due to the amount she swallowed. But she closed her eyes and lay her head down, the water lapping at her heated skin and before she realized what was happening, Hazel had closed her eyes and fell into an exhausted slumber.   
=/=/=/=/=/=  
Hosea had felt cold before.   
He had survived many winters all across the country. The winter in Michigan being one of the worst.   
Yet this freak mountain snow storm made his very soul ache. But Hosea knew it had less to do with the actual weather than it did his missing child. And the lost members of their family.   
Jenny and Davey were gone. John had been shot in his shoulder, even though the stubborn man insisted he was fine and had made some friends with some wolves soon after he was lost in the storm. But at least he knew where all these people were. Mac, Sean, and Hazel were all missing.   
His daughter was missing.   
Hazel wasn’t well known as an outlaw. Didn’t have the reputation like Arthur or Javier amongst most lawmen, if she had been captured or killed she wouldn’t have made the headlines. Not like they were anywhere near a newspaper seller.   
The old bed in the ran down cabin was hard, but Hosea hadn’t lain down since they’ve been here. Dutch chasing O’Driscolls around and trying to hit a train when they really needed to keep their heads down, try to get information from Blackwater. Hosea sat surrounded by his daughter’s belongings, her journals, pictures, collection of the gangs’ wanted posters. She had at least 7 of Dutch, watching him age on the paper as the years went up. He always thought it was a weird hobby of hers, collecting the wanted posters, but now it was something of her’s that he had to hold on too. A weird hobby of his only child, his child that he didn’t think he would ever see again.  
“Hosea?” a rough voice sounded through the door, followed by a knocking on the rotting wood.  
“Come in Arthur.” Hosea says as he sits up, placing a wanted poster with his face on it dated 1893 on the stack of tattered posters. Arthur pushes the door open, his dirty blue coat engulfing his frame, this torn leather hat pulled low over his head.  
“You didn’t come for supper, brought you some. Charles tracked some deer.”  
“Thank you son.” Hosea takes the bowl that is now cold, no matter how close Arthur held it to his body there was no protection from this cold. At least the storm had broken and they should be able to move out soon. “How is John coming along?”  
“The moron is fine. Gonna have a new face when the bandages come off, but Reverend says he’ll be fine.”  
“You need to be nicer to your brother Arthur, be grateful you still have him.”  
They fall into a silence at that, Arthur picking at his thumb nails as the guilt that had taken root in his belly since he rode out of Blackwater, leaving Hazel there alone, built up until he forced himself to look at the older man. Hosea was the father that everyone deserved and the one that Arthur never wanted to disappoint. And Arthur had left his daughter to die.  
“I’m sorry Hosea.” His voice cracks and he quickly clears his throat before he continues. “It happened to fast, Bo went down, she wouldn’t just go with me. Insisting Goliath would run faster with just me on him. I shouldn’t have left her, but she was insistent, just said that I needed to get back to camp, that she would find someone. I should have just picked her up and tossed her on that damn horse-.”  
“Arthur,” a soft hand lands on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze, “it’s not your fault, you have to understand that. Hazel had a head on her shoulders. And she was right, Goliath is slow and you toss too much on his back he’s going to go slower. You said so yourself that you barley got away from the groups that were outside of town. You wouldn’t have gotten away if Goliath was even a hair slower. You got to camp and got them out before it was raided. Don’t you take that lightly and regret what you did. Hazel wouldn’t want you to.”  
“I hope she found Sean, and that they’re laying low somewhere, doing all that stupid shit we never let them do in camp.”  
“Maybe. Hazel’s smart and Sean has this annoying level of luck that no human should ever have. The two of them together? West Elizabeth better look out.  
=*=*=*=*=*=*=   
Hazel always heard the phrase “needle in a haystack” but after her and Arthur spent about two hours looking through the mess that was her childhood tent for a tiny tooth her phrase had been “tooth in the dirt” that most people didn’t understand but it always made Arthur smile and shake his head.   
Finding a tooth in dirt is what it felt like trying to find her family.   
She had woken up several miles down steam from where she had landed when she fell down the hill. It was late at night, the moon high and Hazel was so shaken and confused she realized later how lucky she was that she had been eaten by wolves or a cougar considering she was in a fairly heavily wooded area.   
She had walked a long time, hours maybe or maybe less, she didn’t really know. She found an abandoned cabin and locked herself in the closet of the bedroom. It smelled and all the ghost stories John liked to tell her jumped into her brain at every sound she heard.   
When the sun finally rose enough to peak under the door of the closet she was hiding in did she get brave enough to leave her closet. The cabin was empty, but there were dark red stains on the floor. There was some old canned food when she searched the place, she had never been so happy to shove canned peas into her mouth. She sat on a chair and prayed it wouldn’t break as she finally looked herself over.   
Her wrists were bruised and scabbed over, it wouldn’t take much to make them bleed again. The blood that had been on the side of her head at the bounty hunter camp had been washed off in the river, but there was a huge bump and bruising on the side of her face, the dress that she had cut up during the gun fight was in even worse shape that she thought a bit of clothing could survive.   
Her feet hurt the worst though. Hell all of her hurt, the cold water had number her body somewhat and she guessed her adrenalin and nerves kept her from feeling it last night, but she felt it now. She felt it everywhere. She just wanted to lay on the bed in the next room, even though it was probably infested with bugs and she had seen a few rats scurry around the room as she ate her peas, she just wanted to close her eyes and block it all out.  
But she also knew she couldn’t. She had to find her family.   
So she set out on foot, and soon realized she was still on the Blackwater side of the Montana River. In fact she was fairly close to the stupid town again, if she squinted she could see the outline of the church. It had taken everything in her not to throw her hands up and just trudge back into town. Maybe she would be shot on sight and her misery would be over.   
Instead she marched back up towards the road and prayed she could make it to the pass over the river. A few wagons had been nice enough to give her a ride down the road a few miles, but since she had no real destination in mind she never traveled too far with anyone. She was tempted to try a rob a few of the nicer, weaker looking ones, but she had nothing to hold any of them up with and the last thing she needed was unwanted attention sent her way. So she kept her head down and told a different variation of the same story to anyone who asked. Abusive husband who kicked her off of their wagon a few days ago, leaving her alone on the side of the road and she was trying to make her way back home to Montana.  
She made it across the Montana River and decided to climb a tree to make her nest for the night. It had taken almost a whole day to get where she was, not wanting to stay on a straight route for too long simple because she had seen a few groups of bounty hunters scattered through the land as she traveled. One wagon she had hitched a ride in was full of a family the was headed for Saint Denis, some huge town down south that would probably make Dutch find the closest soap box to preach his philosophy to all who would listen. The lady that was named Anna had given Hazel a new dress, shoes, and a shawl before they let her off their wagon.   
It took her several days but eventually she looked up and there was a wooden sign that hung over the road that read “STRAWBERRY”  
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*  
“Now that you have robbed your train and we have a hostage, can we please get off this mountain?” Hosea asks as he holds his metal cup over the flames of the fire in the cabin he and Dutch shared.  
“We just need to know where we are going old girl.” Dutch says as he looks over the map that is rolled out on his lap. “We can’t go anywhere near Blackwater yet and I want us out of West Elizabeth. But I don’t want to head too deep south either. Somewhere in New Hanover would work.”   
“Horseshoe Overlook.” Hosea says taking a drink of his now hot coffee. “It’s not too far from Valentine. Bessie and I were out that way for a few months before we went north. It was a livestock town back then and I would bet it hasn’t changed much. It’s away from West Elizabeth and Cornwall doesn’t have a lot of stock in farm animals so the chances of running across his path by chance is slim. And he will be out for blood Dutch.”  
“You have got to stop complaining about the train. It’s done. We have money in our pockets, Arthur sent the train on its way with the innocents, and we’re in the clear.” Dutch rolls up the map and checks the drawers one more time in the cabin, they were heading out tomorrow at first light and the more that was packed tonight the sooner they could get off the mountain.  
“I’ll believe that when I see it.” Hosea downed the rest of his coffee and then shoved his elbow to his mouth as another coughing fit squeezed his lungs. Dutch was patting his back to loosen whatever was irritating the man this time.   
“Valentine got a doctor?”  
“I’ll be fine, we find green grass I can find the herb I need.”  
“Did you use all the ones Hazel had stored up?”  
“There wasn’t much left, she didn’t have a chance to restock before….” He clears his throat and looks down at his shoes. “She was going to pick some more for me on our way out of Blackwater.”  
Dutch walks over and places a hand on Hosea’s shoulder and gives it a squeeze. “We don’t know yet, she could still be out there. Sean and Mac too.”  
“Maybe.” Even though the cup was empty he brought the cup to his lips to force him to swallow his anger back. “Arthur back yet?” he asks as he pushes to his feet, walking away from his friend.  
“Hosea-,” Dutch tried again, just to be brushes off as the older man walked into the snow outside. With a sign he sat back down on the old chair and rubbed his face.   
There weren’t many things that made Dutch question his actions and decisions, but Blackwater was one of them. Hosea had tried to talk him out of the boat job, especially after Hazel had reported the number of guards and patrols by the docks. He and Arthur had a good scam going too, , they had taken a gamble trying to make them both work. The boat was supposed to bring more money than their scam and they needed money to head west into the freedom that still waited for them.   
Then it had blown up in his face and had blown up fast.   
Dutch was close to all of his people, Sean had been the easiest to warm up too, he was loud and cocky and always found humor in everything, Davey and Mac were an inseparable pair that had lost their family farm when the bank repossessed their land when they were kids, their father was killed while hunting and their mother in a stage accident. They were loyal to each other and they were loyal to Dutch. Jenny had a rotten streak and she looked so sweet and was always the best one to bring if you wanted to lift a few wealthy of their wallets and watches.  
Yes Dutch had loved them all, but none of them were Hazel.  
Dutch had held Hazel when she was just a few days old, watched her grow up and become a little hellion on barefeet. Her being gone was hurting everyone, but no one wanted to talk about it because they didn’t want to upset Hosea. Once they got to their new location maybe he could talk to his old friend about how to best honor all the fallen, even Hazel.   
=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*  
“Okay Hazel, grip the reigns firm, but don’t pull them tight.” Dutch says as he sits behind the six year old girl on Duke as they make their way back to camp, one arm tight around her middle, the other hovering above the leather strap in case something went wrong.  
“Can I make him go fast?” she asks after they trotted along the road for a few steps.  
“Not while you’re driving.”  
“Arthur and John always race when they go out.” She pouts.   
“Arthur and John are not six years old. And how many times do I have to tell you to be smarter then your brothers.”  
“But going fast is fun.”  
“If you want to go fast you have to give me back the reigns.” Dutch said, thinking it would be the end of the discussion, only to be surprised when the leather is held out for him to take. Hosea always hated when Dutch ran the horses with Hazel on them. The young girl already liked to copy every dangerous thing her older brother did and the last thing Hosea wanted was for her to get reckless ideas in her head. Even as a child she had been do now think later and it had gotten her in a lot of trouble over the years.   
Dutch sighs and takes control of the horse back and pulls his hat tighter over his head. “Do not tell your father.” He says before digging his heels into the side of the horse and they race across the wooded area. It was one of the many secrets Dutch asked Hazel to keep from her father that involved him and racing his horse fast across the land.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So….I have several reasons as to why I and this story dropped off the face of the universe. I’m very sorry.   
> So here is a new chapter and it’s going to actually start following the game now.   
> I hope everyone likes this chapter, let me know what you think.   
> I want to thank everyone for the favoring and thank everyone for reading this story.


	6. Chapter 6: Getting By

Chapter 6: Getting By  
1888  
“Sound it out Hazel, you can do this.” Dutch says giving the 8-year old girl a nudge with his elbow to try and draw her attention back to the book in front of her trying to hide his own frustration. If Dutch could teach Arthur and John how to read he was going to teach Hazel if it killed him. 

“I don’t wanna.” She says crossing her arms and putting her head on them, her lower lip poking out.

“You need to learn to read, it’s important.”

“Most kids go to school to learn to read.”

“Hazelnut, you know attending school isn’t an option right now. Besides, why do you want to be stuck inside some stuffy building getting your knuckles smacked when you mess up?”

“At least I would have friends my age and not have to sleep on the ground.” She grumps as she straightens in her chair and glares at Dutch who feels his left eye twitch at her words. This has been the never ending argument since they spent the winter months at a large ranch. In order to not draw too much attention to them Hosea had enrolled John and Hazel into the local school. John skipped most of the time but Hazel had enjoyed herself more than any of them had expected considering how restless she always was at camp. 

But there had been other girls her age, something the child had never experienced. Annabelle passed when Hazel was just a few years old and Susan, as much as Dutch loved that woman, was not exactly the companion Hazel wanted or even needed. Hazel had taken well to John but it still wasn’t the same as the relationship she had developed with Anna, Grace, and Peggy at that school. She had even spent several nights at the girls’ homes, causing Hosea to have to meet various parents to help with their story. Hazel had gotten to sleep in actual houses that were decorated and had furniture and all the things that came with having a house.

Then the winter ended and the group needed to move on.

Hazel had begged to stay and live with Peggy and her family, and Peggy’s family had even offered to watch the child until Hosea and his brother found work. Hosea had delayed their leaving by one week so she could at least spend her 8th birthday with her friends before they left the state far behind with the law on their heels a week later. 

Since then Hazel has been moody and distant. Anything she was asked to do, while she would do it, it was half-hearted and not fully finished.

“We’re not having this discussion again. You know why we live this life Hazel-.”

“No, I don’t! Other people stay in one place and have friends and don’t lie about their names and are taught by teachers not bank robbers!” Hazel pushes herself away from the table and tosses the book she had been mumbling from to the ground as she ran into the woods to the left of the camp. Dutch dropped his head into his hands and rubbed at his hair that he swears is turning more and more gray with each fight Hazel had with everyone around the camp. 

Susan had the boys in town to get their haircut because if they put John’s off anymore it would drag on the ground behind him and Arthur just looked like a mountain man if his wasn’t reigned in every so often. Hosea was with Person at the larger town they were by picking out a new spit for the fire. So it was just Dutch left at the camp with Hazel and he wanted to get their lessons over for the day before everyone got back.   
Dutch remembers when Arthur started questions parts of their lives, but he had seen the worst of humanity when he was an orphan on the streets and John had never been interested enough to ask. It was easy to answer questions about his beliefs when his students already had a slight bias towards his way of thinking when it came to the evils of civilization.

Hazel hadn’t been exposed to it. She was kept in camp most of the time since she was so young and when she was in town it was never for long and it was usually for a store or post office run. And of course the one time she is the child has a merry time and found friends and a feeling of belonging that she always acted like was missing at camp. 

Dutch decided he would let Hosea handle this one. Dutch stood up and saved his beloved book from the ground and walked the skirts of the camp just so he could get Hazel’s general location and to make sure she hadn’t left camp. Tantrum or no tantrum if Dutch caught her outside of camp she would be dealt with sooner. Rules were rules and her leaving camp was something she was not allowed to do on her own.   
Several hours past and Hazel had emerged from the woods and tried to sneak into the tent she shared with her father to get her blanket before running back to her hiding spot at the top of a tree. Dutch just shook his head at her failed attempt at stealth. Just another thing she would need to learn when she got older. John and Arthur had to be taught several things, but they had a good foundation of basic survival skills to build off of. Hazel was the blankest slate he had ever seen. 

Dutch was tossing a few logs on the fire to stave off the evening chill when Hosea and Pearson rode back into camp, a large spit and what looked like a newer pot on the wagon behind them. Arthur had come back a bit before them and said that Ms. Grimshaw was taking John pant shopping so he was given leave to head back on his own. Dutch didn’t blame him, John was going through a growth spurt and would have to try on the pants and everyone in that store was going to have a bad time. 

“Arthur?” Dutch calls to the young man who was scratching Copper’s ears and drawing by a tree, “Can you please help Mr. Pearson, I need to have a word with Hosea.” Arthur is up, tossing his journal in the satchel that never seemed to leave his side anymore, and heads towards the wagon, Hosea pats his shoulder in passing before he stops in front of his friend.

“What did she do this time?” Hosea asks, noticing the lack of his blonde little girl in the camp. 

“Another tantrum about school. She’s in that tree over there. Good luck.” Dutch says as he walks past Hosea with a sympathetic smile to help with the spit. Dutch was ready for some better quality food.   
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
1899

Strawberry was an interesting town. 

Hazel had been there a few weeks and after spending one night outside the post office she was offered a place to stay by a nice lady named Maddy Cade and her family. They were a nice family and Hazel had a feeling they weren’t always on the clean path they were on now considering how sympathetic they were to her “plight” of being ditched on the side of the road by her husband and how they overlooked the obvious holes in her story that just didn’t add up the more one thought about it.

Plus Hazel’s wanted posters didn’t just consist of her family. Norman “Skinny” Cade had a small bounty on his head from several years ago down south somewhere. He wasn’t someone the law was actively looking for. And since Strawberry basically patrolled themselves, if there was word on him going around town he would know before they could do anything. 

Normal was a part-time hunter and a full-time woodworker. The town was small but was trying to be more grand than it actually was and Normal was busy more times than not and their son, a sweet 13-year-old boy named James were always in the woods cutting timber or working on the very grand and somewhat stupid looking hotel on the other end of town. 

Hazel had slept the first few days she was at their home away, her body just giving out after basically walking the whole stretch from Blackwater to Strawberry in the rain and cold from the freak storm that had apparently dumped a lot of snow up north. When she had finally woken up she could finally open both her eyes and move her shoulders without a lot of pain. She was still yellow and bruised but she was getting better. 

She was working light shifts at the doctor’s office cleaning so she could go a small way to repay Maddy and Norman for all they had done for her. Maddy thanked her and would only take a few coins from her outstretched hand every time Hazel got paid. They spent their evenings talking about little things and Hazel found out that Norman had been all over the map, his stories were always a little weird, like he was leaving things out or giving minor details about the story. Their running narrative was Norman was a wondering drunk who changed his ways when he met Maddy.   
Love got her dad out of the life and, as much as Hazel hated the woman, Mary would have been the one to get Arthur from the life. 

All in all, her “life” in Strawberry was good. 

But she was still itching to find her father. The newspapers were of no help. Just articles that told about the lock down in Blackwater and how “Dutch’s Boys” had fled north and had disappeared into the storm. She had a slight glimmer of hope when an article about a train robbery was top story about a month into her stay in Strawberry, but Hazel didn’t think that the group would be that dumb as to rob a high profile train while they were running from federal agents. Hazel had thought about moving on once she was fully able to travel again and purchase a horse, but in reality she had no idea where to even look. They had used the fake name “Greg Lamberus” when they were in Blackwater and the next one on the list would be “Amos Millson” but Hazel couldn’t just write coded letters and send them to every post office she could find and hope she got a response. The few times the group had been split in the past a coded letter was left at the last camp, and there was no way that they would have had time to leave a letter and there was also no way she was going near Blackwater to look for an invisible note.

She had a feeling that she would spend her legally gotten money on a train ticket to New York where she might be able to track down Trelawny. But even that was probably a waste of her time. New York was a big place and Trelawny could disappear in a place like that. 

But until she had enough money to get that train ticket she was going to enjoy her “civilized” life in the tiny town of Strawberry.   
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1899

Horseshoe Overlook hasn’t changed much since the last time he was here. Hosea was one of the last to arrive at the new camp since Arthur decided to bust the wagon wheel. Reverend Swanson greeted him not long after Dutch gave his “make money” speech and asked him what to do with Hazel’s trunk and tent. Hosea told him to set the tent up, put Hazel and his stuff in there. When Hazel was 12 or 13 her birthday gift had been a very small tent of her own. She being the only young girl he and Dutch thought it would be a good idea. Hosea had downsized into a lean-too that he now shared with Lenny. The lean-too was good for him. Fresh air for his lungs and lots of open space for him to crawl out of when his age reared its head in the middle of the night, it also made life easier to see what Sean was up too after he and Hazel became a thing.

Hosea wasn’t going to let a good tent go unused because of who it belonged to, he would use the tent. But the real issues was her trunk full of things, Hosea had it brought into the old cabin in Colter but other than a few glances he hadn’t actually gone through it. He didn’t want to, because going through it would mean she was actually gone. Mac and Davey’s trunks had been left in Blackwater, but all they really had were clothes and liquor. Sean didn’t have trunk of his own, he shared with Lenny since the pair were as inseparable as any two people could be. Hosea knew Lenny wasn’t going to toss Sean’s stuff until he knew for certain. Jenny’s had been buried with her. 

The first night was the most relaxed most of the gang had been since Blackwater. Warm and fed since Charles went and found a deer and a turkey. Hosea sat on a rock by the cliff and watched most of the group shared a good meal by the fire, Javier strumming his guitar. Abigail was sitting next to Ms. Adler who was calmer than she had been when they were in the mountains, but she was still suffering. Hosea knew what it was like to lose one’s spouse, but Bessie hadn’t been murdered so even he couldn’t fully understand her pain. 

Plus he would be of no use to her while he was still trying to decide if he needed to mourn his daughter or not. 

Arthur was under orders to bring him a paper from Valentine. If any of their people were captured in Blackwater it might be in there. Bait for a rescue attempt or just to show the lawmen had actually done something successful after the shootout. But even he thought it was a long shot. Hazel was only wanted in a few places they had been, folks from Blackwater would mainly be after himself and Dutch, maybe even Arthur since it was a well-known fact that Arthur ran with them. 

Hosea sat at the domino table and dealt out a hand of Solitaire not really feeling like socializing too much. He remembers teaching all the kids this game, it was a good way to teach them how to count and even strategize a little bit. It wasn’t as good of a strategizing tool as the chess that they “played” with Dutch, but it was easier to get antsy teens to play card than it was chess. 

“Mr. Matthews, you need to eat.” A sharp voice sounded to his left, Hosea just flipped a card over and moved the 4 of spades to his pile. 

“No thank you Ms. Grimshaw, I’m going to pass tonight.”

“No you are not. We need you strong right now and passing up on perfectly good stew is not going to keep you strong.” She says plopping the metal bowl in the middle of his hand.

Hosea sighed and set the draw stack on the table and started pushing his food around with the metal spoon. 

“I miss her too Hosea. I miss them all. Hazel, Jenny and my girls always got into something. All the pranks they would pull on each other. Jenny was a sly one. All that pretty blonde hair and tiny face was really misleading. Her and Hazel were the perfect combination of smart of inconspicuous.”  
“Jenny was happy picking pockets and scouting. Poor girl didn’t deserve to be shot off her horse and drug across the desert. But at least we know where she is, we were all able to be with her in her last moments.”

“Hazel’s a strong girl, if anyone made her way out of that mess it’s her. You have to have faith in that.”

“I don’t know how much faith I have left anymore. I feel something, like a dark cloud hanging over the horizon that you know will drop a major storm and you see it getting closer, but the more you look the slower it moves.” Hosea finally just pushes the bowl away from him, not eating a bite. “I just want peace. We had a good thing going, we pushed our luck, and now here we are. Missing men, dead women, and my daughter…..this little girl who was supposed to put me in the ground is just gone. If I ever get her back she’s not leaving this camp.”

“When we find her Mr. Matthews, you won’t be able to keep her in camp. You know she has her heart set on helping with a bank job this year. Been counting down to her 19th birthday for a long time. Something magical always happens on her birthday, she might surprise you yet.” Ms. Grimshaw stands and pats his arm before she pushes his bowl closer to him again and walks away. 

Hosea picks his spoon back up and scoops a random leaf into his mouth, the wild game flavoring the already bitter herb more and Hosea drops the spoon back to the bowl and moves it off his cards and picks his draw stack back up. He needs to find the ace of diamonds.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The crazy taxidermist was in town today, bringing a bear that was going to be in the new hotel. Most of the woman and children stayed away from the main road while she was around. She seemed nice enough if not a little jumpy and…..strange.....that was the only word Hazel could think of while she watched the commotion by the store. A new paper was due for delivery from Blackwater and she was hoping to hear something this time, but she wasn’t holding her breath. She pulled a drag from the cigarette as she flipped the card with a panther on it around in her hand. She didn’t need this one, she had several of these in her trunk.

So maybe she didn’t have several of them anymore. She thought darkly as she pushes it into the new satchel she had gotten made by the trapper that was making his rounds around the area. It wasn’t as nice as the one Pearson had made for her a few years ago, but it was what she needed right now, something to hold her stuff in, which wasn’t much. But there was new poster for her collection. Seeing Micah’s face on the wall outside the post office was not something she was looking for, but it had caught Norman’s eye and when he stopped and stared at it Hazel saw it too.   
If she ever saw him again maybe she could turn him in for the bounty. He wasn’t worth as much as her father, but he wasn’t a cheap find either.   
“What a lovely town dear, just look at this place!” a soft voice sounds to her right, Hazel turns her head and sees a young couple walking away from a loaded wagon, all the stuff they had were strapped tight to the walls of the open wagon, two shire horses heaving as they dunk their heads in the water trough. “Think anything up north will be this nice?”

“Don’t count on it Charlotte, we’re up here to get away from this, start our new life.”

They were a handsome couple, young and painfully obviously city folk who wanted to see the wilds of America. Hazel gives a small smile and tips her hat as they walk past her into the store. Another puff on the cigarette, she still didn’t get what everyone liked about these things, her chest felt tight as she released the gray cloud back into the air. She mainly puffed on it as a way to curb her nerves as she waited in this town for either word or her wallet to….grow…….

Hazel smiled and tossed the cigarette on the ground as she walked back to Norman’s house and pulled out the new bandana she bought, her purple one being lost along some Blackwater street, and the old cattleman she had been given by a nice, yet very hyper and fast talking red haired man with a birthmark over his right eye she had ran into while she was herb hunting. She pulled her hair off her face and neck and knotted her skirt at her left knee. Hopping on Hoagie, Maddy’s saddler that she didn’t ride very often since she didn’t leave town much, and rode to the post office to watch the couple finish their shopping from across the street. She even had time to buy a new paper from Gabe and skim the only title that said “Blackwater” before the couple came out of the store. She watched as they got on the wagon and slowly made their way out of town. 

Hazel waited until they were over the crest of the hill before clicked at Hoagie and slowly trotted off after them. She just needed them far from town, she just wanted their money. They looked like they had plenty stashed in that wagon to last them, they wouldn’t miss a few bucks and she needed that few bucks.   
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Morning falls over the camp and Hosea lays in bed and listens to the camp come to life. This tent had been through a lot and Hosea hadn’t realized how many patch jobs it had been through. Signs of his daughter’s horrible sewing skills evident in the uneven stitching and the odd shapes of the patches that are on the canvas make his heart ache. Most of the girls are up and they are all over by the fire spit drinking the swill that they all like to pretend is good. The O’Driscoll boy whimpers from his spot by the tree as Micah jerks him to his feet for the day. Pleas that have long since grown stale and old still fall from his mouth, but not as loudly as days before, it had been a long time since they boy had been feed a proper meal, but he knew Mary-Beth was sneaking him food from time to time. 

“Hosea?” a voice calls from outside the tent.

“Yes Abigail?”

“Can I come in?” She asks unsure, her voice soft and calm. He softly sighs and pushes himself into a sitting position, pulling his pants back over his union suit and shrugging on his blue shirt.

“Come in, but leave that bribe coffee outside.” He says as he pushes Peanut the threadbare horse under the blanket as Abigail pushes the canvas aside with a soft smile.

“I thought you might like something warm this morning.”

“I’m quite alright, what brings you my way?”

“John wants to get out of bed and I was wondering if you thought he was well enough to do so?”

“Well his face didn’t split open on the trip down here, if he can survive that rocky ride I’m sure he can stand up a move slowly around the camp.”

“He wants to find Hazel. I can’t get it out of his fool head, he swears he saw her when he was dragging Davey out of Blackwater, says she was with a lawman. He swears she’s alive and he won’t-.” She freezes in her words as if finally remembering who she was talking too. “I’m sorry. I just know if anyone is going to talk some sense into him it’s you. I’m not saying I don’t want to find her, I do. Sean and Mac too. But John is not the person who needs to go traipsing all over West Elizabeth and ends up with the law right next to her.” 

“I’ll talk to him. He still where he’s supposed to be right now?”

“Should be, I left Karen with him, John’s a tough idiot, but even he wont be too cross with a hungover Karen.”

Hosea nods and grabs his boots from the ground and Abigail leaves him to finish dressing in peace. He just gets the scarf that John and Arthur had bought him as a Christmas gift years ago when he hears Arthur’s gruff voice carry angrily over the camp. 

“Damn it Marston, you are in no shape to go riding around the place, let alone dragging that ugly mug into a town crawling with Pinkertons you idiot!” 

Hosea rubs at his forehead as he steps out of his tent and sees Arthur holding tight to Old Boy’s reigns. John had stolen a horse on his way out of Blackwater with Javier, Old Boy being one of the horses that helped pull a wagon across the states. A good thing too since the horse John had been on died in the mountains.

“I’m not going into the town Morgan; I’m going to find Hazel. She was flung over the back of a bounty hunter; you know what those man are like. I can’t just sit here, I gotta go do something. Now stop foolin’ around.” John says back through gritted teeth as he tries to pull the leather from the tight grip.

“Bounty Hunter or not the damn place is on lockdown, you won’t do her no good if you get captured right beside her.”

“I swear to God-“

“ENOUGH!” Dutch’s voice yells before Hosea can even get his mouth open. Hosea turns and sees Dutch storming over to their wayward sons, tossing his cigar angrily to the ground. “John, Arthur, that is enough from the two of you. All it’s been for the past several years is petty bickering and name calling and I am through listening to it. Arthur, I told you to get to Valentine to check on Bill, Javier and Charles. And John, you just got out of that damn bed, the last thing you need is to be riding all over the damn map for a missing person that you have no idea where to even start looking. Get away from that damn horse and carry a flour bag if you’re itching to do something.” With the boys looking properly scolded and glancing at Hosea too see what he would do. 

Hosea walks over and places a hand on both of their shoulders. “You better get going Arthur, you know how Bill gets when he’s around new people. You’ll be breaking up a bar fight if you wait any longer.” Arthur nods and tosses the leather straps hard towards John who catches them with a flinch as the sudden movement tugs at his recently stitch free skin. “John, thank you for trying to find Hazel, but Dutch is right. Blackwater is a deathtrap for most of us right now, and you’ll stand out with your lovely new face. If Hazel is alive she’ll find us. If she taught me anything it’s to always have faith in family. She never stopped having faith in you.”  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The horses pulling the wagon had more stamina than Hazel was expecting. But as hilly and woody this area was it wasn’t too hard to keep track of them, plus they had stated very loudly that they were headed north and there was only so many ways to go north from Strawberry. Hazel cut a path through the woods and waited at a fork and pulled her bandana up and waited. 

She had never held up a wagon on her own, she usually had at least one other person, usually Sean or Lenny, with her. But she had been the person doing the actual holding for years. A teenaged girl was always unassuming and most wagons stopped for her. She plucked at the edges of her thumb nail and strained her ears for the sound of anything. 

She heard birds, squirrels running through the leaves at Hoagie’s feet. 

“They’re not in any hurry so why should you….” Dutch’s voice echoed in her mind, he always knew when she was nervous while waiting to hit something. Taking a deep breath she closed her eyes and went over her plan in her head one more time. She just wanted the cash. Unless they had it buried in the never ending sea of crap in the wagon it shouldn’t take that long. City folk usually didn’t put up too much of a fuss.

Hazel opened her eyes and sat up straighter in the too big saddle for this horse and gripped the gun tight in her hand. The sound of the horse was close, Hazel took a deep breath and kicked her spurs into Hoagie’s sides, the horse pausing enough in shock that when she ran out of the woods the couple on the wagon screamed as they almost collided. Hazel quickly pulling to the right to avoid actually hitting the much larger shire house, she whips her gun towards the couple and pulled the hammer back. “All your cash, out of your pockets, now!”

“Oh God, Cal!” The lady stammers loudly as her hands flutter to the air.

“Now, we can talk about th-.”

“Do I look like I want to talk? Cash now!”

“We-we don’t have much, just-.”

“I didn’t ask how much you had, just hand it over. Cash only!” the man desperately pats the pockets of his vest. Hazel’s heart is hammering and she is trying not to look around too much, needing to keep as focus as possible. “Don’t make me shoot you for moving so slow!”

“Ok, ok, I’m-here!” the man tosses a brown wallet at her. Hazel catches it and motions for the man to put his hands up. 

“Now was that so hard? Welcome to the wilds, have a good day.” She tips her hat and clutching the wallet close she rides hard from the wagon. 

She rides the long way back to Strawberry, pulling the wallet open as she goes she almost cries when she sees 2 $10.00 bills and a few loose coins. She has enough to get that ticket to New York and she can even leave a little extra behind for Maddy and Norman. 

She smiled the whole time as she walked back from the stables that housed Hoagie. The sun was going down when she walked into the house and later that night when she laid down on her bed she had a new since of hope. She was so happy. If anyone could get her back to her family it was the crazy man that was in New York.   
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Hosea tossed his book to the side, the sun too low in the sky for him to read anymore. The calm that had settled over the camp was disrupted as a loud man on an appaloosa came riding into camp. Dutch greeted Josiah like a lost son come back from the dead. Josiah had many faults but he always had good information, but Hosea was surprised to see him since he had taken off a few weeks before the Blackwater heist went down to chase his fortunes in New York.

Hosea just waved and stuck in nose back in his book, he wasn’t in the mood for the shit show that Josiah and Dutch always got up too. Two outlaws who always tried to one up each other with their outfits and ideas. They had ridden off into town to check on the four men they had sent that direction earlier that morning. Arthur had been back once to drop a high Swanson on his bedroll then he hadn’t been seen since. 

Hosea was scrapping the bottom on the metal bowl to get the last bites from it, having not eaten the day before he was actually a little hungry. The camp was still keeping their distance for the most part, he would hear the other’s whisper Hazel’s name but they would be shushed almost immediately by someone. Sean, Jenny, and the Calendar boys weren’t talked about much either. Hosea opened his book trying to find where he left off when the most annoying voice that existed decided Hosea needed company.

“What you readin’ Old Feller?” Micah sneers as he sits down across from him, beer bottle sloshing with his movements.

“Just a book.” Hosea says behind gritted teeth. 

“You don’t like me much do you?”

“No. Not much.”

“When you’re dead I’ll miss you.”

“I don’t imagine the feeling’s mutual.”

“Maybe we can burry you next to Hazel. If you ever find her body.” Micah lets out a low chuckle.

Hosea’s eyes flash as he pushes away from the table, tossing his book at Micah’s face and pulling him gun from belt. “You watch just who the hell you’re talking to boy. I’ll drop you where you stand if you mention my daughter one more time.”

“Woah, easy Old Feller.” Micah says as he holds his hands up, the grin on his face not dropping far. “I didn’t mean nothing by it. But if Davey didn’t make it what makes you think that she did. Dying is an occupational hazard for bank robbers. You wouldn’t be so damn miserable if you just excepted shes gone.” Hosea pulls back the hammer and points it between his eyes, his anger bubbling hot in his stomach. 

“Micah! Get the hell away from him!” John says as he storms over and pushes Micah back several steps from the table. “The hell is wrong with you?”

“Just some advice, John. Old man’s been pouting around the place since we left Blackwater. He’s been a real dark rain cloud that sucks all joy from the world. I just wanted to give him some friendly advice. I’ll leave you to your book.” Micah says, reaching down and tossing the book back towards Hosea before walking off towards the scout fire.

John and Hosea glare daggers at the retreating blonde man and John’s fists clinch at his sides as he tries to not chase after him and stab him in the back. Hosea slowly lowers his gun and puts it back in his holster.

“One day that idiot is going to mouth off to someone and he’s gonna get a bullet in his brain.” John crosses his arms and glances at Hosea. “Hey, ignore whatever the idiot said. Like you told me this morning, faith.” John pats the older man on his shoulder before heading over to the pot for his serving of stew. 

Hosea picks up his book and goes over to Silver Dollar and decides he needs something stronger to drink than what’s in camp.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
1888  
Hosea dug around in the never ending mess that was the tent he shared with his daughter until he found a book with green faded letters that was wrinkly from water damage and random scribbles from pens that little hands had found years ago. He also grabbed a stuffed horse that had once been a dark brown but now had various patches of difference colors all over the threadbare body. Peanut the horse had been through a lot in the last eight years.   
With the items in his hand Hosea walks over to the tree and looks up at the branches and sees his little girl pressed tight against the bark of the tree with her head buried in her blanket covered knees. He puts the book and toy down and tosses his coat on them so she won’t see them. They need to have a talk about her attitude first. “Knock knock” Hosea says as he tosses a stick into the bundle of leaves to the left of Hazel. “Mind coming down here young lady.” Hosea says when her eyes look down to see who was messing with her.  
“Don’t wanna.”  
“If you’re not down here by the time I count to three you’re going to wish you were in a taller tree. Down here. Right now Hazel” At his tone she doesn’t have to be told twice. When she drops with a small thud on the ground she takes several steps away from him and crosses her arms.   
“I’ll apologize to Uncle Dutch” she says quickly and flatly.  
“Yes you are, but not before we have a little talk. I’m not sending you to Dutch until you know exactly what you are apologizing for. Come on.” Hosea holds his hand out, motioning for her to follow him. He’s not surprised she doesn’t take his hand as they start their walk, but it still bugs him a little.  
They walk a few minutes in silence, in a big circle so they keep passing by the tree they started at, until the last of the tension that she hadn’t worked out stuck in the tree leaves her body and she just deflates, her shoulders and arms dropping heavy to her sides.   
“I’m sorry dad. I really didn’t mean it.”  
“I know you didn’t. But that doesn’t change the fact that you did it does it?”  
“No. Is Uncle Dutch mad at me?”  
“He’s frustrated with you, maybe even a little disappointed. All Dutch wants is for you to know how to survive when you are older. We live in a nasty world Hazel. A nasty world with nasty people. Yes, not everyone is nasty or corrupt, but there are plenty of people that are.”  
“The ranch wasn’t nasty. They were nice and you and Uncle Dutch had real jobs and Arthur was close to Mary, there were a lot of nice things and I just don’t get why we couldn’t just stay there.”  
“Do you remember what we did with the money we got from the bank?”  
“Yeah, gave lots of it the poor.”  
“And what did a lot of them say when we gave them the money or food?”  
“That we helped them.”  
“Would we have been able to help them if we stayed at the ranch?”  
“No.”  
“And that is why we couldn’t stay at the ranch. I liked it there too Hazel, it was nice having a bed and watching you have friends your age and all the good things that happened there. But that’s not the life we can have if we want to help people. We live like we do so that others will have a better chance at living like your friend Peggy. That make sense?”  
“Yeah….but……if what we do is the right thing, why would you get in trouble for it?”  
“Because to most people what we do is wrong.” They reached the tree again and Hosea stopped walking and grabbed his coat from the ground and pulled it over his shoulders before he sat on the ground and Hazel sat next to him, finally leaning against his side as he wrapped an arm around her. He handed her Peanut and opened a copy of “Peter Pan.” Hazel snuggled Peanut into her chest and ran her fingers over the faded green title of the book. “Remember this story?”  
“Yeah, Robin Hood and Little John steal money from the evil prince.”  
“And what did they do with money? Did they spend it on themselves?”  
“No, they gave it to the poor people.”  
“And didn’t Robin Hood and Little John have to live in the woods? Live in secret? Even though what they were doing was for the good of the poor?”  
“Yeah…..so…..we’re Robin Hood?”  
“Sort of. We do good work, but we have to do what some consider an evil to do that good. We move around and live out here so we can keep doing the right thing.”  
“So what you do is only bad because they people you take it from are bad?”  
“The world isn’t just black and white like that. There are people that have too much, have more than they could ever use in a lifetime. Then there are people who have nothing. Sometimes the people who have everything wont give to the people have nothing. So we help them out with that. You don’t look at Robin Hood like the bad guy, you look at him like a hero.”  
“So you and Uncle Dutch do what you do to help people?”  
“Yes, and we’ve helped a lot of people. Look at Arthur and John, they wouldn’t be alive if we didn’t help them. We do more good than harm living like this.”  
“At the end Robin Hood gets to have his house with Maid Marion, will we have a house at the end too dad?”  
“I hope so Hazey. I hope so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: This chapter was out a lot faster. I started a new game in RDR2 to help me keep all the missions in order and the stranger encounters in the right area. I’ve been free-roaming with John for a while and the moment Arthur’s face gets on my screen I just lose mind he’s so awesome and there will be more of him next chapter.   
> I want to thank everyone for taking time out of their day to read this.   
> I’m sorry for any spelling and grammar errors that litter this thing. It’s hard to catch them all when I look over it.   
> According to Google Solitaire was a thing as early as 1798.  
> The conversation between Hosea is based off a random camp encounter that I always seem to get before Arthur and John go steal some sheep. If I bother freeing the moron that soon.   
> Norman and Maddy didn’t have a last name that I could find so I made one up. And I’m pretty sure the teen who asks Arthur to help find his dog is their son, but I couldn’t find a name their either.


	7. Chapter 7: Getting Out

Chapter Seven: Getting Out  
=========================================================================================  
Chapter 7: Getting Out

1885

Uncle Dutch, your nose is all yucky.” Hazel says as she hands him a rag that she had been trying to stitch back together. 

“You are not getting out of your sewing that easily missy.” He says as he pushes the rag back at the girl with one hand and pulling out his older bandana out of his pocket to wipe his nose. Dutch was fairly annoyed with his current predicament, if it wasn’t for his wayward sons he wouldn’t be bundled head-to-toe as close to the fire as he could be without catching ablaze himself, being constantly hounded by the mother hen that was Hosea when any of them got sick. 

Dutch hadn’t been on the receiving end of this in a while. Then Arthur and John had gotten into a shoving match and John ended up in the river. Arthur jumped in after him and Dutch had to go fish them both out since the current was strong from the recent rain fall.

And only Dutch had gotten sick.

“You still sound gross too.” Hazel shrugs as she stabs the needle back into the ripped fabric. 

“Thank you, just what I always wanted to hear.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t talk?” Hazel says after a few very short minuets of silence. “That’s what papa always tells me when I sound like you?”

“Uncle Dutch doesn’t know how to not talk.” A stern voice came from behind the pair, a cold hand was planted firmly on Dutch’s forehead as Hosea checked if he had a fever or not. “I don’t know if you’re as hot as you feel or if my hand is just cold. But you definitely have a fever.”

“You should kiss his head papa, that’s how you always know if I have a fever?”

“I don’t think Uncle Dutch wants me to kiss him. Why don’t you go find Arthur and tell him to come find me please?” Hosea says while he flips his hand over on Dutch’s forehead to try and get a better read on his friend’s overall body temperature. Hazel tosses the rag to the ground, the needle disappearing into the crab grass, as she runs towards the boys who were cleaning the guns. Hosea wanted to roll his eyes; someone would run it into the bottom of their foot before the week was out.

“Hell of a time for Annabelle and Susan to go on a trip.” Dutch says with a cough.

“I know, with them gone there is no one to help me keep you in line.” Hosea says as he digs into the trunk at the base of the wagon that held most of their supplies. 

“I look after myself just fine Old Girl.” Dutch snuffles as he pulls the blanket tighter around his shoulders.

“Sure you can. That’s why you were getting lectured by a five-year-old.” The older man says as he pulls out his mortar and pestle along with a handful of dried herbs, plopping himself down on the fallen log they used as a bench around the fire. 

“She’s turning into a mother hen like you. She keeps this up the boys are in for a hassle when she’s older and learns she can boss them around.”

“I think she already knows she can boss them around, she just doesn’t realize how much. Now shut up, you keep straining your voice and the world will never get to enjoy any of your speeches.”

“I don’t-“

“I said shut up.” Hosea says, tossing a handful of useless stems at the sick man. 

A few moments later, Hazel perched on Arthur’s shoulders, walked towards his father-figures. “Still feeling under the weather Dutch?”

“I feel-.”

“Dutch is not opening his mouth at the moment son. I need you to run into town for me and pick up a few things. I’ll write them down for you.” Hosea stands and sets the mortar down before pulling Hazel off of the man’s shoulders. “You sit right here and don’t let you Uncle Dutch say one word.” Hosea drops Hazel on the bundled man’s lap, causing Dutch to grunt at the sudden weight. Hazel was growing like a weed. “I mean it Dutch, not a word.” Hosea gently pushes Arthur towards his tent to make out his list.

Hazel locked eyes with Dutch and barley blinked, a very serious look plastered on her face.

“Hazelnut, what-.”

“Shh!” she says, pressing her finger hard against his mouth. “Papa said no talking.”

Dutch let out a sigh and wrapped his arms around the girl and slouched down in his chair, there were worse ways to spend the day than with his best girl in his arms.  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
1899

“Hazel, we already told you that you didn’t have to pay us back.” Maddy says as she tries to give the money back.

“I know, but I want to give it to you. A thank you for all that you did. Most people wouldn’t have taken me in and cared for me. This is the least I can  
do. I’m leaving as soon as the coach returns. The postman it’s due back tomorrow afternoon. I intend to leave when it gets here.”

“Where will you go?” She asks as she finally takes the green bills from my hand and places them on top of the fireplace.

“I’m going to take a stage to Riggs Station and then a train ticket home. If Strawberry had a train station I’d be gone sooner. I have to go home.”

“I’m going to miss you. This past month has been so much nicer with your extra help. You’ve helped us so much.” Maddy wraps Hazel in a hug. 

“You’ll always have a place here.”

“Maddy, give the girl some room to breathe.” Norman says with a small laugh as Maddy pulls away, wiping her eyes.

“I’m sorry. I knew you would go, I just can’t believe it’s happening so fast.”

“I saved up more than I realized, and the longer I wait the more they worry.”

“Didn’t you write them and tell them where you were? I thought you did that weeks ago, I know that you said they were trying to get to New York but I figured you would have heard from them before traveling all that way?” Maddy asks as she walks back towards the kitchen of the small cabin.

“I did, I just didn’t hear anything back, and mail gets lost all the time. If they did make it all the way to New York I want to be there sooner.”

“That it does. Well, we are going to enjoy one last family meal before you go.”  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
Night fell over the small town, yet Hazel could not sleep. Wrapped in the shawl Maddy had given her over dinner, apparently she had been waiting to give it to her for a few weeks now, Hazel went out to the back porch and watched the water glisten in the moonlight. It reminded her of some of the camps that had been set up by moving water. John always stayed as far from it as possible, so Arthur would pitch the tent they shared as close to it as he could get away with. John slept outside a lot when they had been younger. 

“Can’t sleep?” a deep voice sounds from the doorway, causing Hazel to jump. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.”

“It’s okay Norman. That’s what I get for day dreaming.”

“Is it still day dreaming if it’s night?” he says as he sits on the chair beside her, lighting a cigar that he pulled from his pocket.

“I think so, because night dreaming is what you do when you’re asleep. And as you said I am very much awake.”

“I wish I was dreaming.” He blows out a billow of smoke and Hazel takes a breath, it’s the same brand that Dutch smokes on occasion. “You ready to face the big city in a week or so?”

“I’ve never been to a place as big as New York, it will be a big change that’s for sure.”

“It’s big, buildings are closer together than they are here.”

“When were you there?”

“Years ago. I was seventeen when I ran away from home and somehow I ended up there, not for very long though. I was more for the open spaces than big buildings.”

“When I was little my family ended up in Montana for a few months. You’ve never seen more open sky, it went on for miles, and at night when the starts were shinning…..there wasn’t any need for a fire to see by.”

“You’re family seems to move around a lot. You seem to have a story about everything.”

“So do you.” Hazel says as she turns in her chair and looks at the taller man. “I think you and I both know the kind of life that leads to all that travel.”

“That we do, I haven’t been a wanted man in several years and I plan on keeping it that way.”

“I won’t say anything. You and Maddy helped me so much when no one else would even glance in my direction. If anything it’s amazing what you’re built here. I don’t know if I could ever live a different life.”

“I didn’t think so either, then I met Maddy and before I knew it James was here. I didn’t want to raise my family in that life, and the people I was with wouldn’t have really let me anyway. They weren’t the best of people.”

“My father tried to get out when he met my mother, and then she passed a few days after I was born. He was alone and he knew he couldn’t do it alone. I’ve never lived another way. I need to find them. My pa, brothers, everyone else….I need to find them.”

“How did you get separated from them? They sound like a big group?”

“Now that is a long story and one I don’t actually know the answer to. It happened very fast and before I even knew what was happening I was alone. New York is my only lead.”

“If you get there and you can’t find your family I want you to know that you can always come back. Maddy and I would love to have you here.”

“Thank you Norman and I might have to take you up on that offer since New York is really a shot in the dark.”

The man smiles and stabs out what was left of his cigar before standing and stretching out his back. “I better get to sleep, but if I were you I’d stay awake as long as possible and sleep that boring train ride away.” He pats my shoulder. “I have to get the last of McKay’s order cut in the morning, but I’ll be there to see you off. Goodnight.” He gives a small smile and walks back into the house.

Hazel sighs and leans her head against the said of the house. “At least if New York is a bust I’ll have a roof over my head.”  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
The smaller saloon in Valentine left much to be desired Hosea thought as he pushed what was supposed to be oatmeal around the bowl. Arthur was shooting the bull with some desperate sod who was trying to write a book about Jim Calloway. Said Jim Calloway was slumped over on the bar with a glass of the crap whiskey that was served here. But if there was money to be had and Arthur got some amusement what was that harm in hunting down a few has been gunslingers?

“Not enjoying that mess Old Man?” Arthur grunts as he sits down, flipping through some cards he was given at the bar. 

“Pearson makes better food than this. What did you find?”

“Gonna go find some old gunslingers and be lulled to sleep by old stories about the good ole days. What about you? You were looking awfully pleased with yourself when I got here.”

“I’m thinking about going hunting. I need to get away from camp. How much time until you have to head back?” Arthur and most of the men had ventured to Blackwater to try and find Sean and Arthur and Javier had returned and said that Trelawney would send word when they could get to him.

“A few days maybe, said he’d send word when we could go. I want Lenny to be back before we head that way.”

“Him and Micah headed out yesterday to scout around, they should be back before the days out.”

“Every time Micah goes anywhere it never goes well.”

“Lenny has a good head; he’ll keep that moron in line.”

I hope so.” Arthur says taking a swig of the beer that Hosea had bought with his lunch.

“Wanna go hunting with me? I could use a break.”

“Dutch mind?”

“Let me deal with Dutch. I’ll head back to camp and get what we need, meet me there in an hour or so.”

Hosea left the mush on the table and mounted Silver Dollar and rode back towards camp. The trip to town hadn’t been a total loss. There had been talk all over the town about a huge bear that was causing problems up north for a while. Then he had lifted a map from a loud mouth who claimed he had eaten shit and had a grudge against the whole town. He had been so loud and obnoxious that he almost cost Hosea a poker game. The map showed where a lot of large animals supposedly were and Hosea had felt young again looking at all the places he would have to go for the hunt. Big animals meant big profit and big profit is what they needed. Hunting was also legal and would help with that low profile thing Dutch had been spouting off about when they got camp set up. 

Hosea waved to Karen who was leaning against a tree and smoking on her cigarette. He handed the reins to Kieran who was still as jumpy as ever. Not that Hosea blamed the boy, but what he lacked in calmness he made up for in the care he gave all the horses. “I’m gonna be heading out in about an hour so keep him saddled.”

“Yes Sir Mr. Hosea.”

“Put some apples in the bag for me too.” Hosea says walking away before he could stutter back an answer. Dutch was sitting outside his tent with his nose in a book. At the older man’s steps his head lifts and a small smile graces his face.

“How was your trip Old Girl?”

“Eventful, Arthur is going to chase down some old gunslingers and ask them about the good ole days for cash.”

“Okay….not the strangest thing that man has done for money.”

“Nope, remember when the woman asked him to string her husband’s clothes to a line and string it to all the buildings in Osage in the middle of winter?”

“I still want to know how he even got mixed up in that little marital spat.”

“I’m taking him hunting; we’ll be gone a few days. Leaving as soon as he gets back.”

“I need my best man out there-.”

“Big animals Dutch, big animals mean big profit. I’m not chasing down a grizzly alone anymore and if I have to be stuck with someone away from camp for a few days it’s going to be Arthur. We’ll be back before anything happens.”

“There are plenty of animals running around here, why do you need to be gone so long?”

“Because what I’ll get for this one bear is what I would get for about twenty deer.”

“Okay, okay. You win, just be careful out there, it’s still cool at night so wear your thicker coat and bring your herbs.”

“Now who’s being the mother hen?”

“Hazel would double check your bags before you left camp.” Dutch says with a short laugh that falls dead on the air. “Hosea-.”

“It’s okay, and she would.” Hosea sighs and looks over the edge of camp. “We found Sean, maybe he knows where she’s at, or at least maybe he saw her.”

“I hope so.”  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
Hazel spent the morning making sure all her junk was in packed. She kept feeling the pocket of her jeans for the money for her stage ticket and her satchel for her revolver.

Maddy had made a delicious breakfast of meat and eggs, and she gave Hazel a bag of snacks for the ride and a new pen.

Norman had headed out right after breakfast and Hazel tried to help around the place as much as she could, waiting for the stage to come.

“You and Norman have a good talk last night?”

“Yes, he told me about your offer if New York is a bust. I appreciate it.”

“But you hope you won’t have to take me up on it?”

“Yeah, I really want to find my family.”

“Words of advice, when you’re on that train and people ask about your travels, say you were visiting a cousin and are now on your way home. The story you gave us wasn’t very consistent.”

“I’ve never had to come up with a story before. Good to know that I’m really bad at it so I don’t try anymore.”

“I’m also good at figuring things like that out. I knew who Norman was when we met. He was rough a dirty. Ran around with a few nasty fellers, you don’t live life like that and come out without scars. But we made a good life, and I want the same thing for you. You don’t have to live that life.”

“Thank you Maddy, I mean it. It means a lot. And you have shown me something I didn’t think I would ever get to experience. One day, maybe I’ll get me a little cabin with a dog and some chickens, away from it all.”

“I wouldn’t say we’re away from it all-,“

Outside sudden yells and gun shots shook the windows in the cabin.

“See what I mean.” Maddy says as she puts the rag down and calls for James to get inside. I grab my satchel from the hook and toss it over my head and step outside on the porch. 

The town is in chaos. Woman trying to herd their children out of the road as men on horses fill the street. I stay slow to the edge of the road as possible and walk towards the center of town, there was some sort of brawl by the general store. A large group of men are wrestling with a larger man and another mad in a green vest is tied to the railing, Norman is standing off to the side speaking with the sheriff. I’m standing by the scared newspaper boy when they finally get the larger man in the red shirt restrained and as they haul him to his feet my mouth drops open when I see a bruised and bloody Micah Bell. 

I look around the street trying to see a familiar horse or better yet a face. But I only recognize Baylock who isn’t hitched anywhere at the end of the lane. 

“You better let me go or you’ll pay for this!” Micah’s loud voice cuts over the rest of the noise as he is trussed up tighter than he seemed to be a few moments ago. The sheriff walks over to him.

“Micah Bell, you are under arrest for public drunkenness, theft, and murder. I’m sure by the time I dig around some more I will find several more sins to read at your hanging. Get him out of here.”

“You’ll regret this Skinny! Mark my words!” Micah yells as he is pulled up the streets, the other man walking calmly behind them. The sheriff walks back towards Norman who was holding a gun in his hand, giving it a little spin.

“For bringing this man to our attention we’ll let you keep those guns, they look like they’ve had a lot of work done on them. I’ll need you to come by for a statement.”

“I didn’t know the other man they were with, looked like a kid. Some poor black fool that thought Micah was the way to success. His horse looked like a palomino mustang.” Hazel sucked in a breath, that had to be Lenny. Maggie was a mustang with a light palomino coat and Lenny still looked young enough and was young enough to be called a kid by most people, even Arthur called him kid.

“Our boys are on it. They’ll catch him. I’m gonna go get that scum locked up.”

“Thanks Vernon.” 

Norman walked away from the mob that was now gathered in front of the jail, when he got closer to me he put the guns in the bag that hung from his shoulders. “How’s that for small town? I didn’t think I’d ever seen that bastard again.”

“You know that man?” I ask trying to pretend I didn’t.

“Yep, ran with him years ago. He’s a crazy, ruthless man. If Jeff is smart they’ll hang him from the highest tree in town. They’ll have to send for the judge and with all that crap in Blackwater it might take a moment for them to get here. They’ll have to double the men on watch while he’s here.”

“They said another one got away?”

“Yeah, skinny dark kid, not much older than you from what I saw of him. Was quiet when I was pushing the liquor into Micah’s hand. As soon as the law approached he took off on his horse that way.” Norman points out the southern entrance of town. 

That had to be Lenny. He wouldn’t draw attention to himself but he wouldn’t just leave Micah either.

“This won’t hold up the stage will it?”

“Nah, shouldn’t cause a problem. In fact it might be in a bigger hurry to get out of here.”

“I’m gonna go buy some candy as a goodbye gift for James, I’ll see you back at the house.”

Normal nodded and took off towards the house and I walked into the store, I bought candy and pretended to browse the shelves, the crowd outside the jail was thinning a little, but I didn’t dare approach it yet. 

I needed to talk to Micah and see if they were close.

I soon left and went to play five finger fillet with Arnold and Phillip. I had some extra money to spend and the game table was in a good position to watch the jail.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
1885

“Uncle Dutch, what is that game that John and Arthur play that makes Papa so mad?” Hazel asks from her spot at Dutch’s feet where she is scribbling on some paper. To Dutch it looked like a tornado but Hazel insisted it was a tumbleweed.

He was still feeling under the weather but his fever had finally broken. Arthur and John had been sent into town to fetch Susan and Annabelle while   
Hosea was off in the woods at his newly found creek and was promising to return with lots of fish.

“If your Papa gets mad that they are playing it why would I tell you?”

“Arthur says it’s easy money if you can play it right, which is what he always says to John. And making money is important. So I should know how to play it.”

“You can’t play five finger fillet without a knife and I am not giving you one. If you want to learn you’re going to have to ask someone else.”

“I know how they do it, I just didn’t know what it was called. I’ve been practicing with a stick. I’m thinking of playing with Arthur. He always beats John and I think I can beat him.” Hazel says as she draws what looks like a fork.

“That good huh?” Dutch asks as he coughs into his bandana that hasn’t left his side in a week.”

“Yeah! Watch!” she sits up and closes her book and using her pen she stabs it quickly between her little fingers faster than Dutch was expecting. She wasn’t nowhere near as fast as Arthur or John, but with more practice she would be pretty fast. But there was also a huge difference between a pen and a knife. Dutch didn’t want to be within a thousand yards of Hazel if she ever cut off her finger playing that stupid game. Hosea always smacked the boys if he caught them playing it and the one time Arthur had boasted that the money he brought it was from winning a tournament of sorts Hosea had scolded him so bad Arthur didn’t even ask for his bleeding and cut up hand to be looked at.

“Good job Hazelnut, but how about you wait until you’re a little faster to play against Arthur. You want to beat the pants off of him you have to be a bit faster. Bring that up here and I’ll show you.”  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
1899

The fire did a good job at keeping the chill away from the small camp he and Arthur has set up. The rabbit was long gone and the coffee was boiling on the ground. Hosea figured by the time they made the ride all the way to the base of the mountains they would have to make camp since they left Horseshoe so late in the day. 

Arthur was scribbling away in his journal, looking up at him on occasion and rubbing the back of his hand against the page when he didn’t like a line or something he drew. “I’m glad you finally decided to get a new journal, regardless of what you said after the fire you enjoy it. We all need something that brings us joy.”

“It’s just another thing I have to keep away from Karen when she gets drunk and starts digging into things.” He grunts pulling his knee closer to his face, the fire light probably wasn’t the best thing to draw by.

“Since it doesn’t seem to leave your satchel I don’t think that will be a problem, and you don’t leave crap around like Bill, have you read his discharge letter?”

“If my first name was Marion I’d keep that locked up tight too. Is it Bill or Marion on his posters?”

“I don’t know, I’ll go look through Hazel’s stash and find out.”

“What are you going to do with all that?” Arthur asks lowering his pen and looking at Hosea. “I mean, she has so much random junk in the trunk I’m surprised anyone can lift the thing.”

“I don’t know, I’ll wait and speak to Sean and see if he saw her before I make any decisions. I know she was talking about tossing some of the stuff away too. She probably has some posters for those gunslingers you’re going to be chasing after.”

“If she ever gets her face on a poster I’m going to frame it since she has all of mine in the stash. You know she has one of Dutch from you’re first job? The one in Canton?”

“Yep. Back when I still had color in my hair. They never could get my nose right.”

“I hope Sean says he saw her. I keep going over it again and again trying to piece that mess together. Goliath could have handled us both, he would have been slow as dirt but we both could have gotten out.”

“My guess is she stuck to the outskirts of Blackwater. The law chased the boys off that boat all the way towards the bank, and then they broke off when our boys separated. John said he went down by the saloon and crawled over to that spooked nag that died in the mountain. That’s why Charles rode back with Old Boy behind him. None of them saw her and they were in the heart of Blackwater. Somebody would have seen her if she went deep into the city.”

“Maybe she got away? Stole a horse and booked it out of there. Went to one of the safe spots we set up in New Austin?”

“If that’s the case she’ll have a hell of a time tracking us down. Going the opposite direction we set out for, having to make her way in a state that’s under lockdown.” Hosea rubs the back of his head and yawns. “Let’s call it Arthur, gonna get an early start in the morning. Grizzly’s wait for no one.”  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
Dawn broke and Hosea tossed a few sticks at Arthur as he poured himself some coffee. Arthur was not a person to sleep a lot, so when he did get a decent night’s sleep he was a bear himself in the morning. Hosea wanted the sleepiness out of his system before they headed after their prey.   
Hosea was packed up while Arthur downed the rest of his coffee and was rubbing his eyes. Telling the boy how to mix the bait was so reminiscent of when he was a child it made Hosea smile as he rolled up Arthur’s bedroll and strapped it to the back of the Shire that Arthur decided to keep for himself instead of selling it as Hosea suggested a few days before they left.

Soon they were on their way and Hosea was impressed with the tracking lessons Arthur had been having with Charles, Arthur had been a decent tracker before Charles was picked up, now he was much improved, seeing things that even Hosea missed.  
Then they giant bear almost ate them both. Arthur had stood his ground and shot at the thing while Hosea had scrambled behind a rock. As Arthur pulled him to his feet and he felt all the twinges in his back and hips he had no hesitation in handing the map off to Arthur. He wasn’t a young man anymore. No matter how active this life was there was no way to out run old age. Hosea was under no impression that his time on this Earth was long, he knew he had more days behind him than in front of him, but he would make his last days mean something for his family.   
Hosea and his oldest child rode at a slow pace back to camp, telling stories and Arthur stopping every time he spotted ginseng on the side of the   
road for Hosea’s collection. 

They were back at camp for about an hour when Lenny came galloping back into camp shouting that Micah was going to be hanged and Hosea shook his head at the story and he wasn’t in any hurry to send Arthur into that town to get his out. Gang or not, Micah was a liability they really didn’t need right now, but Dutch was focused about no man being left behind. Even though they had left several in Blackwater.  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
Hazel was grateful that Strawberry was built on a hill; she had no issues ducking behind the jail to the side of the building that had a window into the basement cells. She heard talking and grunting and she kicked the bars to get Micah’s attention. His face broke out into a sickly sweet smile when he saw her.

“Well, well, well. Looks like you aint so dead after all princess. Hosea will be so thrilled.”

“Not as thrilled as I am to see you behind these bars Micah. What the hell are you doing this close to Blackwater?” Hazel crouches down to get a better look at the man. He’s going to have one hell of a shiner on his eye.

“Scouting, making sure we weren’t followed. You?”

“Stumbled in about a month ago, I was getting ready to head to New York to find Trelawney.” 

“He aint in New York, so be grateful I showed up before you did something that stupid.”

“Is everyone okay?”

“Look, as much as I’d love to play catch up now is not the time for it. Get me outta here.”

“Tell me where they are and I’ll get you out.”

“Get me out and I’ll tell you. You never liked me so why should I trust that you’ll get me outta here.”

“Because you’ll swing if I leave you here, and as much as I’d love to see that Dutch wouldn’t.” Hazel hisses in a low voice. 

“Lenny got away, he’ll send someone for me. We both can just sit tight, nice and cozy in this little town.”

“Damnit Micah, I have no time for your bullshit. Tell me where they are?”

“Get. Me. Out. And I will tell you.”

“You’re such as asshole.” Hazel says as she kicks at the bars, just missing the man’s fingers. He just chuckles at her. “I had to get my stuff, as soon as I bust you out they’ll be all over the place. Five minutes.”

“Baylock is by the scaffold, put your shit there and get me out.”

Hazel walked slowly back towards the house. The stage was there, Hazel could leave, but again she has no idea where to go. New York was out since Josiah didn’t end up that way for some reason and there was a whole county in the direction that Lenny headed into. If the new camp was even that way, he could have just been looking for a quick out.

She didn’t have another feasible choice than to try and bust the moron out.

She only had her satchel and a small bag with the few belongings she had accumulated since she arrived in town. Normal was hanging the revolvers above the fireplace when she walked in.

“I do not want them in this house Norman!” Maddy hissed gesturing at the weapons. “That maniac saw you; we need to get out of here.”

“He’s in jail Maddy, he’s going to swing this time.”

“How many times has be busted out?”

“Not this time.”

“I swear Norman, those things better be gone when I get back.” Maddy says spinning on her heels and calling for James walking out of the room.

“Everything okay?” Hazel asks looking at the tall man who was staring at the revolvers that Hazel knew had been a gift to Micah from his father when he was a teenager.

“I’ve seen these guns cause so much pain and death, but I know what they mean to that man. Him dying knowing I have them is something that will haunt him even after the rope snaps. I might even bring them to the hanging.”

“If they make Maddy this uncomfortable maybe they shouldn’t be on display. No one will know why they are important.”

“The group you run with, any of them have a gun that is just theirs? No one else can even look at it without getting a dirty look?”

“My brother has a cattleman that he’s customized everything possible on it. Takes it with him everywhere even if he doesn’t use it.”

“That’s Micah and these guns. No one else has to know their significance because I do.”

“If it makes you happy.” Hazel says with a grimace. Norman was almost giddy at the thought of Micah swinging. If Hazel could she would be right there with him. Micah had been the biggest pain in the ass since he showed up. He was a good gun, but he had a short temper and always ended up drawing more attention that needed. 

He was also the one who put the ferry in Dutch’s path and refused to let up on it even when Hosea and Arthur had a lead with their scam.   
Hazel knew Micah was right, Lenny would have gotten away and Dutch would send someone after him. But Hazel couldn’t stick around that long. The whole town knew she was leaving today and if she didn’t they would wonder why and she didn’t have a good explanation. And if she stuck around until someone, probably Arthur, John, Charles, or Javier showed up to bust him out and she left at the same time she would never be able to come back. Hazel liked Strawberry and she had found a family in Norman and Maddy. 

She had to bust Micah out and get on the stage like what she had planned. She could meet Micah at Riggs station and go from there.   
Hazel gathered her stuff and stepped out on the porch to watch James mount Hoagie and take off out of town. “As long as that maniac is here he’ll be safer helping at the stables.” Maddy said waving at her son as he rode off.

“I know things are crazy, so you don’t have to walk me to the stage. I just wanted to thank you again for everything.” Hazel embraced Maddy and thanked her again for all she had done. Norman had said his goodbyes before going back into the house. He was going to take a nap before he went to give his statement. They weren’t saying anything, but there was a chance they would have to leave as soon as he gave his statement. Micah could rat him out and then Norman would be right there with him. 

Hazel went to the stage and got in, asking for a ride to the lumberyard that was up the hill. So it looked like she left town like she said. Then she walked back into town.

Rain started to fall as the sun went down. Hazel approached Baylock who was a sweetheart even though Micah was an ass. She fed him a peppermint and tied her bag onto his saddle and loosened his reins from the post so he could come as soon as called for. She pulled the extra revolver that he had concealed in his bedroll loose.

Hazel walked back towards the jail, her new hat pulled low over her head and her hair in a tight braid at her neck. Her red bandana was tied at her neck, ready to pull up if needed. Creeping around the back was easy; she passed Micah his extra gun from his saddle. 

There was no way to get him out the front door, but there was a winch that she could use to pull the bars off. It would make a lot of noise, but it was the only way she saw that would get him out. 

“As soon as this pulls we need to go. Baylock is ready to go as soon as you’re out.”

“Let’s go then.”

Hazel pulled the bar and with a huge explosion the wall was pulled from the building and soon Hazel was in a firefight because Micah wouldn’t just get on the horse and leave. She had been distracted shooting at the lawmen on the balconies that she didn’t realize they had gone the long way around town and Micah was on a rampage to get his guns back. Norman’s body hitting the ground froze Hazel where she stood, a bullet ripped her hat from her head as Maddy’s scream was cut short by a loud bang.  
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-  
Hazel felt sick as she clung to the back of Micah as they finally made their way out of town. They rode towards Painted Sky and stole a Morgan from the barn. Hazel didn’t say a word to Micah as he said the gang was at Horseshoe Overlook, right outside of Valentine. He took off and said he would come back when he had something for Dutch. Hazel hoped he got caught again. She wouldn’t be saving him ever again.   
She rode through the night, cried as the rain fell from the sky and washed her tears away. She didn’t know where Horseshoe Overlook was, but she could make her way to Valentine and find a map from there. 

She felt numb and confused. How many families had they killed for one reason or another? The only reason it was hurting so bad it because she knew this one. They had taken her in and helped her when she was desperate. They were good people who didn’t deserve what happened. Hazel was grateful that Maddy had sent James away so he didn’t have to watch his parents be murdered in front of him or be dead right beside them.   
Valentine came into view as the sun came up. It was bigger than Strawberry, a livestock town. She could see why the group settled close to here, they would do well in a place like this. She rode past the train station and a rundown saloon that was called Keane’s Saloon, she soon saw the door of what looked like the town’s jail open and two shabby men stumbled out of the door, one quickly pushed the other out of the way to barf off the wooden deck. Hazel felt her eyes fill up with tears as she recognized them as Arthur and Lenny.   
She slipped down from the exhausted Morgan’s back and walked towards the men.

“-your idea of a quiet drink?” Lenny says as he straightens up from his mess on the ground.”

“The first one was pretty quiet.” Arthur’s gruff voice still sounds slurred as he rubbed his eyes.

“The only way Arthur knows how to drink it loudly, you should know that by now.” Hazel yells as she gets close enough for them to notice her. 

They both spin around so fast, Lenny having to grab the railing to stay on his feet, his jaw dropping before a smile breaks across his face and he jumps off the deck and wraps his arms around Hazel. Lenny squeezes her tight before pulling her off her feet and holding her tighter. “I can’t believe it!” He says loudly in her ear, causing her to laugh as she tried to pull back to breath. 

Arthur was standing a few inches away, waiting his turn. His face is blank but his eyes are blazing with emotion. 

Lenny finally lets her go and steps to the side. Hazel smiles at her brother and gives him a small smile. “Hi Arthur.” She sniffs to keep the emotion from her voice. Arthur takes a step forwards and wraps her tight in his arms. He too lifts her feet from the ground but he spins her in a small circle before he sets her on the ground. “I am never letting you out of my sight again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: She’s finally back! I was determined to get her back in the chapter which is why I glossed over the Strawberry mess. But it will be brought up later and it’s going to impact Hazel as the story goes on.
> 
> I did a lot of checking on what kind of horse Maggie is, most places say she is a Mustang while a few said she was a Morgan. I don’t think she has the right build for a Morgan but she doesn’t really look a lot like the Mustangs. But I think The Count is an Arabian even though he doesn’t really look like the Arabian Arthur can ride. So I’m saying she’s a Mustang and leaving it at that. 
> 
> Like most people I have a deep hatred for Micah, but I didn’t like him from the start. I went into RDR2 blind and even in the beginning I hated him. So my person dislike for Micah will be a running thing since any chance I have to Micah bash I will take. 
> 
> I want to thank everyone for taking time out of their day to read this. 
> 
> I’m sorry for any spelling and grammar errors that litter this thing. It’s hard to catch them all when I look over it.


End file.
